Untamed Symphony

American English!

2005-11-03T14:23:00.000Z

Thanks for reminding me Atomic :) It’s not my intention to post once a month, but life it still not balanced for me at the moment, and my stress levels are going through the roof, which is probably why it’s falling down :)

But hey, I try to keep on smiling.

I got this by e-mail from a dear girlfriend in New York, made me have a chuckle…

To the Citizens of the United States of America:

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, The following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (Look up vocabulary.) Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save the Queen."

July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) - roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as ‘Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine’, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.

John Cleese

Hitting the spot!

2005-10-05T13:22:00.000Z

I know, I know, it’s been a bit quiet on the Opus front lately, but my life is not quite as calm as I would like it to be right now.

Still, stories like this bring a smile to my face…

An Oregon woman whose doctor convinced her that he could cure her lower back pain by having sex with her is suing him and his medical clinic for $4 million, according to legal documents obtained on Monday.

The doctor, Randall Smith, who was 50 at the time, was stripped of his license and sent to jail for 60 days last year for charging the state's Oregon Health Plan $5,000 for his 45-minute "treatments" involving the woman.

"Dr. Smith's medical treatment included intercourse in which he told plaintiff was needed to help alleviate plaintiff's lower back and lower extremity pain," the former patient said in the lawsuit.

The lawsuit, which charges battery, negligence and intentional and negligent infliction of emotional distress, was filed on Friday in Multnomah County court.

"We never comment on lawsuits," said a spokesman for the Adventist Medical Group clinic in Gresham, Oregon where Smith worked. Smith could not be located for comment.

Though he pleaded guilty to submitting false health care claims, a felony, Smith maintained the sex with the 47-year-old woman was consensual.

Source: Reuters

Rabbit! Rabbit!

2005-09-01T20:02:00.000Z

I don’t get it... well I do but that’s not what I mean, what I mean is.

Why are lots of people searching on Google for Jessica Rabbit? She’s a cartoon character for god’s sake.

My stats are full of referrals for the search Jessica Rabbit, and the search throws up this page on my blog. Now granted it’s a rather sexy pic but she’s not real, you can’t shag her, and let’s face it she’s a ginger, not that I’ve anything against gingers - literally or otherwise - but apparently gingers are not the preferred choice. Plus by the looks of it she’s not in to gardening…

So can someone please enlighten me?

Is Roger looking for his Missus!

Nookie!

2005-08-29T11:54:00.000Z

I’m back from the wilderness!

Just in time for carnival, so to ease myself back into the blogger-sphere why don't we indulge in a little nookie…

If you’re heading to carnival, then check out the Rampage sound system, I’m sure this tune will be played quite a few times and there's gonna be a whole lotta flirting going on.

It’s not that this song is particularly good, but it’s great for the carnival spirit.

Nookie

Samba De Bencao

2005-07-22T18:25:00.000Z

I enjoyed listening to Andre’s and Mike’s podcasting, great tunes.

I’d love to join in on the podcasting but hey I haven’t got time to set everything up and do a podcast of ten minutes let alone twenty minutes, or even fifty.

So instead I simply bring you some audio pleasure (hopefully), with lovely Bebel Gilberto.

Kick back and mix yourself a Caipirinha.

Missionary position

2005-07-20T17:55:00.000Z

Cliterature

2005-07-14T12:51:00.000Z

Back in January I posted ‘Are you sexually cliterate’, and ‘Read my lips’.

Recently I have been following Deanne’s alphabet sex over at the d spot, so far she’s up to D.

When she got to B I was interested to see what C would be and I left a comment requesting that she go for the obvious for C, because too few guys get it right, yes you know what I’m talking about.

Well Deanne very kindly pointed me in the direction of Hof’s guide to cunnilingus post, and I can highly recommend that all cunnilingus lovers whether male or female read Hof’s guide.

As I noted in a previous post the clitoris has eighteen parts all of which play a role in the production of pleasure, generally speaking I would say guys are only aware of four parts, and I’m being kind.

Also, the clitoral glans (the head) has approximately eight thousand nerve endings, twice as many as the head of the penis and more than any other part of the human body. Even more reason to be gentle and take your time and work slowly toward that ever so sensitive, sweet spot.

I don’t envy guys, I mean they don’t understand women; we’re just too complex, so how are they supposed to master the clitoris and her eighteen parts. And how are they to learn how to gently woo us in to oral pleasure when faced – literally – with such a sensitive bud.

And it’s not easy for women to give guidance because they don’t want the guy to feel he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but the facts are, when a guy first starts going out with a woman (apart from a few basics), he is not going to know what she likes, how she prefers her oral caress.

Communication is important, especially at the start of a new intimate relationship. Personally I feel comfortable with giving a partner guidance, tactfully verbalising my preferences, and this has always been met with enthusiasm.

However, many women are not comfortable with verbalising their sexual needs, and just as many men feel uncomfortable asking. This is where a wonderful book ‘She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman’ by Ian Kerner proves to be invaluable. Men should read it. Women should read it and then leave it on the bedside table, or if you’re brazen then on the coffee table.

And for those of you who missed this the first time, I leave you with a quote from the book.

“It’s time to ‘think outside her box’. When it comes to the oral caress, every man should make a mantra of Rhett Butler’s infamous line to Scarlett O’Hara in Gone with the Wind: ‘You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.”

As above so below

2005-07-08T12:55:00.000Z

As above so below

On a day like today… after yesterday, I tend to reflect, internalize, and re-address the balance.

I also like to read other Blogs and take my mind off of things.

I popped over to Peter’s at dot.bench as he often has a humorous story to tell and he didn’t let me down ‘Like A Greyhound Bus With Wings’ had me smiling the whole way through.

Peter has also been following Rob Brezsny’s ‘Free Will Astrology’ for a while and I have been checking in once a week to see what Rob has to say.

I just have to say that I’ve never been one for pure sun sign astrology simply because I have studied astrology and know that sun sign astrology alone is only 10% of the story. However I do find Rob’s weekly horoscopes interesting and what he has to say does make me reflect. I make sure to read both my sun sign and my ascendant, cancer and leo respectively.

So it would be interesting to see what you guys think, does Rob make sun sense for you?

Aries / Taurus/ Gemini / Cancer / Leo/ Virgo / Libra / Scorpio / Sagittarius / Capricorn / Aquarius / Pisces

Cancer June 21-July 22

For week beginning July 7, 2005

One of your lifelong projects is to learn the art of keeping proper boundaries. That doesn't always come easy for you. In your subconscious mind you're often thinking, "I can't figure out where I leave off and everyone else begins." Having sounded this warning, though, I'll now advise you to completely surrender to the urge to merge, at least temporarily. Blend, connect, and commune with abandon. Write this declaration by sculptor Malvina Hoffman on your arm: "My true center is an enormous capacity for falling in love with everything around me."

My thoughts

2005-07-07T19:35:00.000Z

It’s been a fraught day, but now I can settle knowing that family and friends are okay.

My thoughts are with those less fortunate.

Stealing beauty

2005-07-06T17:09:00.000Z

SONKAJARVI: Estonia reigned supreme once again in the wife-carrying world championship, as Margo Uusorg sprinted home to win the Baltic country's eighth straight title in the offbeat competition.

Forty couples from 10 countries gathered in the remote Finnish village of Sonkajarvi to complete a 253.5-metre-long obstacle course. A man must carry a woman, not necessarily his spouse, through a pool and across hurdles.

The few rules require a minimum weight of 49kg for the "wife" and state that all contestants must have fun.

Uusorg, 25, completed the course in 59 seconds with friend Egle Soll, 23, clinging to his back in the trademark "Estonian Carry" – hanging upside down with her legs clenched around his neck.

Uusorg's prizes were his partner's weight in beer and a high-tech mobile phone.

It was his fourth victory, and the third in a row for his family. Brother Madis won in 2004.

We don't have a secret, we just try to run fast and hope the legs work," said Uusorg, who works in Stockholm as an embassy driver. He warned that the family would be even stronger contenders next year when brother number three, Urmet, takes part.

"He holds the Estonian record for the 800 metres," Uusorg said.

Uusorg and Soll received first prize from the hands of visiting U.S. basketball legend Dennis Rodman, who declined to compete, saying he lacked both a wife and proper training.

"I'm not in shape... It could hurt the back," said the former Chicago Bulls and Detroit Pistons forward. But he promised to train for next year.

"I'll carry the kids around the house or something," he said.

Some 9000 people came to view the event, set deep in forests and lakes a couple of hours' drive from the Arctic Circle. It began in 1992 as a purely Finnish contest based on local legend, according to which wife-stealing was once commonplace in the region.

The men are strong and the women are brave. I’m not sure I’d like to be dangling upside down for that distance with my head firmly planted between my partners butt cheeks. Now if I were dangling the other side that could be interesting.

Still I guess it’s worth it for the beer.

38 today!

2005-07-01T12:52:00.000Z

So another year… a little older and a little wiser, ha! Maybe.

It’s a lovely day so I’m off for the afternoon now, but I leave you with a few events from 1967 and famous birthdays for July 1st… scary to think that Pamela Anderson is my astrological twin!

Events from 1967:

The UK won the Eurovision Song Contest with Sandie Shaw’s ‘Puppet on a String’
The average wage was £21.7s.6d
The first all-British satellite, Ariel 3, was put into orbit
The European Community was formed
The Beatles' Sergeant Pepper album was released
Elvis Presley married Priscilla Beaulieu
Regular colour television broadcasting began on BBC2
Ernesto 'Che' Guevara was killed in Bolivia
Albert DeSalvo, the Boston Strangler, was sentenced to life imprisonment

Famous July 1st birthdays:

1899 Charles Laughton - actor

1916 Olivia DeHavilland – actress

1931 Leslie Caron - actress

1934 Jamie Farr – actor

1934 Jean Marsh - actress

1941 Twyla Tharp – dancer, choreographer

1942 Karen Black - actress

1942 Genevieve Bujold - actress

1945 Deborah Harry - singer, actress

1952 Dan Aykroyd - comedian, actor

1956 Alan Ruck - actor

1961 Carl Lewis - runner

1961 Princess Diana

1961 Michelle Wright - country singer

1967 Pamela Anderson - model, actress

1971 Missy Elliott - singer, songwriter

1977 Liv Tyler - actress

1976 Ruud Van Nistelrooy - footballer

Words, words, words.

2005-06-30T11:20:00.000Z

My lack of blogging has been appalling I know, but with good reason.

I’m getting creative... again

I’ve always loved writing and when I was at school many moons ago, I was lucky enough to have an English teacher who encouraged me. During class she would let me sit at the back and write a short story and at the end of the class I’d hand it in and she would review it for me.

I was around twelve years old, my imagination was endless, and I kept coming up with a new short story each week.

After a year or so the teacher suggested that I start to enter writing competitions... and then... boys came along, I stopped writing and started getting creative in other ways. Yes, I started young, but I don’t regret a thing.

Then when I was sixteen I went out with a guy who played the guitar and he taught me about lyric writing and song composition, I must have written at least fifty songs within the space of 5 months.

I still have a passion for lyrics and music and love artists such as Jill Scott who effortlessly blend poetry and music, but short stories and poetry are my forte, not music.

In my twenties I knuckled down to a 3 year degree in creative writing and publishing at Middlesex University, and have done nothing with it.

So with my 38th birthday coming up (actually tomorrow), I decided that my creativity should not be left to run idle any longer, hence my lack of blogging. What with work, keep fit, socialising, and writing, my days are pretty much taken care of.

I’m not quitting my blog, no, no, no. I’ve simply decided to get back in to creative writing and to see where it takes me.

At some point, I might start a creative writing blog.

Turn me off baby

2005-06-22T13:15:00.000Z

For women, it seems, sex is a big turn-off, reveals a brain scanning study. It shows that many areas of the brain switch off during the female orgasm - including those involved with emotion.

“At the moment of orgasm, women do not have any emotional feelings,” says Gert Holstege of the University of Groningen in the Netherlands.

His team recruited 13 healthy heterosexual women and their partners. The women were asked to lie with their heads in a PET scanner while the team compared their brain activity in four states: simply resting, faking an orgasm, having their clitoris stimulated by their partner’s fingers, and clitoral stimulation to the point of orgasm.

The results of the study are striking. As the women were stimulated, activity rose in one sensory part of the brain, called the primary somatosensory cortex, but fell in the amygdala and hippocampus, areas involved in alertness and anxiety. During orgasm, activity fell in many more areas of the brain, including the prefrontal cortex, compared with the resting state, Holstege told a meeting of the European Society for Human Reproduction and Development in Copenhagen on Monday.

In one sense the findings appear to confirm what is already known, that women cannot enjoy sex unless they are relaxed and free from worries and distractions. "Fear and anxiety levels have to go down for orgasm. Everyone knows this but we can see it happening in the brain," he explains.

From an evolutionary point of view, it could be that the brain switches off the emotions during sex because at such times the chance to produce offspring becomes more important than the survival risk to the individual. Holstege points to the extraordinary behaviour seen in some animals during the breeding season, such as March hares, when the urge to mate seems to override the usual fear of predators.

But Holstege cannot explain why there is such extreme deactivation in so many areas of the brain during orgasm. Only one small part of the brain, in the cerebellum, was more active during female orgasm. The cerebellum is normally associated with coordinating movement, though there is also some evidence that it helps regulate emotions. “We don’t know what activation of the cerebellum corresponds to,” Holstege admits.

His study also revealed clear differences when women were faking an orgasm. Part of the brain involved controlling conscious movement lit up, and there was none of the extreme deactivation. Next the team hope to look at what happens to the brain in the minutes after orgasm, as well as in patients with sexual problems.

The team has already done a similar study involving 11 men, which revealed far less deactivation during orgasm than in women. However, Holstege says the results are probably unreliable and need to be repeated. The problem is that PET scanners measure activity over two minutes - and in men it is all over in a few seconds.

Source: New Scientist

So you see guys it really is quite simple, if you want us to be less emotional, you know what you got to do…

Get naked in public!

2005-06-21T12:22:00.000Z

As part of her post yesterday Pink posed a question - White bits - sexy, or no?

Personally I’m not a fan of white bits, and in my case its lighter brown bits, which I think looks particularly unattractive.

Also being a complete sun whore I love to feel completely sun kissed, there’s nothing like it… well apart from the obvious.

So if it stays this hot I think I’m going to make the trek up to Kenwood Ladies Pond and get naked. Well you’re not supposed to get full on naked, topless is fine, but most of the women do get their bottoms off, and just put them back on for swimming.

The pond is enclosed and the rule is no girls under the age of 8 and girls under the age of 14 have to be accompanied by an adult – female of course, don’t think you can sneak in this way guys.

Whenever I’ve been I haven’t noticed many young girls at all mainly women, so it’s blissful and quiet (no music allowed, but personal MP3 player keeps me happy).

The facilities are not 5 star but there are showers, toilets, a life guard, and the pond is so deliciously refreshing.

It used to be a free facility but now there is a £2.00 charge for the day. Kenwood ladies pond is located just off of Millfield Lane.

Get a girlie group together, take a picnic and get there before noon to secure a good spot. And remember – practice safe sun.

P.S. Forgot to mention. On the way to Kenwood ladies pond as you walk up Millfield Lane, you’ll go past Highgate Mens Pond which is not enclosed. Okay so it’s about 95% gay, but hey they have some seriously fit bodies to ogle and they know how to flaunt it too.

Itsy bitsy

2005-06-20T11:33:00.000Z

Now this is what I call summer, given half a chance I would be a complete sun whore, it’s in my blood, after all, my dad does comes from Trinidad. I know one day I’ll move to a hot climate.

So this weekend I decided it was officially hot enough to get my kit off.

The only problem was I couldn’t find my bikini bottoms, I had the entire contents of my drawers strewn across my bed, but they were no where.

I was determined to get out in the sun so what’s a girl to do, I didn’t want to go shopping on such a hot day.

Knickers I thought, I’ll just have to wear some knickers, black knickers should be fine.

The next thing I noticed was that all my high-leg briefs were in the wash, I only had black thongs left to wear.

Well I had to reason with myself. I thought, if I were in France, Spain, or any other European country no one would bat an eyelid (well most wouldn’t).

So I went for it, and I’m glad I did, because I had absolutely nothing to worry about, a lot of the other sunbathers were foreign.

At one point a French couple walked past and sat down not too far away, I heard the guy say to the girl something like. “But that girl over there has a thong on, so go on baby wear yours.”

There I was liberating a French girl to get her cheeks out.

It’s all about personality

2005-06-17T13:50:00.000Z

I’ve been meaning to flesh out a previous post for some time, but being an ENFP my blogging is often inconsistent, ah well.

I found this article interesting because being a feeling perceiving type I often pick up on the undercurrents of people’s personalities.

Or rather…

When people are dating, during the first few weeks or even months, (sometimes years), their true personalities don’t surface, because of course they want to make a good impression, this is only normal. I’m not saying that we all go around lying and pretending to be something we are not (well some do, but this is a different topic). It’s just that our true colours take a while to show through.

But this is different for me; I’m very perceptive and just have a way of picking up on what’s not being said and reading between the lines, tone of voice, body language etc.

When I went in to the head hunting industry these natural skills were honed. When deciding whether or not to put a candidate forward their personality was always a more important consideration than their CV, I had to feel certain that their personality would fit with the company’s personality/culture, and typically I would only ever meet the candidate twice for a max of two hours. I was a natural at this and therefore found it very rewarding.

When it comes to personal relationships I can’t help but use these skills to my advantage, and I do believe that for a relationship to have real potential, having similar personalities – in the long term - really helps smooth the way.

It’s nice if a partner shares some of the same values, but it’s also nice for a partner to have different values, having different values shouldn’t really cause friction. But in my opinion when it comes to making days-to-day decisions, having similar personalities makes life that much easier.

Electrifying!

2005-06-16T11:29:00.000Z

A Serbian man who has invented a sex machine for women is appealing to western women to test his device.

Nesa Proka, from the central town of Krusevac, made the appeal after failing to find any willing Serbian women. He has taken out a patent on what he says is the “ultimate sex aid” for lonely women after spending three years working on it. The machine, which runs on a 390-volt electric engine, simulates sex and has a seven and a half inch artificial ‘penis’. He said: “My sex machine has an artificial penis hat can make up to 180 moves in a minute. A man can only manage that intensity of movement for about five seconds but the machine can do it for as long as the woman wants.

“And it comes with a set of controls to fully regulate the speed and intensity a woman for individual sex.” But Proka said he would have to market it in the west because he had not been able to find any Serbian woman to test it out. “Western women are more liberal. I couldn’t find a woman here to try the sex machine,” he told local daily Glas Javnosti.

But he did admit that some local women were curious about his invention and a few had come into his garage where he keeps it locked away just to look at it. One reportedly told the newspaper: “If I had a machine like that at home I would never go outside the front door.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Quite possibly because after a 20 minute session she wouldn’t be able to walk.

I certainly won’t be queuing to test it, I mean does this guy really think any woman wants a sex machine like this? Me thinks he’s been watching way too much porn.

Dear Nesa,

We have the ‘Rabbit’, the rabbit satisfies both G-Spot orgasm and Clitoral orgasm. Put G & C together and what do you get… Gorgeous Climax. Oh and btw, the ‘Rabbit’ doesn’t thrust at all, not one bit. It doesn’t need to make up to 180 moves in a minute. It rotates, and in doing so massages the G-Spot in a mmmmmmm kinda way.

As a suggestion, perhaps you might want to modify your sex machine and sell it as a drilling device. You never know, you may hit oil.

Nipple erectus

2005-06-10T15:57:00.000Z

Bliss, I love it when its likes this, but every time warm sunny weather comes around I get all self-conscious.

You see I believe I have a condition which I call nipple erectus, my nipples are practically always erect, the only time I’ve noticed them not being erect is first thing in the morning, even when I’m working out at the gym they’re erect.

It doesn’t really seem to matter what I wear, bra, no bra, shirt, t-shirt, they are just there. So unless I wear a jacket or something which is not very practical in hot weather, I’m constantly exposed so to speak.

Now I don’t actually have a problem with this, but I have to say that after a while I do start feeling self-conscious when guys just stare at my tits, or more precisely my nipples. And I know what they’re probably thinking… she must be horny, well I do have a healthy libido but I can’t be horny ALL the time.

So guys, spare a thought, next time you're out and about and you notice a girl with erect nipples, try not to part your lips slightly and readjust your manhood, have a good look just the once and be done with it.

Start me up

2005-06-09T08:29:00.000Z

Generally speaking is it accurate to say that men are more visual than women?

Popular culture would have us believe that when it comes to sex women are all about feelings and emotions, and men are all about urges and desires, and desire my friend’s starts with the eyes.

Personally I think they’ve got it all wrong, I would say women are as visual as men when it comes to sex, I know I certainly respond to, need, and love visual stimulation. Of course in simplistic terms it is my mind that is being stimulated by what is sees, or hears.

Over the years this topic has come up in conversation with many girlfriends, are men more visual and the response has been a resounding no, and from what I can gather – from my years of extensive research of course – women are suffering from lack of visual stimulation.

Now I’m not suggesting you should rush off and buy your wife/girlfriend a top shelf girlie magazine or arrange a quiet night in with a selection of porn, although… on occasion, no I digress.

What your wife/girlfriend wants is for you to offer your own personal brand of visual stimulation, get creative, mischievous, sensual, naughty, verbal, erotic, sexy. Once you put your mind to it there really is no limit to the imagination.

Booty call!

2005-06-06T20:36:00.000Z

BERLIN: German police, alerted to a potential kidnapping, "freed" a man from a car boot only to discover the would-be victim was actually a willing sex slave.

Police stopped the car after a concerned caller told them he had seen a woman locking someone in the boot. However, on opening it, they were greeted by the sight of the 39-year-old man wearing nothing but a leather thong and a collar.

"It turned out they were a couple from the S&M scene. The 'mistress' was driving, with the slave in the boot," said a police spokesman in the southern town of Bayreuth.

Deciding the rear of the car was not safe for the man, officers told him to sit inside the car and sent the pair on their way.

Source: Reuters

No takeaway…

2005-06-01T16:05:00.000Z

I read a recent post over at thegirl and noticed that Bathroom Reading had commented on it. This got me thinking so I thought I would share my thoughts on the issue.

I totally agree with thegirl, all men look, they have since year dot and they will always do so.

Now I may be unusual on this but it doesn’t bother me, or to be more precise, if I’m out with my partner, no matter where it is; café or party, no matter how I’m dressed; casual or all dressed up, I’m not bothered by him checking out other women, as long as he checks me out more. So what I’m saying is as long as I get the lion’s share of attention I don’t mind if my partner checks other women out.

However I would add that this checking out should be done in a refined manner, but then I don’t (thank god) attract un-refined men so this has never been a problem.

I don’t view this behaviour as derogatory or disrespectful in any way, I too check out beautiful women for different reasons of course, but I can appreciate and understand why men feel compelled to do this.

All things being equal I check other men out when I’m with my partner, but I always make sure to lavish the most attention on my guy.

As the saying goes, it’s okay to check out the menu, so long as you always eat at home.

The way of the kiss

2005-05-27T14:23:00.000Z

This is so true.

The first kiss is always the deciding factor for me on whether or not I’m going to get intimate with a guy. I love kissing and unfortunately too many guys don’t get it right. Seriously a guy can have a wonderful personality, but if he can’t kiss, intimate is not going to happen.

I truly think if a guy wants to get some guidance on this he should go get some good girl on girl porn to watch. Guys love watching girls kissing and with good reason, girls understand what a kiss can do done the right way.

But in the meantime, if you’re out on a date, here’s some guidance for that first kiss.

A good kiss should start off feather light and slow, teasing the object of your desire with your breath and your tongue. Tongue should gently dance with tongue. Lips should be sucked, licked, and teeth should gently nibble or bite. Keep the tempo and pressure varied. Coupled with all the licking, sucking, and nibbling, make sure there’s lots of tongue dancing.

You’re fully clothed (remember this is a kiss, you’re not naked), but touch is so important, so hands should be used to caress the face, neck, and fingers should run through hair.

The more senses that come in to play the better, so try opening your eyes intermittently.

Kissing is indeed an intricate dance, and to do it well men have to be in touch and comfortable with their feminine side.

What not to do:

Make it a quick kiss
Have too much saliva
Poke your tongue down her mouth trying to inspect her tonsils (your tongue should only ever go in a little, not the whole way).
Poke your tongue round her teeth checking for food
Press down on her mouth too hard with your mouth or your tongue
Stick your tongue in her mouth in such a manner that she is unable to use her tongue to kiss you back i.e. do not suffocate her
Let you hands dangle by your side
Allow your hands to wander to her breasts or her buttocks (unless she guides your hands to either of these places).

Baby, let me be

2005-05-26T11:12:00.000Z

ZURICH: A giant dominatrix teddy bear wearing a leather mask and brandishing hand-cuffs has been banned from a Zurich street display of man-sized model bears.

While tourists pose for snaps next to a brightly-painted and benign array of models such as the "schoolteacher bear" and the "skier bear", "Baervers" – a pun on the German for perverse – has been deemed too steamy for the financial capital's streets.

"This bear is perverse, dominatrix and hardcore. We had to ban it because of the children," Beat Seeberger-Quin, the project's art director, told Reuters.

The offending bear, which sports bright red lipstick, a corset and thigh-length leather boots, stands atop a pedestal bearing the words "first class service".

Some 600 teddies, variously decorated by artists, stud the streets of Zurich and its airport in the "Teddy-Summer" project.

The controversial model had been allocated a place near Zurich's Paradeplatz, home to Switzerland's top banks such as Credit Suisse and UBS, before Seeberger-Quin spotted the final design and decided to ban it.

The dominatrix bear's creators now seek a private home for their sadomasochist teddy. At least "Baervers" will not face the same hazards as his publicly-displayed peers, some of which have been vandalised or even kidnapped.

"Two or three of the bears have been splashed with paint, and one bear – a nice small bear wearing a little dress – has been stolen," Seeberger-Quin said.

Baby, let me be
Your lovin' teddy bear.
Put a chain around my your neck,
And lead me you anywhere.
Oh let me be
Your teddy bear.

Source: Reuters

Ordinary People

2005-05-24T15:23:00.000Z

Okay, so I’m a hippie, a hippie with a passion for music, I can live with that.

Time for another Tuesday tune, or rather tunes, turn up the volume and enjoy.

Btw does anyone know if he’s playing in the UK soon, his current tour doesn’t stop off here.

John Legend

"Used To Love U"
Windows Media / Real Audio / QuickTime

"Ordinary People”
Windows Media / Real Audio / QuickTime

Cool man

2005-05-23T11:50:00.000Z

Hippie
You are 28% Rational, 100% Extroverted, 28% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.

You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, and humility, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and love to all! You are probably either very spiritual or needlessly paranoid about "the man", like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You are also very, very social. And like any hippie, who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people, you too love to interact with others, even complete strangers. Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth. In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. And you listen to psychadelic rock and smoke a whole lot of pot. Okay, maybe not, but I wouldn't be surprised if you did.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Sociopath.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Televangelist, and the Robot.

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid

Play with Pinky!

2005-05-19T12:01:00.000Z

I just had to share

Bluemountain.com

Celebrity Love Island

2005-05-17T11:39:00.000Z

Whatever next ‘Celebrity Divorce Island’! In fact this would no doubt be more interesting to watch.

But what I find amusing is:

Celebrity
n
1: a widely known person. [syn: famous person]
2: the state or quality of being widely honored and acclaimed [syn: fame, renown]

I certainly didn’t know all the contestants, and I most definitely wouldn’t put them all in the category of being widely known, honored, or acclaimed.

Perhaps we need a new definition for celebrity:

1: An opportunist
2: A former TV/Sports personality
3: A person who shags a famous person (and sells out to the tabloids)
4: A person who used to be famous
5: Offspring of a famous person
6: A posh fit lady model
7: Anyone with an agent who books for reality TV

Have to hand it to Abi though; reports claim she’s being paid £100k to flirt with all the boys.

‘Celebrity’ contestants:

Abi Titmuss
Calum Best
Du'aine Ladejo
Fran Cosgrove
Jayne Middlemiss
Jude Shekoni
Lady Isabella Hervey
Lee Sharpe
Liz McClarnon
Michael Greco
Paul Denan

Old habits...

2005-05-16T18:46:00.000Z

I’m such a habitual creature, is it just me? I don’t even like routine, but throughout the course of one day, I can count at least ten things that I do everyday in more or less the same way.

the way I turn my alarm off in the morning
the way I get out of bed on the left side
the way I brush my teeth
the order of body parts washing in the shower (go on try this yourself, I bet you start with the same part each day and work your way down or up)
the way I dry my body after showering
the way I rub moisturiser on to my face/body ( again the order in which I do this)
the way I answer the telephone, what I say, tone of voice
the way I chop/slice vegetables
the way I read the newspaper, which sections I go to first
the way I get in to bed - when I’m alone ;-) (Because of course when I’m not alone I don’t get in to bed!

And this is just the stuff that I do at home; I expect the list could grow to twenty if I included things I do outside the home.

Times 10

2005-05-13T11:12:00.000Z

Have you ever had one of those days? Yeah, you have, so you know what I’m talking about.

Well times that by 10 and I’ve had one of those weeks, it’s been long and hard… not in a way that I appreciate!

Anyway the weekend is here and I expect to come back feeling refreshed on Monday, have a great weekend all.

Paris Hilton kills a racist

2005-05-09T12:31:00.000Z

This google text is not for human
consumption, paris hilton video and paris hilton nude and paris hilton naked in
this video we see her naked and rude she manages to look fit even when she's
watching a man die in this viral video of paris hilton video.

A guy thing

2005-05-06T10:00:00.000Z

Now I don’t tend to do a lot of these quizzes, but this one caught my eye.

Your Brain is
46.67% Female
53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female. You are both sensitive and savvy,rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed. But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

The gender of my brain is more male than female by a slim margin of 6%, I go with this.

It’s funny but a lot of my male friends have also commented on the maleness of my mind, in certain areas I just don’t think like a woman. Boyfriends have said they like the way my mind is feminine and sexy, yet ballsy at the same time.

I’ve even been complimented on how well I give directions, it’s true, no guy has ever gotten lost with my directions, I once mapped out a route with a few stop-offs from London to Milan, Italy, not a wrong turning, not one stupid argument.

There’s one area in particular where I know my mind is more male, or rather displays more of a male attitude, and this is sex.

Now I’m as romantic as can be with the right person, but I don’t need romance to have great sex. I’m as loving as can be with the right person, but I don’t need love to have great sex.

What I do need is to feel a strong physical and mental connection with a guy, the physical being of course a mutual attraction, and the mental connection because after all, the brain is the sexiest organ of the body.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that I don’t need love and romance, and to feel an emotional – spiritual connection with a guy, it’s just that I see these as a natural progression of an intimate relationship if I’m with the right guy.

What I’m saying is, as long as the attraction and mental connection is there, I find it very easy to let go and open up to a guy on a sexual level (no pun intended), without needing to be all emotional.

Another male attitude I have is I don’t tend to question where the relationship is going, I just let it naturally progress.

I know there are other areas too but I can’t quite put my finger on them, all I know is that boyfriends have said that I’m a bit of an enigma and I’m unpredictable, because I don’t react in a typical female way to certain situations.

And to cap it off what’s really interesting is I’m attracted to a certain type of guy and my experience to date has indicated that the type of guy I’m attracted to is attracted to my 53% male mind, and of course my 47% female mind, so I’m not changing a thing.

Sex blog

2005-05-05T11:10:00.000Z

I have to smile to myself. Looking at my Google referrals anyone would think my blog was entirely sex oriented:

"orgasmic girls"

"Kieran O'Brien" penis size

"Victoria Beckham" 32c

cock ejaculate electrode placement

bras mit professor nipples press
conference

The Herbaliser Sensual Women Lyrics

Well I guess I’ve been meaning to start a second blog which would be sex oriented, perhaps this is a sign.

One smart pussy

2005-05-04T13:21:00.000Z

It is not civilisation's biggest problem but, thanks to the ingenuity of a Sydney woman, a solution is in the can.

In January, Jo Lapidge bought her children, Ben and Sophie, a Burmese kitten. "We only had Doogal a week before I was regretting getting him," Mrs Lapidge said yesterday, recalling the smell of his litter tray and the work keeping it clean.

Then she saw the movie Meet the Fockers, featuring a cat trained to use its owner's toilet. "I thought, 'Right, I'm going to train my cat to use the toilet'."

There were plenty of potty training devices for children, but Mrs Lapidge could not find anything similar for cats. So, after two months of tinkering on 15 prototypes, she developed her first invention, Litter-Kwitter, a system of colour-coded rings.

The first step is to replace the litter tray with a red disc. Once the cat is doing its business in the middle, the disc is mounted on the toilet bowl.

When leaping onto the red disc has been mastered, it is replaced with an amber ring that has a small hole, getting kitty used to balancing over the water.

As progress is made, a green ring with a bigger hole is introduced. Finally, the rings are removed, leaving the cat to balance on the normal toilet seat.

There was little risk of drowning, Mrs Lapidge said: "Cats are very nimble."

She believed kittens could be trained in eight weeks. "Training Doogal was a lot easier than my son," she said.

Mrs Lapidge, who is seeking a manufacturer, is confident she has a commercial success, expecting her invention to sell for $80 to $140, compared with the $4000 needed for a litter tray over the course of a cat's life.

She has won a place in Fresh Innovators, a national campaign highlighting new inventors, but confesses Doogal can't flush.

Now if only we could get men to do the same thing…

Source: http://www.smh.com.au/

The sweetest kiss

2005-04-28T09:51:00.000Z

What a lovely story. When I lived in Paris I often walked past the spot where this picture was taken and wondered about the subjects.

I wonder if Françoise Bornet is secretly kicking herself now for not suggesting that she and her boyfriend got naked for the shot…

Politicians get plastered!

2005-04-27T08:36:00.000Z

Less than two weeks before an election, Prime Minister Tony Blair, Conservative leader Michael Howard and Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy have all been cast as knee-high plaster characters.

The trio are decked-out in their political party colours acting out their policies, said the digital television gardening channel, UKTV Style Gardens, who released the models.

"There is a gnome for every political persuasion. The exquisite Tony Blair model is digging around for non-existent weapons of mass destruction," a statement said.

"For those with an influx of snails and other garden beasties there is the scary Michael Howard gnome holding a "Keep Out" sign and for the more relaxed, there's a charming carrot-topped fellow sitting on a fence supping from a glass of ginger beer."

The channel has made only 10 sets of the political gnomes to be won in an online competition, but a spokesman said demand was strong and they were considering mass producing them.

Now I like to be a fair person so where are the gnomes for Caroline Lucas and Keith Taylor, and Roger Knapman, and Robert Kilroy-Silk?

So in keeping with the theme of the gnomes acting out their policies, any ideas anyone?

Now I’m not expecting you to run off and make a gnome, take a photo and send it to me, no, just give me some action… if you see what I mean.

Tuesday Tune

2005-04-26T09:59:00.000Z

1 Thing - Amerie

Now if you like a bit of R&B and damn fine sexy booty then check this young lady out. Amerie is 25 years old and a perfect blend of Korean and African-American.

While living in Washington, D.C., she met producer Rich Harrison, who worked with such performers as Mary J. Blige, and began developing demos with him, the rest is history.

Be warned peoples, she’s not for the faint hearted.

Windows Media Player:

56k

300k - this one should do the trick for most broadband users

450k

Quicktime

Real

Damn fine.

CD single released in the UK 23rd May 05

Official site

Go on shake your thong, I mean thang!

Wok and Roll!

2005-04-25T11:06:00.000Z

I was going through my shopping bill the other day when it occurred to me that it costs me £1.74 a week to wipe my arse and £45.76 a week to create the need to wipe my arse…

Hmm, anyone know of any good recipes for toilet roll?

Double trouble

2005-04-22T10:39:00.000Z

Do you ever have those moments when your mouth just works way too fast for your brain?

You see I was at the gym last night and I forgot to take my mp3 player with me, I ALWAYS take my player with me because I NEED music to keep me going otherwise I start to lose my concentration, and start wondering around with this vacant look on my face.

Anyway I forgot my player, damn!

So there I was on the rowing machine and wasn’t really putting a lot of effort in to it because I didn’t have my tunes see. Then out of the blue this guy on the rower next to me leant over and said:

“Has anyone ever told you that you look like Halle Berry, I swear you could be her double?”

Now I’m not concentrating and I certainly wasn’t expecting that, so what do you think I said in response? Nope you won’t guess.

I smiled and said:

“Thanks, but I don’t really see it myself, I think it’s just that we have the same colouring and hairstyle, buy hey I wouldn’t mind shagging her ex.”

Yep! No brain to mouth involved there.

I continued the mumble something about how good looking Eric Benet is, then thanked him for the compliment again, and practically ran off to find a cross-trainer.

Now the fact is that I do think Eric Benet is gorgeous, sexy, mouth watering, but did I have to share this with this guy right there and then.

My problem is that all too often I don’t really respond differently to a guy than I would to a girl. If a girl had been rowing next to me and leant over and said the same thing I would have responded the same way. It’s just my humour; I wasn’t attracted to the guy.

Monty’s post yesterday got me thinking about flirting, because you see I don’t view what I do as flirting, I just see it as me being me, open and direct, and my sense of humour is of the naughty kind, I just can’t help it.

It gets me in to trouble though.

P.S. Mind you I wouldn’t mind dressing up as cat woman

WMD

2005-04-21T18:51:00.000Z

Want some fun?

Lip Service!

2005-04-20T12:35:00.000Z

Late one evening last week I turned on the TV and saw a ‘designer vagina’ live operation being performed (well it was L.A.) by genital guru Dr. Matlock

Lori’s vagina had been *damaged by childbirth, (* in other words the vaginal wall muscles weren’t as tight as they used to be), and Lori and her husband hoped that the surgery would give her back her pre-birth vagina and improve her orgasm ability. She also opted for some flesh removal to give her vagina that Penthouse look.

I was stunned. Women have been giving birth since the year dot, and trust me this is a very long time. After child-birth although it only takes 6 weeks for the uterus to return to its pre-pregnancy size, it can take anything from 4 to 12 months for the vagina to regain its former size and over-all shape, everywoman is different.

However women can help this process along by doing vaginal exercises, yes this takes longer than 3 hour surgery, but there are no risks involved, the exercises can be done anytime, and it is these exercises that will improve both orgasm ability and orgasm intensity, not surgery.

Unfortunately I think women have the designer vagina op more for their husbands, partners, or careers than they do for themselves. The surgery does make the vagina tighter and so this does of course feel good for the guy, but for the woman it’s the exercising that makes the difference.

As for the removal of fleshy bits this is purely aesthetic and intended for the eye of the beholder, oh what beauty!

Another point to mention is that after several years of marriage and a few babies, foreplay goes out the window. However foreplay is vital; through foreplay the vaginal walls become engorged with blood and the texture and sensitivity of the G-Spot changes.

This female sexual response to foreplay actually makes the vagina feel tighter, firmer for the guy, and very sensitive for the woman. Again everywoman is different, some need 10 minutes some need 20, maybe more, while others need just 5!

Having said all this I can appreciate that many women need some sort of medical procedure or surgery in cases of incontinence, or a prolapsed uterus and/or bladder, but not a designer vagina.

Sadly many more women will choose the quick fix solution and merely end up with tighter vaginas not a better sex life for themselves.

Resources:

Kegel Pro / Pelvic Toner / Ben Wa Balls / Smart Balls

P.S. I wear my Smart Balls while at the gym, takes my workout to a whole new level!

P.P.S. You don’t need to have given birth to do these exercises.

Quote quiz

2005-04-18T11:37:00.000Z

Okay I decided on a bit of fun to start the week and being a movie lover I’ve put together a list of quotes from some of my favourite movies, made by the lead actress.

Simply match the quotes a – r, to the correct answer 1 – 18. I'll let you know if you're right or not in comments.

So answers in comments please and Enjoy!

Quotes:

a. “Do you find me undesirable?”

b. “Well, I'm willing to be overcharged. Tell me.”

c. “We're alike, me and cat. A couple of poor nameless slobs.”

d. “Fasten your seatbelts; it's going to be a bumpy night!”

e. “Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth...”

f. “How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?”

g. “Yes. It's all about civilization or something. A nutty kind of a book. Do you know that the guy says that machinery is going to take the place of every profession?”

h. “Come on in, and try not to ruin everything by being you.”

i. “Most women use more brains picking a horse in the third at Belmont than they do picking a husband.”

j. “You look stupid and rich.”

k. “I need to believe, that something extraordinary is possible.”

l. “If I let you change me, will that do it? If I do what you tell me, will you love me?”

m. “They're called boobs, Ed.”

n. “Nothing. Its just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it, so you do the math.”

o. “I never discuss love on an empty stomach.”

p. “I want it all quickly 'cause I don't want God to stop and think and wonder if I'm getting more than my share.”

q. “Any time you got nothin' to do and lots of time to do it, come up.”

r. “You're not very smart are you; I like that in a man.”

Answers:

1 A Beautiful Mind - Jennifer Connelly

2 All About Eve - Bette Davis

3 As Good As It Gets - Helen Hunt

4 Body Heat - Kathleen Turner

5 Breakfast at Tiffany’s - Audrey Hepburn

6 Casablanca - Ingrid Bergman

7 Dinner at Eight - Jean Harlow

8 Erin Brockovich - Julia Roberts

9 Graduate - Anne Bancroft

10 How to Marry a Millionaire - Lauren Bacall

11 Jurassic Park - Laura Dern

12 Love Story - Ali MacGraw

13 My Little Chickadee - Mae West

14 National Velvet - Elizabeth Taylor

15 North by Northwest - Eva Marie Saint

16 Vertigo - Kim Novak

17 When Harry Met Sally - Meg Ryan

18 Wizard of Oz - Judy Garland

Travelling light!

2005-04-16T15:47:00.000Z

I deserve a gold star.

I relinquished my Saturday morning lie in to take a friend to the airport, but this is not all.

My friend hasn’t flown a distance for some years, and as we loaded up my car with two suitcases, a suit carrier, and a carry-on, I said nothing but I had my concerns.

He’s off to Dubai to try out a business venture so he needed to pack suits as well a leisure wear. Unfortunately he’d left it until the last minute to pack, got stressed about what to take, and obviously decided to take everything.

We made good time and arrived early.

Of course on checking in my friend was told that he had excess baggage; the allowance was 27 Kilos and he had 37 Kilos - did he not check his ticket? He was told the excess would cost £20 per Kilo.

Now you have to understand my friend was already quite stressed about the whole trip; never been to Dubai, trying something new etc. This news just didn’t help.

He was told that he could send one of the suitcases separately as cargo and this would take 10 days. This just caused him more stress.

I decided that the best option was to re-pack and I’d take one suitcase back with me. On suggesting this I noticed a few beads of perspiration form on his brow, so I piped up “Come on, lets find some seats open everything up and I’ll help you re-pack.”

So off we trundled to a quiet area and set about the task at hand.

I have to say I was ruthless; well he’d clearly packed way too much in the first place for one month away.

At some point I just cracked up due to my inherent ability to see the funny side of everything, but also because, and I’m not one to exaggerate, I counted thirty-two t-shirts, ten suits, thirty pairs of socks, thirty shirts, twelve trousers, I lost count with the underwear, and then stopped counting.

His idea was that he wouldn’t have to wash anything while he was away. But he took it in good spirit when I pointed out that Dubai is in a developed part of the world and will have such things as dry cleaners and launderettes.

I was so ruthless that he ended up having 7 Kilos to spare, so I cheekily told him that he could bring me something back weighing 7 Kilos.

Male Intuition

2005-04-15T14:56:00.000Z

According to a study men are as intuitive as women, if not more. The article states:

Men seemed to be better than women at detecting fake smiles in the opposite sex. Men correctly detected 76 percent of fake female smiles whereas women detected just 67 percent of men's fake smiles.

Of course it could also be viewed that men are simply better at being insincere.

But riddle me this. If men are as intuitive as women then why can they never intuit the following:

1 When a woman wants to have sex
2 When a woman doesn’t want to have sex
3 When a woman is pre-menstrual
4 When a woman is feeling unloved
5 When a woman doesn’t want to hear about his crap day a work
6 When a woman wants to tell him about her crap day at work
7 When a woman needs cheering up
8 When a woman just wants cuddles
9 When a woman is feeling playful
10 When a woman wants to be alone

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not a man basher, I’ve just never come across an intuitive one. But hey, I can always be optimistic.

Policies

2005-04-14T14:07:00.000Z

Okay I’m not normally one to do political posts as such but I was inspired by a visit to Casino Avenue.

Besides this isn’t really a political post in fact it’s quite fun:

And for more political fun click here, oh and this is good too.

Personally I think they're all shite.

One for the boys

2005-04-13T10:39:00.000Z

I didn’t want you boys to feel left out.

So, if you had to choose just one who would it be, Heidi or Eva?

One for the girls

2005-04-12T14:39:00.000Z

Okay! Given a choice and bearing in mind that you can only choose one, no going back, who would you choose?

Personally for me, Enrique, and it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s 12 years younger, and everything to do with the dark, intense, Latin looks.

But I don’t want to sway your decision, so which one, Brad or Enrique?

Royal Wedding Cam

2005-04-09T13:06:00.000Z

Well just in case you’re interested…

http://www.royalweddingcam.com/?page=1

Yeah, thought not, I'm off to wash my hair.

In other news…

I was in Covent Garden yesterday for a haircut and the place was packed with Italians, I thought this was quite funny considering… but I’m not complaining.

I had my radar highly tuned, and I have to say there is something about Italian guys with dark features…

Excuse me while I dab my lips…

No Groping

2005-04-07T13:57:00.000Z

Has it really come to this?

I’ve never been to Tokyo, but I’ve lived in some of the worlds other major cities and used the subway, tube, or metro daily during rush hours, and I never been molested. I have numerous girlfriends and they have never been molested.

Now I’m not saying it doesn’t happen as obviously it does, but is this the best solution? It seems to me that this doesn’t solve the underlying problem.

I totally agree with the points raised in the rant ‘n’ rave article. A better solution and one that would deal with the problem would be to install cameras, and have some system in place where by if a female is molested she can report it at the next station. The incident could be investigated and then the offender could be issued with a fine, and in severe cases taken to court.

Something similar to NYs guardian angels would also act as a deterrent.

The current solution just doesn’t address the problem.

Audio pleasure...

2005-04-06T14:04:00.000Z

I have a passion for music and in particular I love unusual music from around the world, so when I stumbled across http://www.theselector.org/ I decided to linger for a while.

The aim of the site is very simple; to bring together a community of creative selectors, and to share this creativity.

The site has about 22 selectors now and each individual brings such an interesting flavour to the table.

I stop by each day for my daily bite of audio pleasure.

The site owner is Jessica and it’s her birthday today and I’d just like to say happy birthday Jessica and dedicate a song:

Artist: A Million Sons
Listen: Misti Blu
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Marriage

2005-04-05T12:18:00.000Z

Marriage (Part I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules, any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:

‘Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.’”

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:

‘Here Lies My Husband Stiff at Last.’”

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says,

"And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After sometime he realises he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

He responds "In bed this early, doing what?"

She says, "Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back,

"Anytime you're ready, Father of four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

Marriage (Part V)

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly the man realised that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,

- Please wake me at 5:00 AM -

He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woke him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said,

- It is 5:00 AM. Wake up! -

(Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.)

God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece!

I know bit of an odd post after yesterday’s romance, but its all in good spirit.

School of Romance

2005-04-04T17:09:00.000Z

Extract from Devil in a Kilt, by Sue-Ellen Welfonder

Flickering light from the campfire played upon finely honed muscles that rippled with each move he made as he bent to aid his squire in removing the rest of his garb. Not even Ranald’s fearsome build matched Duncan MacKenzie’s.

Her heart sprang back to life, leaping to her throat as he rolled a pair of thin woollen braies down his muscular legs. Faith, even his buttocks appeared fierce and proud! Linnet wet her lips and gulped, hoping to ease the sudden dryness in her mouth.

She’d seen every one of her eight brothers and a goodly number of her cousins unclothed. But nary a one had looked as intimidating as the giant who stood across the fire from her.

Spicy, racy, romantic fiction depicting wild, powerful, herculean heroes and passionate, insatiable heroines is big in America accounting for $1.4 billion in the romance market, and apparently Scottish historical romances are the most popular.

I think most women love a good romance story, romantic fiction is filled with fantasy, melodrama, charm, glamour, risk, mystery, nostalgia, adventure, and fairy-tale love.

But what of romance in the real world, I have had conversations in the past with a few of my male buddies on the subject of romance, and it seemed to me that the female/male perception of romance is very different.

Guys seem to think that the kind of romance women want is not doable unless the guy has lots of money, i.e. whisking us off for a weekend to Florence and staying in a 5 star hotel. Well yes obviously this sort of romance needs money, and if you just happen to be courting Paris Hilton, then hey.

However most women are just as happy with small romantic gestures on a regular basis; flowers, perfume, or just some silly little personal item that says ‘Hey, I was thinking of you today.’ This sort of romance is preferable to none at all.

Then again many guys are just not good at doing romance; they feel inadequate in this area, they simply don’t get what romance is. I’ve often thought that a ‘School of Romance’ would be a good idea.

Oh no, I feel a reality TV idea coming on… with ‘School of Romance’ as the title. Take 10 of the most unromantic guys and… well you can guess the rest.

Smooth Operator…

2005-04-01T11:56:00.000Z

Now I appreciate it’s not unusual to see female commuters applying their make-up while sat on a train/tube on their way to work, some even manage such a ritual while driving. But as I was travelling by train to Waterloo yesterday morning I saw a guy shaving!

I was sat there and I could hear this vibrating sound… getting slightly excited I looked up and there was this guy with a portable shaver, sharing a part his habitual ablutions.

I have to say I found it hard not to stare, but then I thought anyone who’s going to shave in public can deal with the looks… and may even quite like it.

I remember exchanging a silent laugh with another female traveller; we both thought it was quite odd to witness.

The funny thing is it took him such a long time, I’m not exaggerating he sat there for 10 minutes, tracing the action of the shaver with his fingers until he felt sufficiently smooth. Surely it would have taken less time to wet shave in the privacy of his bathroom.

I guess I should be thankful for small mercies… he wasn’t a back, sac, and crack guy!

Kiss & Tell

2005-03-31T09:44:00.000Z

Over the languid Easter break I read a few articles on the art of kissing; what makes a good kisser.

I read that kissing technique and style is very important because when we meet a new potential partner/lover, the first kiss is often a determining factor as to whether or not we decide to get naked with that person. Simply put, we judge a persons sexual compatibility by how they kiss.

Personally speaking I know that I do this, but I’ve only been aware of it since the age of 30, before this, it was a subconscious thing.

It makes perfectly good sense. If a guy kisses me and I’m not enjoying his style and I’m not connecting with him as a kisser then it’s very likely that we won’t connect sexually. In the past when I have ignored my instincts, the sex has always been bad for me even though the guy enjoyed it.

My top 5 non-starter kissing styles are:

Face kisser: this is when the kisser attempts to devour your entire face, as well as being very off-putting it is extremely dangerous!

Doggie style kisser: need I say more… slurp! Definitely not Woof!

Deep throat kisser: the kisser seeks to get intimately acquainted with your tonsils

Toothy kisser: I’m not quite sure how to describe this, but the kisser never quite manages to get their teeth out of the way, the lips are parted in a sort of manic grin style à la Jack Nicholson in ‘The Shining’

Nipper kisser: you know what it feels like to have a dog nipping at your ankles, well this is what a nipper kisser does but to your lips, using just their lips, as if they were trying to nip at some remnants of food

So I’m just wandering if you guys realise that this is how you decide whether to get intimate or not, and if you do realise, what type of kissing puts you off?

Oh, and have you noticed that 75% of kissers lean their faces to the right when going in for a kiss. You’ll have to become a bit of a voyeur to check this out!

Alternative Easter Bunny (Girl)

2005-03-25T10:06:00.000Z

Happy Easter!

I was going to post a sweet Easter bunny, but then I thought me sweet! No, I’m a naughty bunny.

“I’m not bad; I’m just drawn that way.”

Clever Clocky!

2005-03-24T10:42:00.000Z

Well a snoring partner causing sleep depravation is the least of my worries, but this timely invention has me concerned.

Scientists at MIT's Media Lab in Cambridge, Massachusetts, US, have invented an alarm clock called Clocky, an evil little thing.

After the snooze button is pressed, the clock, which is equipped with a set of wheels, rolls off the table to another part of the room.

"When the alarm sounds again, simply finding Clocky ought to be strenuous enough to prevent even the doziest owner from going back to sleep," New Scientist said on Tuesday.

I think this is outrageous and think all snoozers should unite.

If a friend should ever think it funny to buy you a clever Clocky as a gift you do have a few defense options:

Apply a liberal layer of extra sticky honey to Clocky’s wheels upon retiring

Ply Clocky with alcohol to ensure a hangover

Install your bedside table with a miniature traffic light constantly set to red

If you’re skilled at engineering build Clocky a handbrake

Jack Clocky up and remove its wheels

Other suggestions welcome!

Sweet dreams…

2005-03-23T14:12:00.000Z

According to a study many women lose 5 hours sleep a week due to snoring partners.

Although I’ve been lucky in the taste stakes I haven’t fared so well with the snoring, but I’ve never lost sleep over it.

Apparently a lot of women are too meek to interrupt their snoring partners slumber, whereas men have no qualms in prodding and waking a female partner who snores.

Personally I’m a nudging type. It has been well documented that men tend to snore when they sleep lying on their backs. I have found this to be true, if a partner snores I will gently nudge him over on to his side, the snoring stops immediately.

Of course if this fails then I can highly recommend soft ear plugs, especially if your partners’ snoring is showing up on the Richter Scale.

Wanted: Opinionated females

2005-03-21T10:36:00.000Z

Whatever next!

Alpha females are just too smart to marry. Men have better aptitude than women for science and math. Now we have bleating in the media that women don’t do opinionated.

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SUBJECT TO DEBATE by Katha Pollitt

Women don't shout. Women don't like politics. Women shrink from intellectual debate. Women don't try. It's time for another round of "What's Wrong with Women?" Last month's category was science. This month it's punditry, sparked by a testy (well, nasty) letter from syndicated columnist and FOX-TV commentator Susan Estrich to Michael Kinsley, the courtly editorial and opinion editor of the Los Angeles Times, pointing out the lack of female talent on his op-ed pages: In nine weeks, only 20 percent of pieces were written by women. Now everybody's jumping in: "Feminists Get Hysterical" (Heather MacDonald in City Journal) is a typical sentiment.

"There ought to be more women on op-ed pages in general. Over time, I intend to make that happen," said Fred Hiatt, editorial page editor of the Washington Post, which counts one woman, Anne Applebaum, among its nineteen pundits; in the first two months of 2005 one in ten op-ed pieces were by women. Take your time, Mr. Hiatt! As Applebaum warns, you don't want to hire untalented women who'll just write about "women's issues." Her friends got their bylines by "having clear views, knowing their subjects, writing well and learning to ignore the ad hominem attacks that go with the job." And you know how few women meet those lofty criteria! "The pool of available people doing opinion writing is still tilted toward men," said New York Times editorial page editor Gail Collins. "There are probably fewer women, in the great cosmic scheme of things, who feel comfortable writing very straight opinion stuff, and they're less comfortable hearing something on the news and batting something out." Come April, the Times will have seven male op-ed columnists, plus Maureen Dowd. Not to worry though, Dowd writes, there are "plenty of brilliant women.... We just need to find and nurture them."

Oh, nurture my eye. It may be true that more men than women like to bloviate and "bat things out"--socialization does count for something. So do social rewards: I have seen men advance professionally on levels of aggression, self-promotion and hostility that would have a woman carted off to a loony bin--unless, of course, she happens to be Ann Coulter. But feminine psychology doesn't explain why all five of USA Today's political columnists are male, or why Time's eleven columnists are male--down to the four in Arts and Entertainment--or why at Newsweek it's one out of six in print and two out of thirteen on the Web. According to Editor and Publisher, the proportion of female syndicated columnists (one in four) hasn't budged since 1999. The tiny universe of political-opinion writers includes plenty of women who hold their own with men, who do not wilt at the prospect of an angry e-mail, who have written cover stories and bestsellers and won prizes--and whose phone numbers are likely already in the Rolodexes of the editors who wonder where the women are. How hard could it be to "find" Barbara Ehrenreich, who filled in for Thomas Friedman for one month last summer and wrote nine of the best columns the Times has seen in a decade? Or Dahlia Lithwick, legal correspondent for Slate, another Friedman fill-in, who actually possesses a deep grasp of the field she covers--which cannot always be said for John Tierney, who begins his Times column in April? What about Susan Faludi? The Village Voice's Sharon Lerner? Debra Dickerson? Wendy Kaminer? The Progressive's Ruth Conniff? Laura Flanders? Debbie Nathan? Ruth Rosen, veteran of the LA Times and the San Francisco Chronicle? Our own Patricia Williams and Naomi Klein? Natalie Angier, bestselling author and top New York Times science writer, would be a fabulous op-ed columnist. And, not to be one of those shrinking violets everyone's suddenly so down on, What about me? Am I a potted plant?

You'll note I've mostly named liberals and feminists--I'm sure there are good women writers on the right out there, too, and their job prospects are probably a lot rosier. A conservative woman who endlessly attacks feminists, like The New Yorker's Caitlin Flanagan or the Los Angeles Times's departed Norah Vincent or the Boston Globe's Cathy Young--what could be hotter than that?

Besides being false and insulting, all this fuss about women not having the cojones for no-holds-barred debate overlooks the fact that, as Deborah Tannen pointed out in the LA Times, there are many ways to write political commentary. Not every male columnist is a fire-breather, an instant expert, a tub-thumper, an obnox. Think of the Washington Post's E.J. Dionne Jr. or USA Today's Walter Shapiro, both mannerly and sweet-natured to a fault. Some columnists use their perch to do crusading reporting--Bob Herbert's great strength--to tell stories, to analyze ideas and policies, to ask questions, to skewer received opinion with wit and humor. And then there are the ones who just drone boringly on. Surely there are women
capable of that!

That opinion writing is a kind of testosterone-powered food fight is a popular idea in the blogosphere. Male bloggers are always wondering where the women are and why women can't/don't/won't throw bananas. After all, anyone can have a blog, right? In the wake of the Estrich-Kinsley contretemps, the Washington Monthly blogger Kevin Drum mused upon the absence of women bloggers and got a major earful from women bloggers, who are understandably sick of hearing that they don't exist. "I'm staring you right in the face, Kevin," wrote Avedon Carol (sideshow.me.uk), "and even though you've said you read me every day you don't have me on your blogroll. It's things like this that make me tear out my hair when people wonder why women are underrepresented...." There are actually lots of women political bloggers out there--spend half an hour reading them and you will never again say women aren't as argumentative as men! But what makes a blog visible is links, and male bloggers tend not to link to women (to his credit, Kevin Drum has added nineteen to his blogroll). Perhaps they sense it might interfere with the circle jerk in cyberspace--the endless mutual self-infatuation that is one of the less attractive aspects of the blogging phenom.

Or maybe, like so many op-ed editors, they just don't see women, even when the women are right in front of them.

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Sometimes I really do feel like banging someone else’s head against a wall, simply because they just don’t get the obvious.

To say that women don’t do opinionated, well it’s like saying the Pope doesn’t pray!

Of course women do opinionated but in general men in media don’t really get how women do opinionated.

All too often a man tends to write an opinion piece from an ego point of view, regardless of the facts. A woman on the other hand tends to write an opinion piece from an informed point of view.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that male op-ed columnists don’t know the facts; it’s just that they don’t always use them. Put a bunch of guys together and watch them debate, I can promise you, you won’t hear many facts flying around, but you’ll most definitely see feathers flying as they coo and plump up their chests.

Put a bunch of women together and you will witness an informed discussion, women don’t form opinions based on ego, and in general they don’t debate with aggression, so facts are all they have, but facts are vital in forming an opinion.

I totally agree with Katha Pollitt; unless female op-ed columnists write in an aggressive, ego driven, shout it from the rooftops kind of way, they don’t cause much of a blip on the radar.

Related article
The Feminine Technique

Investing is like Sex!

2005-03-18T11:13:00.000Z

Top 10 Reasons why Investing is Like Sex...

Some like it long, some like it short.

You can study the market as much as you like, but it all comes down to luck.

Those who talk about it the most, have the least experience.

One simple mistake could lead to 18 unprofitable years.

Some prefer to sit back and watch it grow.

Terms include swing trading, asset turnover, naked call, after hours, insider trading, silent partner, blind entries, 30-day wash rule, straddle, triangles, descending tops, ascending bottoms, pump and dump, partial surrender, stop order, position limit, voluntary liquidation, and explicit interest.

Low confidence can keep you out of the market.

Everyone tends to focus on performance.

Some do it alone, others do it with a group, and some hire professionals.

Some positions are better than others and the best position is always up for debate!

And remember past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.

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And for all you funsters out there the next Cake London 'Eros' is happening on Thursday 24th… take a big bite!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

2005-03-17T11:18:00.000Z

I give you a poem by W. B. Yeats

Aedh Wishes For The Clothes Of Heaven

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

Sunshine's Better

2005-03-16T15:00:00.000Z

It makes such a difference to ones frame of mind when the Sun is out don’t you think. Anyway today is beautiful and touching 17˚C so I thought I’d share another of my favourite tracks along with the lyrics.

I have an equal passion for words and music so I hope you don’t mind me sharing my indulgence. I especially love good lyrics that tell a story. Enjoy!

Sunshine’s Better - Talvin Singh Remix from Café Del Mar Vol. 4
Artist - John Martyn

If I call you sugar, if you call me honey,
Does this mean you've got a hand in my fate.
If you take my money, if I take your liberty,
Does it mean it's all down to love and hate.
If you open doors for me, I'll have the manners to respond;
I'll treat you like mine.
Ah babe, ah baby.

Sunshine's better on the other side,
Sunshine's better when you make it shine,
The sun shines better.
Sunshine's better on the other side,
The other side of the hill;
The sun shines better.

If I call you lover and if you call me daddy,
Does it mean that we're in love?
If you give me all your hate,
Open up the garden gate,
Does that mean we're in love.

Tell me sugar, call me honey,
Come on darling, I'll just take all my money.
We can run away naked with the flames of desire.
Running through water like birds on fire,
Like birds of a feather...

I tell you, sunshine's better on the other side,
The other side of the stream.
Let's run in tonight - let's run in tonight.
The sunshine's better on the other side of the fence;
Come on darling, let's jump in tonight,
Let's jump in tonight.

Sunshine's better on the other side,
Sunshine's better every time you make that smile of yours reappear.
You chorkle, chuckle, giggle, mumble and
Swing like a bitch,
'Til the day is done - that's what you do.
You can giggle and laugh, make yourself happy,
'Til the day is done, remember.

Sunshine's better on the other side, other side of the hill,
We're going to get there, come on, come on,
Skinny dip, skinny dip, skinny dip, skinny dip.
Skinny dipping around the scene,
Way down by the river,
Sunshine's better on the other side.

They tell me that the sunshine's better on the other side;
Better than this side, you know.
The sunshine's better over there, better over there, better over there.

Sunshine's better;
Sunshine's better on the other side.
Sunshine's better.
Sunshine's better on the other side, the other side of the hill.
Lord, you know where the grass is green,
Oh lord, greener than you've ever seen.

Sunshine's better on the other side
On the other side... 1)
Sunshine's better on the other side,
Sunshine's better, don't you dare to go and hide from me now...

If I call you sugar, would you dare to call me honey?
If I tell you that I love you, would you take all my money.
We could run naked, naked through the fire;
Through the water, through the ice, through the sun,
Through the jungle, through the desert sands.
On the road, down and around the swings, roundabouts.

Sunshine's better on the other side,
Sunshine's better than you've ever seen before in your life.
I'm telling you how I know:
I've been there,
I've been there and gone,
Been there, been there and gone.
Been there.

Where's my wife?

2005-03-15T18:28:00.000Z

I’ve read a few articles recently about an upcoming experiment, The Week The Women Went. The village of Harby in Nottinghamshire is to have its womenfolk packed off to a hotel for seven nights to see how their men cope without them.

At first I thought well what is the point, in general most people will agree that men are not as good at multi tasking as women are; balancing job, home, and kids.

On closer inspection I don’t think this is really the only motive for the experiment, I think there is a broader element.

Over the last 50 years women in Western Europe and developed countries have ventured in to the work arena, but at the same time they have continued to play a role at home and in their immediate environment, and particularly in small villages such as Harby, women realise the importance of being involved in the local community.

Harby is a village of around 240 adult inhabitants, 80 of the 119 women will leave their men for one week to see how they cope. From what I can make out, it’s more a case of seeing whether or not the men rise to the challenge by getting involved not just at home but also within the community. Of course with 80 women gone this community will be largely made up of other men in the same situation, but I think this is intentional and should be seen as an opportunity.

Series producer Kelly Webb-Lamb says of the project:

"The series aims to go beyond dated clichés like will he burn the beans? Can he change nappies? We want to see what men do differently. Of course there's an element of fun here and it will be a fascinating experiment, but if we didn't feel the community as a whole would learn something of value from their experience and look at their lives differently afterwards, we wouldn't be doing it."

As a Londoner looking in I think it will be an interesting experiment and it should be rewarding for both the women and the men. So I was surprised to read about the uproar it is causing. So much so, that the local parish council is to hold a meeting to gauge the strength of opposition to the production.

I had to laugh, the village is divided, and of course it’s mainly the men who are opposed. Seems like typical male village mentality; don’t do anything to upset the status quo, we’d like things to stay just the way they are, it’s bad enough what with women going off to work.

Well I hope the production goes ahead, but I have to say I’m very happy to be a London gal.

Lads of leisure...

2005-03-14T21:04:00.000Z

What fun I had reading the papers over the weekend; the past few weeks has seen the media sprinkled with articles about Alpha Females and their lack of marriage offers, all to do with Neanderthal types not seeking to marry intelligent, high IQ, career oriented, clever women.

Then before you can say inequality sucks, behold the new new man. He is not afraid of marrying the Alpha Female; in fact he may have hunted her down and dragged her back to his cave for a game of chess.

While Alpha Female is out bringing home £1m plus a year, new new man is out doing lunch with his fellow new new men.

I say, and why not, and about time too.

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Lads who lunch
John-Paul Flintoff

A new group of men who are kept by high-flying wives is emerging. They are pioneers — no less public-spirited than the early feminists

One of London’s fashionable restaurants, any day of the week; four married men sit at a corner table ogling waitresses and washing down food with the most expensive wines. If they do not seem in a hurry to get back to the office, that’s because they are not.

These men used to hold high-powered jobs that brought them to these same restaurants to entertain clients. But there was no point in working any more — because their wives earned more than enough to support them.

Now they have lunch with each other, daydreaming like children about new lives as inventors, explorers and sportsmen. Unlike children, though, they have the means to make some of those dreams come true. This group recently went truffle-hunting in Italy. Another time they went heli-skiing. Not content with merely going to the gym, they became triathletes.

Whatever else the great feminist pioneers intended, you can be sure that it was not this. But for an increasing number of women — the ones who have benefited most from social reform, with the most lucrative and powerful jobs — this more or less describes the life of a modern husband.

You have heard of the ladies who lunch. Now there are the lads who lunch.

The advent of this seemingly blessed type can partly be explained by the modern economy. Job security is a thing of the past and layoffs happen all the time.

Additionally, with more women getting degrees, including MBAs and doctorates, the number of households in which the woman earns more than the man has increased dramatically. Most households need both incomes. But not if the wife is a seriously high earner. In those households, when the husband gets the chance to drop out he grabs it.

“My wife wasn’t wealthy when we married,” said James Millett, formerly in publishing. “She was penniless. But there came a time when there was no way I could compare my income with hers.”

His wife works for an investment bank. Her annual bonus alone eclipsed his salary. So he resigned.

“And here I am,” he said, “wandering around my estate surrounded by servants, living the life of a new rural squire. Forget the 35-hour week, I’m on a 35-hour year.”

Others have made similar moves. There is the civil servant from the Foreign Office, whose wife brings home more than £1m a year as partner in an international law firm: he gave up work to listen to Deep Purple records and play cricket.

Or there is the financial analyst, also married to a lawyer, who set up as a day trader after he was made redundant and refused to look after the children. Not even in emergencies. Or there is the broker, married to an heiress, who packed it in to live in tax exile.

Or there is the man whose wife is a headhunter, who did nothing for weeks except to lunch and play golf — until he found idleness itself was burdensome. “You need status,” he explained. “At dinner parties you need an answer to the question, ‘What do you do?’ ” His solution was to trade wine. He earns about £25,000, which barely pays for the childcare and his season ticket on the train. He goes home and does not have to think about work. He can sit and watch television and have a drink. His wife, by contrast, continues to work at home in the evenings and at weekends.

Perhaps understandably, these men prefer not to discuss their arrangements publicly. “I’m not sure about being named in the paper,” said one. “I’m not sure that I want to be . . . you know. But I’ll talk to you if you don’t use my real name.”

Despite the bravado, some of these men have a big psychological problem with their situation. “It’s very sensitive,” said Fiona O’Sullivan, the headhunter whose husband trades wine. “You could probably get more people to talk to you on the record about how often they have sex.”

It is important to emphasise that this is a new phenomenon. Sociologists, if they have started their research, have yet to publish any papers on the lads who lunch. But if you examine the latest reports from the Office for National Statistics, a picture emerges to support the anecdotal evidence. These show, for instance, that more men now “work at home” than women: 14% of men, compared with only 8% of women. And plentiful research shows that working at home permits greater leisure time.

More telling, Trish McOrmond of the Office for National Statistics said that women who give up full-time jobs to work part-time do so because they want to spend more time with their children. Men go part-time because they can afford to and much less frequently mention children as a motivating factor. For men, it seems, the lure is indolence.

Millett does not altogether disagree. “Behind every great woman is a great man,” he joked. “Because even if we don’t do the housework and the cooking, we can hire and fire the people who do.”

One recent study showed that the likelihood of divorce is higher than average when women earn 51% to 75% of the family income, but that, for reasons nobody entirely understands, when women earn more than 75% the divorce rate decreases.

How can that be? Here is one possibility. The business magazine Fortune reported in 2003 that 30% of its “most powerful women in business” had a stay-at-home spouse. They included Anne Mulcahy, chairman and chief executive of Xerox, and Carly Fiorina, then chairman and chief executive of Hewlett-Packard.

Fortune also described the husband of Anne Stevens, Ford’s group vice-president Canada, Mexico and South America. He “tends the gardens, runs errands, manages the social calendar and . . . makes a killer beef wellington”. In the evenings he “would love some scintillating conversation, but he usually lets Anne flop in front of Wheel of Fortune and fall asleep”.

Until recently few British men would have gone public about such a feminised existence. But a survey has shown that similar men exist here, too. Future Laboratory, a consumer forecasting consultancy, was commissioned by a dating agency to interview more than 2,500 people aged between 20 and 45. It found that British women are looking for a “new type of man who is compliant, does the housework, is considerate in bed and will cut his career to tend the children”.

Martin Raymond, a director at Future Laboratory, has a name for such a man: the Stepford husband.

“They feel their role is to keep their partner or wife happy,” he said. “They tended to be bankrolled (by their wives) but did not feel it questioned their masculinity. And the women did not want someone whose career competed with their own.”

Examples of the type pop up all the time. One of the latest is Derek Gadd, reported to have put his own career to one side so that his wife Ruth Kelly, the education secretary, could make a success of her life in politics.

On the face of it there would seem to be a massive difference between Stepford husbands and the lads who lunch. But if you look closely you sometimes find they describe the same individuals — men who struggle to manage the changing imperatives of manhood, who give up work with the best intentions but find it difficult to keep to their high ideals.

Men, in short, like Harry Bell. A 35-year-old graphic designer whose wife, a financial analyst, earned much more than him, Bell left his job to do the childcare after their son was born. But when a second child arrived he insisted that they hire a nanny. Looking after one child was tiring and depressing, he found; two was out of the question.

Now he spends his days at the gym, in Waitrose, browsing in antique shops, in the basement of their smart north London town house playing computer games and (naturally) going out to lunch. He resents it that people find that funny or objectionable. After all, women have been doing the same thing for years.

Nobody said the sexual revolution was going to be easy. Perhaps the men who push at the boundaries — the boastful lads who lunch and the meek Stepford husbands alike — deserve to be regarded as innovators, no less public-spirited than the pioneering feminists of the early 20th century.

Source: The Sunday Times

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Back to life, back to reality

2005-03-11T11:40:00.000Z

With all the reality TV that is being pumped out you would think that reality cinema would start to kick in. In general the public obviously love ‘good’ reality TV, so why do producers and directors seem to be ignoring this call to action?

I don’t know about you but I go to the movies a lot and the majority of what’s out there is so unreal. I appreciate that many people go to the movies to escape reality, but in reality there is no escape.

I enjoy documentaries and biographies but by today’s terms these cannot be defined as reality cinema.

I’m not suggesting there should be a flux of one reality movie after another, no, definitely not. All it needs is one or two insightful, interesting, and original movies of this type, and I’m certain they would be box office hits.

An obvious topic or theme would of course be sex, sex sells, but I doubt if such potential reality cinema would be produced in the US considering the uproar Kinsey has created. No, I think it will have to be fired up by some European director.

Michael Winterbottom’s 9 Songs out today in the UK, shows actors Kieran O'Brien and Margot Stilley having real, un-glamorized sex, along with natural sounds rather than the usual background music. While this may be seen as ground breaking cinema, it could also be viewed as soft porn with non-porn actors. Of course I will need to see it to really commit to any opinion.

True reality cinema would however, have no plot, no script etc. Just the all seeing cameras and attached microphones. Will we ever see the day?

I Heard Love Is Blind

2005-03-10T19:46:00.000Z

Today I thought I would share a certain little song that always brings a smile to my face. The lyrics on the debut album Frank from talented 21 year old Amy Winehouse, remind me of what life was like growing up as a teenager in London back in 1984 and onwards, the boyfriends, the clubbing, the drugs, oh yeah there were drugs. Time may pass but some things don’t change much in the London teenage scene.

Why does this song make me smile? It’s direct, cheeky, and strangely innocent.

By Amy Winehouse

I couldn't resist him
His eyes were like yours
His hair was exactly the shade of brown
He's just not as tall, but I couldn't tell
It was dark and I was lying down

You are everything – he means nothing to me
I can't even remember his name
Why you so upset?
Baby, you weren't there and I was thinking of you when I came

What do you expect?
You left me here alone; I drank so much and needed to touch
Don't overreact – I pretended he was you
You wouldn't want me to be lonely

How can I put it so you understand?
I didn't let him hold my hand
But he looked like you; I guess he looked like you
No he wasn't you
But you can still trust me, this ain't infidelity
It's not cheating; you were on my mind

Yes he looked like you
But I heard love is blind…

On the CD Frank

Btw, is it just me or has anyone else been having problems with Blogger today?

Pimpin' it!

2005-03-09T14:15:00.000Z

I found a very suitable treatment for yesterdays post over at LilRed

I have to say Michael’s views towards women as wives leaves a lot to be desired, so my only option was to pimp up his article, made me feel much better. Here’s an excerpt:

There is many good reasons fo` putt'n yo wife out of business n shit. One is you want someone ta pay careful attention ta yo children, n you don't feel like doing it yoself. Anotha is tha shot calla amount of time it frees up fo` her ta pay attention ta you . Slap your mutha fuckin self. But tha best reason is tha pleasure you wizzy receive from pimpin' ta tha outside world tizzle you can do it .

Can you think of anyone who deserves da treatment?

Go ahead give it a spin @ http://www.gizoogle.com/

Is he for real?

2005-03-08T12:32:00.000Z

Please, somebody tell me this is just this guy’s warped sense of humour… sadly I don't think it is.

How to Put Your Wife Out of Business

By Michael Lewis

With women now paid as much as 90 cents on the dollar for the same work as men, it is increasingly difficult to shut down your wife's commercial activities and get her to focus on household chores. Many men don't even bother, but simply accept that their wives will keep their jobs. But those of us who don't — those men who want to bring home the bacon in the spirit of our fathers, and their fathers before them — have very little in the way of guidance or support. Women seeking counsel on how to get the most out of their husbands can dip into a river of self-help books, tawdry daytime TV shows and features that dramatize the female author's plight in women's magazines. Every week, it seems, women are offered ever more expert advice on how to manipulate their men. Men, however, are expected to figure it out all by themselves. And so they don't.

There are many good reasons for putting your wife out of business. One is you want someone to pay careful attention to your children, and you don't feel like doing it yourself. Another is the sheer amount of time it frees up for her to pay attention to you. But the best reason is the pleasure you will receive from proving to the outside world that you can do it.

There was a brief time, from about 1985 to 1991, when high-powered males demonstrated their status by marrying equally high-powered females with high-paying jobs. That time has passed. The surest way for a man to exhibit his social status — the finest bourgeois bling — is to find the most highly paid woman you can, working in the most high-profile job, and shut her down. Bonus points if her job is typically viewed as a "man's" job. Find, for instance, a female professor of science at Harvard and persuade her to swap her Bunsen burners for your Viking gas ones; you will earn the degree of respect typically reserved for CEOs and movie stars. Bonus points for making her unemployment stick. Warren Beatty briefly made a flagrant display of his stature when he married Annette Bening and took her out of movies — but now, alas, she has returned to her acting. And where does that leave him? A bit lower than he was, I think.

What men need, really, are role models. Other men who have done it and lived to tell the tale. Consider, for example, me. I hope I don't need to remind the reader, but I will anyway: When we met, my wife — Tabitha Soren — was a hotshot. She walked from her offices at MTV into Times Square and people shrieked her name and bayed for her autograph. She made pots of money. She couldn't swing a dead cat in the television business without hitting a job offer. And now — behold! Two children later, she has happily abandoned fame and fortune and is making a second "career" as a fine-art photographer.

"How did you do it?," I can hear you asking. I can't claim to offer a comprehensive answer. Just a few pointers:

Never mention money. It sounds counterintuitive, as money is the source of your power. But you must cede apparent control of the loot you bring in. (This is different from actually ceding control of it.) When you see the credit card charge from the shoe stores, or the charitable donations to women's causes, wince to yourself, by all means. But say nothing. She's just testing you. She too knows the value of a dollar, as she once made money. She suspects that you plan to use your money-making as a weapon against her. Once she sees that you won't — at least, not overtly — she'll rein it in.

Cushion her fall. The fact is, she'll suffer a bit, psychologically. Our society attaches an absurd importance to the way people get their money. After you've put your wife out of business, she will go from feeling the center of attention to feeling slightly neglected. At dinner parties, people will want to know all about you and nothing about her. Pleasant for you in the short term, the extra attention is disastrous in the long run. You must become expert in a kind of social jujitsu: taking the energy aimed at you and redirecting it toward your wife. Learn to say things like, "Yes, it's true, I painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, but see that woman over there, she cleaned the floor! Why is it that no one ever looks more closely at the floor? That's where the beauty is!" It's very important to sound sincere. If you let other people have their way, you'll lose yours.

Lie. A lot. Women obviously love high- status males, and so they secretly love the fact that you are acquiring status by putting them out of business. But they may not be entirely conscious of the pleasure; they may even believe that one day, after they are finished having children, they would like to return to work. Indulge this fantasy. Allow them to believe that their unemployment is temporary. Say things like, "You can always go back, whenever you want" or "You're probably in more demand now than you were when you were working, you just don't see it." The longer you have her believing this, the less true it becomes.

Are there really men out there who think like this?

Source: LA Times

Titillating!

2005-03-07T11:37:00.000Z

Breasts - better in or out?

By Melanie Rickey

With a smoother, more natural, rounded look coming into fashion, it's time to ask whether the cleavage has finally had its day

Women’s relationship with their breasts changed irrevocably with the launch of the Wonderbra in 1994. Before Wonderbra, unless it was seduction gear, underwear served a practical purpose — we wore bras that kept our boobs tidy and out of the way. (A lot of us still do. The world’s bestselling bra is by Triumph: it’s called Doreen, and it looks like it sounds.)

After Wonderbra, we all wanted a thrusting cleavage. Then a boob job. Or to look like we’d had one, using those hideous chicken-fillet things. In bars and clubs, you couldn’t move for women wielding their trussed-up assets like a couple of wobbly jellies on a plate. The upshot of the Wonderbra phenomenon was ultimately positive: we discovered bras as fashion items and, crucially, we realised that the right bra would give us the boobs we wanted. All we had to do was try more new bras. Sales of bras jumped 40% in the 1990s. Then Jordan and her outsized puppies came along: thanks in no small part to her, last year saw a 55% leap in the number of boob jobs in the UK, with most chicks opting for a C cup.

One by one, though, boob-brandishing celebrities are covering up. First Kylie. Then Heidi. Victoria Beckham has, allegedly, had a breast reduction. Eva Herzigova, the original Wonderbra girl, bears boobs that seem a shadow of their former selves. Now, even Jennifer Lopez has gone demure, and fashion designers are championing a new modesty that leaves almost everything to the imagination. When a girlfriend of mine, famous for her propensity to “get her tits out for the lads”, declared “I feel it just isn’t right to put them on display any more”, the game was up. The trend, it seems, has finally passed. RIP cleavage.

Canvassing opinion on the subject down my local was enlightening. “Jordan culture, for me, destroyed the allure of having a big cleavage,” said thirtysomething Amy. “I don’t wear my Wonderbra any more,” Caireen, 26, told me. “Guys recognise the triangles at the back. They wised up to it — they know I’m faking it.” Liz, 24, added: “You’ve got to look as if you haven’ t tried. Anyway, I don’t want to attract the kind of guy who’s staring down my top.” Judy Berger is a personal shopper for cash-rich, time-poor women. She also happens to be 5ft 1in with 32F breasts. “The big-cleavage trend was in when I was 20. I loved it, but that trend is over. When I put a cleavage bra on now, it makes me look like a porn star. At 27, my objective is to look sophisticated. I need a bra to keep them in the centre of my chest; I want to cover them, but not so much that I can’t wear low-cut tops. It’s all about shape: you want a nice shape, whatever cup you are.”

Charlotte Semler, co-founder of Myla, the lingerie line, doesn’t even have a push-up, stick-out bra in her collection. “Women want to look curvy, not busty barmaid. People are just bored of cleavage. It’s like bare midriffs. In fact, we have a healthy market in nipple covers.”

Figleaves.com, the British e-tailer that sold 21,000 push-up bras last year, concedes that these account for 40% of its business. However, Amanda Lepar, the company’s bra buyer, is seeing that change. “The smoothing and enhancing bras will ultimately take over from the cleavage market,” she says. “We are selling more and more of them, as well as what I call the five-minute bra — balconettes and half-cups, which women wear for the bedroom.”

“We do have a problem,” admits Hervé Bailly, Wonderbra’s marketing director. “Everyone relates Wonderbra to cleavage. For many years, women considered showing cleavage to be the only way to look sexy. That has changed. Women now want to communicate their sexiness in a different way; they want rounded, more natural-looking breasts. Or to play with a low neckline, which is not, technically, cleavage.”

On Tuesday, Gossard launches the antidote to its Wonderbra (one is still sold every six seconds) with a £1m campaign created by Trevor “Hello Boys” Beattie, whose ad agency is TBWA. The SuperSmooth bra aims to tap into our new-found desire for enhanced shape and less cleavage. It is an amazing piece of engineering. It looks like a piece of moulded neoprene (the flesh-coloured one looks really spooky) and has no seams, stitches or elastic, and no itchy label. The idea is that it is so comfortable you can’t feel it on, and so smooth it looks invisible under clothes; to the unknowing eye, your boobs appear naturally gorgeous, perky and rounded. I’ve been wearing mine for two days and can verify all of the above. The bra plays a clever double game: cleavage uplift to satisfy men, without making a woman feel like an obvious sex object.

Bil Bungay, of TBWA, also worked on the campaign. “To me, Wonderbra-wearers come across as a bit desperate. SuperSmooth says: ‘I don’t need to fake it to look gorgeous.’” Mary McCartney Donald, who shot the campaign, says: “I wanted to put across a natural feeling, to show that you can radiate your sexuality without showing it. I also want to show that there’s a spectrum of acceptable sizes — not all men like big tits.” McCartney Donald selected the model because she has what must be the most desired boob size in the land: 32C.

The SuperSmooth was inspired by a French bra called the Super Touch Up, which is currently the runaway bestseller in France. So, could SuperSmooth be the new It bra? The industry thinks so. Calvin Klein launches a similar one in the autumn, called Perfectly Fit; Splendour is on the case too.

Let’s leave the last word to a self-appointed breast connoisseur: Neil, 35, who I met on my pub test. “They have to feel like breasts, move like breasts. Not be trussed-up or fake. Most guys hate fake. The bottom line is, we all know you’ve got them, we all like to think about them all the time, but we don’t need to see them. The thrill of imagination is so much better than having it pushed in your face.”

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Personally I’m rather glad that eau natural is de rigour, as Neil says guys know we’ve got them. I mean can you imagine if men were to wear penis enhancers, I definitely prefer to have it left to my imagination.

Source: The Sunday Times Style Magazine

I’m a Sex Goddess, apparently

2005-03-04T11:15:00.000Z

Are You a Sex Goddess?

-----------------------------------

Opus, your result is Persephone!

A brilliant bolt of lightning descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken! The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, Persephone, Goddess of the Night, a woman in touch with her deepest inner desires.

As the most sexual of all the female deities, you are very comfortable in the bedroom. Your skill at pleasing a man is unmatched, and you know exactly what you need for your own pleasure.

As a woman of passion, you're very comfortable with expressing your desires to anyone. You are a proud and confident woman who exudes sensuality. You cherish the intimacy of physical attraction and know what it takes to win a man.

As a woman deeply in touch with your sexuality, you definitely know how to thoroughly enjoy yourself! Your polished bedroom performance always keeps them coming back for more.

When everything is going right, a light shines down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!

Well tickle my fancy

And while I was there:

Who's Your Type?

------------------------------------

Opus, yours is the Clown type!

Laughter is the way to your heart. A man with a fab sense of humour is definitely the one for you! You want a Clown, someone who can laugh at himself and make you laugh, too.

There's nothing more tedious than a man who takes himself too seriously. You know that if a chap is silly, he's generally self-confident and secure.

Your man is a people magnet and everyone's favourite friend. There's never a dull moment with your clown nearby. You crave excitement and a bit of a laugh, and your clown enhances those things in your life.

You probably think life is too short to spend it without a smile. Your witty lad will ensure that that doesn't happen - his light hearted and silly ways make everything a little bit brighter.

Well laughter is the best medicine.

And of course as its Friday a little teaser for you The Mind Reader

What’s your flavour?

2005-03-03T15:01:00.000Z

Scientists have discovered a musician who can taste sounds.

According to the journal Nature researchers in Zurich, Switzerland, put it down to crossed sensory brain "wires".

The musician, identified only as ES, finds a minor second note tastes sour, a major second bitter, a minor third salty, a major third sweet and a minor sixth creamy.

I don’t know about you readers but I cum in a major third… what’s your flavour?

Its not rocket science…

2005-03-02T10:29:00.000Z

Hmm… women are getting a bit of stick at the moment. We’re either too smart to be considered as marriage material, or too dumb to do the math.

Thankfully this article clears up the latter assumption.

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Harvard President Summer's speech attributing biological differences in women's abilities in science sparks an examination of the situation at BC

By Vanessa Voltolina
Published: Monday, February 28, 2005

Discussions at the college across the river sparked a great deal of controversy nationwide on Jan. 14. During a two-day conference at the National Bureau of Economic Research, a group of Cambridge economists and a small group of attendees from all over the country discussed the role of women and minorities in the science and engineering workforce.

At this conference, Harvard University President Lawrence H. Summers caused an uproar when he stated that fewer number of women excel in the sciences and engineering careers due to biological and innate differences between men and women.

Summers claimed he was only stating the hypotheses based on scholarly work, however, his statements offended many people at the conference. While the Harvard president claims that more research needs to be done on this issue, he was acting as a top economist at the time of the comment, and told the press that he was aiming to be provocative.

While many may turn a blind eye to Summers' defense, it is only fair to look at this objectively. The Boston Globe and many national papers have already hung him out to dry.

"The idea that women are less able than men in science has been bruited about for centuries." says Marc Muskavich, Deluca Chair in biology at Boston College.

This widely known stereotype - men excel in math and sciences and women excel in the humanities - has been a prevailing generalization for years. Girls say they enjoy math in earlier grades, but tend to shy away in adolescence. As many girls as boys, however, now take advanced math classes in high school and major in math almost as often in college.

The gender distinction seems to begin during the elementary years, when females tend to be praised for their neat handwriting and appearance of assignments, while boys are judged more on the actual content.

A study conducted by students at the University of Wisonsin-Madison discovered that girls think more about what they say in class; therefore, it takes them a longer amount of time to raise their hand in response to a question. Boys tend to speak as they think, which explains teachers' quick recognition of male students.

Girls are more successful in math and science programs that incorporate a cooperative, hands-on approach than in programs that stress competition and individual learning, according to the National Council for Research on Women.

Therefore, it is possible to surmise that excelling in sciences is based on a socialization issue rather than a biological one.

"The lack of women in the fields of science and engineering can be blamed on the history of politics, not biology," says Melanie McNally, a Beckman Scholar and A&S '06.

"For centuries, there has been a certain political bias against women entering these fields, and a constant obligation to prove oneself to committees and councils of science."

Summers offered two other possible explanations for the small number of women in high-level positions in science and engineering.

The first was the reluctance or inability of women who have children to work 80-hour weeks.The second was that fewer girls than boys have top scores on science and math tests in late high school years.

Summers defended his controversial statement by calling for more research.

"It's possible I made some reference to innate differences, I did say that you have to be careful in attributing things to socialization. That's what we would prefer to believe, but these are things that need to be studied," says Summers, according to The Globe.

With all of this media hype about women in the sciences, BC's own science departments come into question. Do we really believe that biology is a factor in women excelling?

"This suggestion is unfounded and a lack of women in the sciences is not due to a lack of ability in that area, but instead due to personal preference in choosing professions," says Jennifer Bordeaux, a biochemistry major and A&S '06.

"The idea that women have a biological difference preventing them from taking part in sciences is ridiculous," she adds.

Dave Karpuk, A&S '06, agrees.

"I don't think there is a difference between genders when it comes to mathematical thinking. Some people have the right kind of brain for it, and some don't. But I don't think that has anything to do with gender. I know plenty of girl math majors who are just as smart, or smarter, than I am," he says.

But Karpuk agrees that the cards might be stacked against women entering the sciences.

"I think math is traditionally a more masculine subject, so girls are probably turned off or intimidated by the fact that it is male dominated," he says.

"I think it is changing though, pretty quickly too. The male tradition only means that there are more male professors in the department, but that doesn't matter much because unlike other subjects, there's no real way to put a gender biased spin on the material.

"The idea that biology affects the ability to succeed in the sciences neglects to examine other issues in our history and human psychology.

"As a social psychologist, I am keenly aware of how our behavior is driven by context. We are immersed in a culture that communicates subtle and overt expectations for what we are to do with our lives," says Tamlin Conner, Ph.D, visiting assistant professor of psychology.

These cultural expectations exist in the form of stereotypes (women = humanities and men = math and science), which can affect our life paths in subtle ways. A strictly biological explanation neglects the lessons learned from social psychology.

The Premedical Office in Higgins estimated that "the difference among male and female [medical school] applicants is statistically insignificant," with about 78 percent of females being granted acceptance to medical school and 75 percent male applicant acceptance rate.

The information was based on an analysis of the numbers from the class of medical students set to begin their studies in the fall of 2004.

"Some of the best scientists I know, and know of, are women. Some of the best scientists I know, and know of, are men," says Muskavich.

"My experience suggests that the ranges and medians of scientific intelligence and ability are comparable in men and women," he says.

While Summers is skeptical about the fate of females in the sciences, it seems that students at BC have a more positive outlook for the future.

"Science and engineering will see a change in the next few decades - many of the most visible and involved scientists I know are female," says McNally.

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Alpha females

2005-03-01T20:18:00.000Z

There seems to be no end to this topic in the news:

Why men are scared of Alpha females
By David Wilkes, Daily Mail 28 February 2005

Intelligent, high achievers and high earners, they have been dubbed 'Alpha females'.
But while this new class of women seem to have it all, they have become victims of their own success when it comes to finding a partner.
Men are terrified to marry them, according to research, because they are intimidated by their brains and achievements.
Instead they prefer to settle down with women 'like their mums' who do not challenge them intellectually.
Two studies, in Britain and the U.S., both backed the widely-held notion that women who do well in their careers find it hard to repeat that success in their personal lives.
In one, four British universities measured the IQ of 900 11-year-olds and revisited them 40 years later to see how their lives had moved on.
They found that the brighter girls were less likely to find a man who wants to marry them, with their chances diminishing dramatically in direct proportion to their level of intelligence.
For each 16-point rise in their IQ, their marriage prospects fell by 40 per cent.
In contrast, boys' chances increased by 35 per cent with each 16-point rise.
The researchers, from Bristol, Edinburgh, Aberdeen and Glasgow universities, believe this is because men like to be in control of a relationship.
The other study, by the University of Michigan, suggested that men would rather marry women in subordinate jobs because they think that high-fliers are more likely to commit adultery.
'The hypothesis is that there are evolutionary pressures on males to take steps to minimize the risk of raising offspring that are not their own,' said lead scientist Dr Stephanie Brown.
'These findings support the widespread belief that powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less accomplished women.'
The term 'Alpha' comes from the Animal Kingdom, in which species arrange themselves into a ranked order.
Successful women who have been unlucky in love include the actress Minnie Driver, who once lamented: 'I don't know whether men are scared to ask me out, or if they think I am seeing someone else.'
The sad truth of my dating history is that of a serially single woman.'
Earlier this month Natasha Bedingfield revealed she hasn't had a relationship for two years, nor much time for one because of the way her singing career has taken off.
The 23-year-old described her ideal man as someone 'who can keep up with me'. She added: 'I'm going at such high-speed and I need someone who can handle that - not be an anchor and stop me - and who is comfortable with my success.'
Miss Bedingfield says she has 'the odd moments when I'd like to be with someone, but I'm not desperate'.
She is unwilling to settle for second best in a partner because she has seen through her brother and her father that romantic, loving and unselfish men do exist.
One of her songs, Single, is about 'the joys of being unattached'.
'Not wanting to commit to a partner is something that men usually celebrate, so I sang about it from a woman's point of view,' she said.
'If you're an attractive, single girl, you're made to think you've got a problem if you're not with someone. It shouldn't be like that.' Relationship expert Dr Linda Papadopoulos said Alpha females should carry some of the blame for their unwanted single status.
'If women have invested a certain amount in their career, it's going to take a hell of a lot for Mr Right to sweep them off their feet because they have more to lose,' she said.
'Women in this situation need to be honest with themselves and know what they're really looking for. Maybe they should be looking for someone who complements them, rather than hoping for someone who completes them.'
Marcelle d'Argy Smith, broadcaster and former editor of Cosmopolitan, said: 'Of course men don't want to marry Alpha females; it means they might not get looked after.'

Of course all academics and indeed anyone else can do is theorize and assume on the findings of this research.

Personally – as regular readers will know – I don’t think it is just about men not wanting to marry Alpha females. I also believe that Alpha females don’t have a requirement for the traditional, conventional set-up of marriage. If further research was to be carried out, I wonder what percentage of Alpha females chose or choose to co-habit.

It makes perfect sense that Alpha females will tend to focus on their careers, they want to achieve, and they are driven, just the same as Alpha males. However for males marriage does not hinder the opportunity to achieve. Alpha females know that marriage and children impede the likelihood of promotion, but co-habiting does not.

Ignorance is bliss?

2005-02-28T15:03:00.000Z

I previously posted my thoughts on this topic in KISS. Research shows that intelligent, attractive, high earning; capable women are at a disadvantage in the marriage arena. This is an article from the Independent by Andrew Johnson and Jonathan Thompson.

-------------------------------------

They have been dubbed the "Alpha female" and they have it all: good looks, successful careers, sharp minds and bulging bank accounts. But they have one problem: men do not want to marry them.

Research at four British universities shows that women with high IQs are less likely to get married than those with lower ones.

Researchers from Aberdeen, Bristol, Edinburgh and Glasgow universities discovered that high-IQ women saw their marriage prospects fall dramatically, but that men with high IQs had little trouble finding a partner. They found that for each 16-point rise in a girl's IQ, her marriage prospects declined by 40 per cent. But the boys' chances of marriage increased by 35 per cent with each 16-point rise.

The marital prospects of the so-called Alpha female last night prompted a debate among academics and feminists about why men are steering clear of a generation of female high achievers.

Despite the emergence of the so-called new man those at ease with modern womanhood the research has revealed that Alpha females are being shunned because men are scared that they will not be in control.

Another theory is that Alpha females are being avoided because men are biologically wired to avoid successful partners because of the threat of infidelity, one that could leave them bringing up a child who is not their own.

"The pattern is consistent with the possibility that there were reproductive advantages for males who preferred to form long-term relationships with relatively subordinate partners," said Stephanie Brown, a social psychologist researching the subject.

"These findings support the widespread belief that powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less-accomplished women."

The trend follows US studies that showed the problems high-earning New York women had finding partners.
Dr Linda Papadopoulos, a behavioural psychologist and relationships expert, said that Alpha females should carry some of the blame for their unwanted single status.

"If women have invested a certain amount in their career, it's going to take a hell of a lot for Mr Right to sweep them off their feet, because they've got more to lose," she said. "Women in this situation need to be honest with themselves and know what they're really looking for. Maybe they should be looking for someone who complements them, rather than hoping for someone who completes them."

But such comments last night prompted a furious row among experts on the subject. Beatrix Campbell, a feminist writer, poured scorn on the theory that men were worried about bringing up the wrong baby.

"It's nothing to do with biology," she said. "Men's expectation of a marriage is that they will be taken care of. The idea that men will care for and protect their partner is a great trick on women.

"They assume that men want to protect them. But their experience is that men want to be taken care of. Even now if a man is living with a successful partner, the woman will be doing all of the child care and housework."

Marcelle d'Argy Smith, broadcaster and ex-Cosmopolitan editor was not surprised that high-flying women had difficulties. "Of course men don't want to marry Alpha females: it means they might not get looked after. Equality was only ever a female ideal. What's wrong with the single life?"

And the author Kathy Lette said: "I've always suspected a man's ideal wife is his secretary as we know how men love a woman they can dictate to. And now this his research backs up this theory."

However, Professor Lisa Jardine, an academic and broadcaster who has been married for 22 years, poured cold water on the suggestions that somehow Alpha women were losing out on love.

"I truly, truly, don't believe it," she said. "I'm an Alpha female and I feel fortunate to have been immensely successful with my career and earnings, and to have found that that has no impact whatsoever on the fabulous nature of my partnership."

'Men are scared of a strong woman'

Bibi Lynch, 38, is a successful journalist and TV presenter who describes herself as a "card-carrying Alpha female".

She has a flat "I love" in London and what she describes as a more-than-healthy social life, but has been single for five years.

"There are a lot of men that are scared and intimidated," she says. "At first they seem to like that you're an Alpha female - you're smart, with a great job and have an opinion. But that also seems to be the deal-breaker. I know an awful lot of women who have great jobs and homes. They are everything that our mothers told us to strive for. But a lot are single, and they could walk into any bar and attract all the men in there."

Ms Lynch's dating experience supports the theory that some men can't cope with a successful woman. "I had someone say 'you're in a different league to me', and now he's going out with a student," she says. "I didn't meet that many men that I wanted to go out with, but the men I did liked me in the early stages. They were enjoying what I had to offer and showing me off to their friends. Then it could start to be too much. One man I spoke to said he enjoyed bantering with Alpha females, but added that you only banter for the first few weeks of a relationship."

But there is hope in a younger generation of men. "Some men may find Alpha women hard work. They are not going to take any rubbish. The socialising role for men to be breadwinners and protective is still in place. And they want women like their mums. That doesn't reflect well on certain men, although I do think younger men have a different mindset.

"It doesn't put me off men. It's better to be on your own than with the wrong person. I'd always be prepared to wait for someone special. Alpha females are a great thing. It's great that we are equal, clever and funny."

-------------------------------------

Now if you’ve been following my posts then you’ll know that I’m 37 and have been a serial monogamist for 21 years. What you won’t know is that I have a high IQ , stand at 5’ 10”, have a sharp mind and used to me a model (although looking back I only did modelling seriously for about 4 years, not really the right career for a gal with a high IQ), but you get the picture.

I have quite happily stood back and watched all of my close girlfriends follow the traditional route, find a nice young man with the potential to be a good provider, get married, start a family and commit to a very conventional, stereotypical man woman relationship.

At a very early age I realised that this sort of set-up would not satisfy me and I have thankfully stood by my values. I understand my own truths and I know that only a relationship of equals will make me happy. I am not looking for a man to be a good provider; I seek a relationship where we both provide equally, where we both nurture equally, where we are both able to stimulate each other equally; mentally and physically. I do not want to lead or be lead, but walk side-by-side.

I have sensed that a lot of men would not feel comfortable with this way; in general they have been conditioned by their experience of childhood to aspire to the provider role, while women in general aspire to the nurturer role, but the two roles are not mutually exclusive.

I still believe its 6 of one and half a dozen of the other – many men don’t feel comfortable with the Alpha female, but just as many Alpha females choose not to marry.

In a sense I do feel that this imbalance of values and aspirations is a shame, because as my previous post mentioned, there have been many equal marriages of note, where an equal partnership has enabled the individuals to achieve great things… together.

Friday fun

2005-02-25T11:15:00.000Z

Book Game by Texas Biscuit

Here are the rules:

Grab the nearest book.
Open the book to page 123.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

I could’ve kept some party music, but that would’ve just tried to boost me up, all this thin kind of ‘Tss-tss-tss,’ music. You get all boosted up, convinced you’re going to win in life, then the song’s over and you discover you fucken lost. That’s why you end up playing those songs over and over, in case you didn’t know.

Vernon God Little – DBC Pierre

------------------------------------

The Lobeprobe

There is no adding numbers together or subtraction… only Lobeprobing

New balls!

2005-02-24T14:51:00.000Z

Is there something in the air?

I have read two news items recently about vengeful women taking it upon themselves to remove their (ex) partners manhood.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage after her former boyfriend, Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a drunken house party. She yanked off his left testicle, which was later handed to him by a friend with the words: "That's yours."
-------------------------------------

A 44-year-old Anchorage man had his penis surgically reattached after it was cut off by an angry girlfriend. The pair had been arguing over an impending break-up. At some point, the two decided to have sex and the man agreed to let the woman tie his arms to a windowsill. The woman used a kitchen knife to amputate her partner's penis and flushed it down the toilet.

There was also the Bobbitt special back in 1993.

Now I can appreciate that some men can be complete bastards, but to start slicing up a guys private parts is something only a crazy woman would do.

So guys if you can’t keep your pecker in your pants, make sure you’re with a girl who can keep her knife in the kitchen.

For your pleasure...

2005-02-23T10:53:00.000Z

Hmm, may have overdone it slightly on changing the colours, not sure, but I was bored with the colours I had and my favourite colours are deep reds and purples, so I’ll see how it goes. Nothing to do with the results of yesterday’s seduction test, just a coincidence.

I’ve come over all considerate today, a delayed reaction after reading this article in the Sunday Times Style Magazine:

Considering the dedication with which we men pursue orgasms, it’s odd that we almost never try to describe them. Women, supposedly less orgasm-obsessed, give long, lyrical descriptions of their whole-body orgasmic experiences. Yet, for thousands of years, when even sensitive, articulate male writers have reached the sticky bits of their sex scenes, they weirdly change their point of view and start going on about the ecstatic vaginal fireworks show that they imagine exploding within their lover’s loins.
What is going on here? By far the most likely explanation for men’s reticence is that, frankly, the male orgasm is rubbish. Nature gave us the desire to ejaculate with tedious regularity, yet she also ensured that the experience, though addictive, would be a bit piffling — a cunning method to get us to have sex and spread our seed as frequently as possible. But however transitory and unsatisfying the male orgasm is, we get to see women go through the 5, 10, 30 seconds of face-contorted, white-knuckle yes, yessss ... then bliss. Sometimes, we feel the aftershocks in their vagina for even longer. We hear them purr contentedly in the afterglow. And, while we might feel rather smug for having played our part, real or imagined, we also somehow sense that we were at a different party.
For those of you who don’t know, let me explain what the male orgasm is like. It starts with an irritable sensation in our testicles and the end of our penis. WH Auden memorably called this “the intolerable neural itch”. Try to analyse the “itch” and it soon becomes apparent that it consists of little more than a large body of semen hollering to get out and go swimming as fast as possible. The mechanism by which this cargo of gunge will be released is as crudely sensitive as it is simple. It is so eager to go that, often, especially when we are young and eager, it will happen before we have even got our trousers off. But whether our sperm makes its exit in that undignified manner, or as a result of well done sex, or badly done sex, or, indeed, in the course of a good solo session, the sensation is identical. There is a slight, sweet/sour twitch from the prostate gland; a rather pleasant muscular gurgle from the testicles, followed within nanoseconds by a reasonably satisfying liquid rush the length of the old John Thomas; then, a further fraction of a second later, a moderately agreeable liquid awareness around the tip. And that, other than a few moments in a lifetime when there may be an extra fusillade within the same orgasm (typically, when we have avoided ejaculation for a lengthy period), is it. There follows a brief spell when we feel content and sleepy, and our prostate (if we are aware of its existence, which most of us aren’t, until it starts to go wrong in our forties) aches in quite a nice way.
That level of after-sales service tends to last no more than a few minutes or hours before the urge builds up again. The lasting thing, the satisfying thing, for men is not so much the scratching of that neural itch, but the (admittedly vain) feeling of having impressed, amazed, delighted, whatever, a woman you like and want to please. I am almost sorry to admit this, but more than 30 years of sex have convinced me that the male orgasm in itself is not much more satisfying than a desperately needed wee. It is my strongly held conviction, having been doing this stuff since the mullet haircut was unironically fashionable, that, because of the disappointing nature of their orgasms, it is men who crave the romantic garnish of the slow build-up, the wistful gazing, the expression of undying love around their sexual meat and two veg. Women, however, blessed with a vastly more satisfying orgasmic mechanism, are able to be more pragmatic about enjoying sex for sex’s sake.
If, and admittedly it is a big if, a woman is with a man who knows what he is doing, she will get enough physical payback from the deal to keep her happy for days afterwards and won’t be bothered by the lack of romance, let alone love. Heterosexual men are increasingly less into sex and more into love; women, more into sex and less into love. This is entirely to do with the vastly better quality of the female orgasm compared with the male version. I have talked to men about having sex with prostitutes, which many women mistakenly believe is the male ideal. Most men find it far less enjoyable than they believe it will be. Emotionally uninvolved sex is a letdown for men.
I was discussing these matters with a female friend the other day. I thought she might be the one to undermine my theory. She is a fairly traditional, monogamous, moral, quite religious girl, who, while deeply involved with her career, will admit she is also actively husband-hunting. I put my view to her that sex without a backdrop of, at least, deep affection and, at best, love, is a waste of time and we would all be better off doing it for ourselves. She couldn’t have agreed less. “I’m totally faithful to my boyfriends,” she said, “and I will practise and demand complete loyalty from my husband. In my experience, though, there’s absolutely nothing to beat a night of good, old-fashioned sex with a guy who’s really good and makes me come lots, but who leaves when he’s told — and doesn’t start phoning and e-mailing the next day and becoming a nuisance.” Vive, as they say, la différence.

Now I can appreciate that the guy who wrote this article was generalising here but it got me thinking. Biologically it makes perfectly good sense that a guy has this frequent need to spread his seed, but it doesn’t make sense that the actual mechanism for spreading it should not be as enjoyable as the female mechanism for receiving it. Yes, this is why we girls have orgasms, they increase the likelihood of conception at ovulation, oh and they are emotionally bonding, so I guess we just like to do a lot of bonding, but I digress.

So how does a guy learn to experience a more mind, body rush of orgasmic energy similar to that of a woman? Well as you can imagine this is a big topic and I couldn’t possibly attempt to cover it in this post, but briefly.

First of all you’ll need to be open to getting in touch with your feminine side, makes sense no. Adopt a more sensual approach to your love-making. If you always tend to view ejaculation as the end result requirement of sex, change your view slightly, stop chasing your orgasm and let your orgasm come to you.

Masturbate, as if I have to tell you to do that… but don’t just stick to your usual routine, play around and use different techniques and rhythms so that you can explore your sexual response, if you’re adventurous use toys, if you’re not adventurous, get adventurous.

Orgasmic girls do all of this and probably a lot more besides, in general being orgasmic is not inherent for women, it is something we learn.

Of course a man will never experience an orgasm like that of a female, but with enthusiasm, time, patience and experience a man can definitely experience the best male orgasm possible.

For your pleasure:
Maximum Orgasm DVD

Jonathan Margolis O: The Intimate History of the Orgasm

This article has raised other thoughts in my mind, which I will of course share in a future post.

Siren

2005-02-22T11:12:00.000Z

Yes I’ve tweaked the colours. Well after doing this test I thought my blog should embrace a few colours more befitting for a siren. I’m still cogitating on yesterdays post – quite a long article – but I can already hear my mind and some interesting thoughts are taking shape, but for today I give you the siren.

Your Seduction Style: Siren

You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many.
The minute you meet anyone, you can make them crave you almost immediately.
You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss.
A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Opposites detract... in the long term

2005-02-21T15:10:00.000Z

I read this article last week and thought it was very interesting. I'm going to cogitate on it some more and will share my thoughts in a future post.

Do people tend to select romantic partners that are similar to them or opposite to them? And does spouse similarity lead to marital happiness? In one of the most comprehensive studies ever undertaken on these questions, researchers at the University of Iowa find that people tend to marry those who are similar in attitudes, religion and values. However, it is similarity in personality that appears to be more important in having a happy marriage. The findings appear in the February issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association (APA).
Psychologist Eva C. Klohnen, Ph.D., and graduate student Shanhong Luo, M.A., of the University of Iowa looked at assortative mating issues (mating based on similar or opposite characteristics) among 291 newlyweds who had participated in the Iowa Marital Assessment Project. The newlyweds had been married less than a year at the time the study began and had dated each other for an average of three and a half years. The couples were assessed on a broad range of personality characteristics, attitudes and relationship quality indicators.
Results show that couples were highly similar on attitudes and values; however, they had little or no above-chance similarity on personality-related domains such as attachment, extraversion, conscientiousness and positive or negative emotions. There is no evidence that opposites attract. What is most intriguing is that when the researchers assessed marital quality and happiness, they found that personality similarity was related to marital satisfaction, but attitude similarity was not.
"People may be attracted to those who have similar attitudes, values, and beliefs and even marry them – at least in part – on the basis of this similarity because attitudes are highly visible and salient characteristics and they are fundamental to the way people lead their lives," explain the authors. Personality-related characteristics, on the other hand, take much longer to be known and to be accurately perceived and are not likely to play a more substantial role until later in the relationship, they add.
"However, once people are in a committed relationship, it is primarily personality similarity that influences marital happiness because being in a committed relationship entails regular interaction and requires extensive coordination in dealing with tasks, issues and problems of daily living. Whereas personality similarity is likely to facilitate this process, personality differences may result in more friction and conflict in daily life," say the authors. "As far as attitudes are concerned, people who chose to marry each other should be well aware of how similar or different they are on these domains because attitudes are very visible and salient. This suggests that attitudinal and value differences, when they exist, are part of a conscious decision to stay together on the basis of other important considerations, according to Luo and Klohnen.
Given that their research indicates that similarity in attitudes and values may play a different role in relationship development than does personality similarity, Luo and Klohnen suggest that future research should examine how similarity in different domains are related to relationship outcomes for couples in earlier and later stages of relationship development.

Full text of the article is available at http://www.apa.org/journals/releases/psp882304.pdf

Source: http://www.eurekalert.org

Natural porn lover

2005-02-18T19:15:00.000Z

It was a $25,000 movie that became a $600 million phenomenon

It caused an administration to declare war on freedom

It turned buying a ticket into an act of revolution

Deep Throat is generally considered the most profitable motion picture of all time. The movie was released in 1972 and coincided with a time of sexual revolution. “This sexually explicit film unexpectedly became the flashpoint for an unprecedented social and political firestorm – a major cultural phenomenon whose impact continues to affect us today.”

The documentary Inside Deep Throat examines the chasm between the modest intentions of the movie’s makers and the unforeseen legacy they inadvertently created. Released in the U.S. on February 11th, attendance has been high. In the UK, Momentum plan to release the documentary in cinemas in June.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was born in the summer of sex drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, yes, so I’m told, 1967 was a great year. Just imagine all that sexual energy man as I entered the cosmos, inhale deeply and let it out slow.

I’m not prude I’m very liberal and I think that porn done well has its place in society. Porn is not new, it has been around in various forms since humans evolved; initially through drawing and writing with the first nude photos appearing in 1845, these were distributed at art dealerships, instrument makers, and opticians – well I guess its one way of testing a guys eyesight!

Early porn photography was predominantly focused towards men, depicting a variety of hetero, lesbian, and homo acts. Of course modern porn has moved on some and although the female market is still not hugely catered for, there are about 30 women directors producing porn with the female viewer in mind, Candida Royalle being one.

Women do watch porn, a report by Nielsen NetRatings – a company that measures and analyzes Internet usage, showed that 1 in 3 users of porn were women. Over 9 million American women accessed adult sites in September 2003 alone. At Good Vibrations a female owned pleasure box of sexual goodies, women account for 80% of the porn rental and purchase market.

I’d certainly like to see more ‘good’ porn for women. Done well, meaning – good plot, good script, good actors, sexy scenarios, erotic locations and of course great sex - it’s visually arousing, sensual and fun. The music is always an anti climax though please can someone sort out the music.

Big Hair & Beyond

2005-02-17T15:50:00.000Z

Big Hair & Beyond is the theme of Red Nose Day 2005, the idea is that on Friday 11th March you change the way you normally look for one day – the bigger and redder the hair the better, and of course the Red Nose is obligatory. I’ve always enjoyed this fundraising event for Comic Relief, its so much fun to take part and you can get involved as much or a little as you like.

All the UK’s top comedy talent including, Little Britain stars Matt Lucas and David Williams, Peter Kay, Dawn French, Ricky Gervais, Lenny Henry, Ruby Wax, as well as presenters Jonathan Ross, Davina McCall, Chris Evans and Liza Tarbuck will be hitting the screens in honour of the Red Nose.

For the past few years the Internet has played a part in raising the awareness of this event – agencies submit a viral challenge in the form of a Flash game, or a video, and then the public votes for their favourite. Of the five finalists this year three are games, but be warned, Speedy Relief in particular is highly addictive.

http://www.rednoseday.com/viralchallenge/index.shtml

Red Nose Day 2005

Sensual Woman

2005-02-16T10:46:00.000Z

Oh my mind it flits from serious to naughty in about a nanosecond. I was listening to this last night and would like to share it with you all today. The track on the CD I have - Blue Bar Vol. 1 - is an edited version so you won’t hear all the lyrics below but you’ll get the idea. I hope you have speakers, sit back, or perhaps lie back, and enjoy.

Sensual Woman - Herbaliser

To become aware of my own sensuality,
I first become fully aware of my own tactile sense.
In dim light, I close my eyes and remove my clothes.

Do I lose his respect for being so wild?
Hardly. He treats me like a rare and precious jewel.
And he goes through the day proud of the fact, that with me,
He is the world's most imaginative lover.

Men pick amazing places for sexual adventure.
The wildest adventure proposed to me was in a bathtub which was full of Jello!
All I could think of, was how many boxes it would take?
What would be the most alluring colour?
The most delicious flavour?
And how could that affect our oral explorations?
If the Jello gets firm, would I bounce?

As you look around for what's new and different,
Remember these three important weapons that should be learned to keep a man in love.
Imagination, sensitivity to his moods and desires,
And the courage to experiment with new sexual techniques,
Enticing situations and places.

Lovemaking is physical, and so is its language.
Suck, cock, fuck, and prick, are not bad words.
Used in the bedroom by lovers to describe parts of the body,
And physical activities,
They are very proper indeed, and they distinctly enhance sex.
Overhaul a prudish attitude.
Don't whistle and stick up your nose, at least, not up in the air?

Web of deceit

2005-02-15T18:57:00.000Z

It was always decreed by those who understood its potential that the Internet would change our lives. It offers us information at the click of a mouse; it takes seconds to find out what movies are showing at the local cinema, minutes to look up and start communicating with old friends from school, and about 7 days to start an illicit affair… with a man.

In a survey conducted “with 847 people who had had online affairs (70% of them women), 79% said they'd originally gone into the chatrooms just for a lark. But 56% had begun one-to-one communication with the new friend they'd met there in the space of a week; 59% had met in person. Often within a few hours of meeting, 49% had begun a physical relationship.”

There are now a number of online dating agencies specifically targeted towards married women seeking extramarital sex, so what drives married women in to a web of deceit?

Women want to revisit the passion and lust of a new physical relationship and enjoy the thrill of the chase. Some even secretly enjoy the lies and deceit; it adds a risk – a big risk, to an otherwise hum drum marriage.

Some women want to improve their marital sex life and so have a brief encounter in the hope that it will re-awaken the goddess within.

Many women – typically those in their forties and above, are sexual goddesses, they know who they are and what they want, they’re just not getting it at home, perhaps married to a much older spouse whose libido is simply not what it used to be.

The main drivers seem to be a need for attention - the kind of attention a woman perhaps no longer gets from her husband - the need to step outside of a normal everyday existence – to feel alive again. Quality of sex, quantity of sex, opportunity, and an unsatisfactory domestic situation.

To me it looks as though men and women are driven to affairs for very similar reasons, yet media and popular culture would have us believe we’re so different, men being from Mars and women being from Venus.

So going back to a previous post Love without limits and taking in to consideration that monogamy is non-existent in the majority of marriages, is the future looking polyamorous?

Inspiration for post - The Sunday Times Magazine February 13, 2005 ‘The Secret Lives of Wives’

Happy Valentine’s!

2005-02-14T10:54:00.000Z

As its Valentine’s Day I thought I would treat you all to the Dame of love songs Shirley Bassey. If you want to surprise your loved one send them a link to this site, the words and music say it all. When sending to your lady just tell her to replace ‘he’ with ‘she’, as the song is addressed to a man, but I’m sure she’ll understand - it’s the thought that counts.

You’ll have to forgive me, but the track is taken from a compilation CD where each track is mixed in to the next so it goes in to a few seconds of the next track before starting over.

Oh and if anyone knows who wrote the lyrics I’d love to know. I imagine it’s a poem, but by who?

Link: http://untamedsymphony.blogspot.com/

Shirley Bassey

Where Do I Begin (Love Story)

by Unknown

Where do I begin?
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love he brings to me
Where do I start?

Like a summer rain
That cools the pavement with a patent leather shine
He came into my life and made the living fine
And gave a meaning to this empty world of mine
He fills my heart

He fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs, with wild imaginings
He fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely
With him along, who could be lonely
I reach for his hand, it's always there

How long does it last?
Can love be measured by the hours in a day?
I have no answers now, but this much I can say
I'm going to need him till the stars all burn away
And he'll be there

He fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs, with wild imaginings
He fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely
With him along, who could be lonely
I reach for his hand, it's always there

BlogExplosion says no to censoring…

2005-02-11T18:56:00.000Z

I was very happy to receive my update e-mail from BlogExplosion. They have decided to allow adult/mature content Blogs to join their traffic exchange, members can choose to view adult Blogs or not when surfing by changing the surf settings. So if you have a more adult oriented Blog what are you waiting for… click on the image below to join.

Love without Limits

2005-02-10T18:51:00.000Z

“Hollywood couple Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have agreed a pact on extramarital sex. Have they discovered the key to a successful marriage?”

Well this is an interesting headline; I’m more interested in the subject matter of the article than in the subjects. We’ve all thought about it, whether in a long-term relationship or in a marriage, and we will probably go on thinking about it – and many acting on it in secret. My question is does this open style of relationship really ever work.

The article mentions a few famous people who do or did live this way, such as Terry Jones of Monty Python fame, who was in an open marriage for 34 years until his wife find out about his affair with a 22 year old Swedish student. And according to his daughter Nina, the actor Tom Conti has been in an open marriage for many years. “Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera also had an open marriage premised on a socialist rejection of a bourgeois institution.” The TV presenter Joan Bakewell had a seven year affair with Harold Pinter which inspired his play Betrayal.

Before I continue perhaps you’d like to take a peek at these statistics. These figures show that there’s a lot of cheating going on, I’m not surprised at all.

Some people just love cheating, I was reading a separate article in some magazine last week about a guy who aims, yes aims to have sex with a different woman at least once a week. He is married to a beautiful, intelligent wife but needs the thrill of anonymous dirty sex. I mean this guy is just having his cake and eating it, a bit too much cake though. But I digress.

Given the nature of sexual desire should we truly expect ourselves to be monogamous? When you first enter in to a new relationship its all lusty passion and sex, then the relationship deepens and the sex becomes emotional as well as passionate, and you fall in love, which is wonderful of course.

However, sexual desire is sexual desire; does it turn off simply because you are in a loving, intimate relationship? I don’t think so, what happens is many of us choose not to act on our desires because we have been conditioned to see this as being unfaithful, and because we would not want to hurt the one we love or lose their trust and respect. Just as many choose to cheat.

What if this was flipped on its head, what if it was seen as normal to act on your desires, I’m not talking promiscuity here. I’m talking about when you meet someone and you connect with them on a mental level and you also desire them (sort of like when you meet someone new), but because you’re already in a happy relationship/marriage you’re not looking to start something new, but you would like to experience sex with this person.

If you had a pact with your partner, you could discuss this, you let them know who it is and they either agree to it or they don’t. Would this work and if acted on what would the outcome be? Would there be jealousy? Would trust become an issue?

If at the beginning of a relationship we can separate love and sex, why can we not do this further down the line?

Progress

2005-02-09T11:00:00.000Z

I was browsing through a traffic exchange site yesterday and on loading this site I was treated to audio pleasure. The song is called ‘Progress’ and is by a Christian band called Mute Math. I don’t follow any particular religion other than my own, but it is a beautiful song, with beautiful meaning, so if you have speakers [click here] and enjoy.

Pulling your confidence through
Some courage is well overdue
I believe solely in all your promise
Why waste a second in doubt
You could be helping you out
Keeping your head in the clear

Like an instrument for a song
Like the sun for tomorrow’s dawn
Every moment of time’s just an answer to find
What you’re here for, what you breathe for
What you wake for, what you bleed for

Everyone’s counting on you
Save for yourself what to do
Life is a card that you lay down sometimes
To search for the best way of all
Is finding the best way to fall
Keeping your head in the clear

Every moment of time’s just an answer to find
What you’re here for, what you breathe for
What you wake for, what you bleed for
What you hope for, what you live for
What you’re here for, what you breathe for, what you live for
What you’re here for, what you bleed for, what you live for

Orgasmatron

2005-02-08T09:50:00.000Z

Well I have to say after watching Channel 4s Bodyshock my opinion regarding Orgasmatron is unchanged. In fact this is not quite accurate; my opinion is now much stronger against the use of such a quick fix device.

In the program 3 women took part in a week long trial, I will focus on J. J has never experienced an orgasm during sex with a partner; J didn’t even know about orgasms until she read an article in Cosmopolitan when she was 41. She is sometimes able to climax by masturbating in a kneeling position.

During the trial J went through the procedure of having the electrodes implanted in her spine, Dr Meloy then applied varying currents and asked for Js feedback. Although J did experience some tingling sensations, nothing hit the spot.

After the operation J and the other two women were given some quality time with their partners in a hotel to experiment with the Orgasmatron. Toward the end of the week J became more frustrated with herself and while her partner was supportive he felt helpless.

Now I’m no psychiatrist but I do have a good understanding of psychology and body language. I really felt for J, I could see the hurt, anger, frustration, and vulnerability in her eyes. I could also see the tension, lots of tension.

The female sexual response is very complex and as J has never experienced an orgasm during sex with a partner, she does not know what to expect, she is not familiar with her sexual response, and she needs to learn this, through guided therapy, not through a device.

I sensed that J for whatever reason never grew up sexually in an emotional/psychological sense; to me she came across as still very much a child on a sexual level, and very uncomfortable with responding sexually.

Although I appreciate taking part in the trial would have been Js decision, inwardly I was outraged. How could the Orgasmatron device even begin to help J heal her sexual self.

Would you go for the operation?

Orgasmatron, the instant ‘O’

2005-02-07T12:42:00.000Z

Today my mind has jumped to serious mode:

Tonight at 9pm Channel 4s Bodyshock series looks at ‘Orgasmatron’ a device that can generate spontaneous female orgasms at the touch of a button. Dr Stuart Meloy, a pain relief surgeon at Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in North Carolina, said his discovery had been a complete chance.

Dr Meloy was performing a pain-relief operation on a woman's spine when he made the discovery. “We implant electrodes into the spine and use electrical pulses to modify the pain signals passing along the nerves.” Patients remained conscious throughout the process to help the surgeons determine where best to place the electrodes to maximize pain relief.

During such a procedure with a particular female patient, as Dr Meloy was placing the electrodes the patient exclaimed “You're going to have to teach my husband to do that.”

It is estimated that up to forty percent of women suffer from some form of sexual dysfunction. About five to ten percent of women never have an orgasm through any type of sexual activity - a condition called anorgasmia.

In certain cases the inability to achieve orgasm is the result of some physical, medical, or hormonal problem. The Food and Drug Administration has approved the Eros system to be sold with a doctor's prescription only to treat female sexual arousal disorder – FSAD, (no prescription is required outside the United States).

However, research indicates that anorgasmia is most often the result of sexual inexperience, performance anxiety, or past experiences, such as sexual trauma or a strict upbringing, that have led to an inhibition of sexual response.

So is the invasive procedure Orgasmatron the answer? Will women who suffer from anorgasmia be truly satisfied by an orgasm generated by the push of a button? Taking in to consideration an underlying psychological problem is likely to already exist for sufferers of anorgasmia, what sort of long-term emotional and psychological effects would this type of orgasm have, not just for the women but also for their partners?

Whilst I believe that every woman has the right to be orgasmic, I also believe that every woman has the right to heal her sexual self and experience a natural orgasm, or as near to natural as is possible. In my opinion this is the only way a woman can truly share and experience her sexuality, by opening up to herself and her partner, on a physical, emotional, and mental level.

Wanted...

2005-02-04T10:31:00.000Z

Received this in an e-mail yesterday and thought I'd share:

Oh and for all you liberal funsters out there:

Sweet, and, low down

2005-02-03T09:22:00.000Z

Okay, sometimes I buy GQ magazine, why? Well to see what men (some, not all) are reading, and hell to salivate over the pictures of hot guys, seriously, for a guy magazine it has a good percentage of fit males adorning its pages.

Being touted as the sex issue the February edition kind of caught my eye. In among the sex pages several articles drew my attention and as is my want I will comment on one of them.

Apparently there are a lot of women out there who refuse to swallow; yes you know what I mean swallow – as in below the belly button and above the knees. Why? Well it all comes down… to a matter of taste.

Personally I love oral and I love to swallow, I find it very sensual and intimate, but I have to ask myself, have I been lucky in the taste stakes?

Thinking about it I do always tend to go out with guys who lead pretty healthy lives nutrition wise. As you may have seen from channel 4s you are what you eat, certain foods can affect your body odour, so why not your taste too.

So being the kind of girl that I am I’ve done a little research for all you young lovers out there.

For the sweetest semen:

Food/drink to avoid:
Red meat
Broccoli
Sprouts
Coffee
Chocs
Cigarettes (obviously not a food or drink, but hey)
Asparagus
Onions
Garlic
Dairy products
Chemically processed liquor

Food/drink to enjoy:
Plums
Oranges
Lemons
Limes
Cilantro (the leaf of the young coriander plant)
Spearmint
Grapefruit
Green tea
Beer (there is a god)
Wheat germ (increases seminal output)
Pineapple
Mangoes
Chamomile tea

If this just seems too much why not try a delicious fruit shake and consume about half an hour to an hour before oral.

Take a banana, one small papaya, and/or one small mango, some pineapple, a pear, one tbsp/15ml of wheat germ, mix with a little mango juice for desired consistency – of the fruit shake that is - whizz in a blender and ahem, swallow.

249. Wild Nights - Wild Nights!

2005-02-02T12:09:00.000Z

Looking back on my posts I noticed that purely by coincidence I’ve posted poems on a Wednesday, so here is another.

Emily Dickinson 1830-86

Wild Nights - Wild Nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!

Futile - the Winds -
To a Heart in port -
Done with the Compass -
Done with the Chart!

Rowing in Eden -
Ah, the Sea!
Might I but moor - Tonight -
In Thee!

20 Questions to a Better Personality

2005-02-01T11:54:00.000Z

Okay, it had to happen sooner or later so it might as well be sooner. Thanks to Müzikdüde I did the following test and have to say it’s pretty accurate. I don’t get the point of view thing as I often have several points of view on a particular issue as I tend to see the big picture. While I’m on tests, my MBTI type is ENFP

Wackiness: 56/100
Rationality: 50/100
Constructiveness: 74/100
Leadership: 68/100

You are a WECL--Wacky Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a People`s Advocate.

You are passionate about your causes, with a good heart and good endeavors. Your personal fire is contagious, and others wish they could be as dedicated to their beliefs as you are.

Your dedication may cause you to miss the boat on life's more slight and trivial activities. You will feel no loss when skipping some inane mixer, but it can be frustrating to others to whom such things are important. While you find it difficult to see other points of view, it may be useful to act as if you do, and play along once in a while.

In any event, you have buckets of charisma and a natural skill for making people open up. Your greatest asset is an ability to make progress while keeping the peace.

Of the 86121 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 6.1 % are this type.

Take the test

Money & Marriage

2005-01-31T18:39:00.000Z

Going back to a previous post The love business I read a follow-up article in the G2 section of the Guardian on Friday and I was interested to see that quite a few readers had emailed in with their comments.

One couple actually work out all their monthly expenses in advance and then split the total by the proportion of what they earn. I guess this is fair if as in this couples case the guy says that he considers his girlfriend to have chosen to earn less in a job she loves. It probably wouldn’t be so fair if the girlfriend was earning less because she chose to have some work/life balance and only worked part-time in order to also look after children.

A 30 year old English guy in a relationship with an Asian woman and currently living in Asia, says that it is normal for the woman to expect the man to be provider upon marrying. He goes on to say that men in Taiwan are pressured in to achieving status, this includes having a wife to give face to his public image, even if at home the wife rules.

Another woman started out her comment with “Brilliant article on partnerships and money. It made me weep for the women who bear the merchant banker's or the consultant's children.”

Her opinion was that other mammals put the needs of their children first, they do everything they can to ensure that their offspring grow up to be healthy, effective adults. But we humans get pre-occupied with anything and everything to do with status, children come somewhere down the ladder.

She finishes with “What would it take to convince the merchant banker and the consultant and the "sought-after designer" of Jenni Russell's article that caring for the next generation is work; the most important work anyone can ever do?”

Lastly a guy who has been married for 30 years says he has always let his wife manage their finances. He has never had to think about paying a utility bill, car tax, or insurance. He and his wife do occasionally discuss the overall financial picture, but anything else financial is only discussed when necessary.

His wife has never sought his permission to buy anything, including houses. He feels that managing the finances and the trust this bestows, helped encourage his wife to set up a business.

His approach is trust, equality of regard and mutual respect.

It is quite clear from reading the initial article and then reading these comments that we do think about the money/equality issue in relationships. My question is where does the money issue really come from what causes it to be there in the first place? I know the answer is not a simple one, and I know for sure that I don’t know the answer, but I will meditate and throw out some suggestions in a future post.

In the meantime, suggestions welcome.

Up close and personal

2005-01-28T17:40:00.000Z

I recently came across the book Digital Diaries; a photographic journey of sexual self exploration. The author and subject Natacha Merritt takes herself and us through an intimate, raw, frank, and tender visual voyage.

Anyone can take a picture of themselves in the buff having sex and slap it up on the web, but Natacha Merritt has created a sensual story through subjective observation of her sexuality and sexual needs.

Leave your prejudices at the door and step in to the world of Natacha Merritt

The love business

2005-01-27T15:27:00.000Z

I read an article in the G2 section of the Guardian earlier this week titled The love business. (I would link to it but it’s in the digital edition which is a paid for subscription service). The article written by Jenni Russell looks at the way money can and does create inequality in long-term relationships, particularly marriage.

I have to say that this issue is another very good reason as to why I have taken the long road to serial monogamy. I am fairly independent and I love my work, but I know that if I were to marry and procreate I would want to have the option of being able to take time out to be a mother – at least in the early pre-school years.

On choosing this option I suddenly go from being financially independent to being pretty much dependent on my partner, and as this article points out this leads to all sorts of underlying issues.

On the one hand you have the husband feeling stressed because he is now the provider; pre-occupied with making ends meet, tired, not spending enough time with the children, on the other hand you have the wife feeling dependent and at the same time undervalued for everything she does around the home, overlooked – it’s the same as any business – if you’re not generating revenue you’re not seen to be directly adding value.

Of course in most parts of the world life is not the same for women as it was 50 years ago. I would also have the choice to remain at work, generate revenue, split all bills down the middle and keep a fair amount of financial independence – as long as my husband was a new, new, man. From a financial perspective this does seem to be the better alternative, pool all resources and view the marriage as a real team effort, working together as a unit. This way also probably inspires a feeling of equality, which is what today’s woman seeks.

But I guess my point is that I would still like to have the option to choose without feeling that if I chose the former it would be because I would want to be actively involved in bringing up ‘our children’ to give them the best possible emotional, educational, etc., start in life, and not because I would want to give up my financial independence. I think that a smart marriage should still be able to work as a team on this level and treat each other as equals.

Of course I am happy in my serial monogamist life, but as a thinking woman I will always have my opinions :)

May I feel said he

2005-01-26T17:08:00.000Z

Today I thought I would simply share a naughty poem.

E.E. Cummings 1894 - 1962

may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she

(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she

(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)

may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she

but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she

(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she

(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)

2005-01-25T19:08:00.000Z

Have faith?

2005-01-25T18:50:00.000Z

“Four of the most ambitious, striking and costly works of religious art commissioned by a British cathedral in the last 50 years will be revealed in St Paul’s this evening.”

The 22ft high paintings are to be placed centre stage on the walls at the head of the nave, near the dome.

The dean of St Paul’s Dr. John Moses hopes the paintings “will appeal to people that believe that we live in a pretty tormented world.”

Well yes, the world that we live in is pretty tormented, but I thought that religious people sought comfort in their faith and sacred places of worship, away from the tormented world; I wonder whether such people will be able to see what is comforting in this costly work of religious art.

KISS

2005-01-24T23:14:00.000Z

The KISS principle - "Keep it Simple, Stupid" is a popular maxim often invoked when discussing design. Humans want products; software, furniture, cars, etc to be easy to use.

One reading this article it would seem that this principle also applies to what men look for in a potential wife:

“In spite of emancipation, the feminist movement, gender equality, staunch efforts to avoid gender-stereotyping, men still prefer to marry women who are not too brainy.”

A study by four British universities indicates that if a woman has a high IQ she is less attractive as marriage material, “with a 40 per cent drop in marital prospects for every 16-point rise.”

I have to say a smile came across my face as I was reading this article, as Margaret Cook the writer of the article pointed out, it is funny how it’s automatically assumed that men don’t want to marry brainy women, as opposed to brainy women not wanting to marry. My preference would be to go with the latter as I can think of quite a few famous marriages where joint intellect brought about great achievements.

Alfred Lunt and Lynn Fontanne, Pierre and Marie Curie, Anne Morrow and Charles A. Lindbergh, DeWitt and Lila Acheson Wallace, Martin and Osa Johnson, Sir Winston and Lady Churchill, and I think most of these were early 20th century marriages, so surely late 20th century and 21st century marriages will have advanced.

In addition and in general most of a child’s pre-school education will be down to the mother, so why would any intelligent guy want to marry a not too brainy woman, a child’s early years; the informative years are so important.

Furthermore any intelligent guy is going to want to enjoy intelligent conversation with his wife, as well as lively banter, and quick wit and repartee.

No I’m sticking with the brainy women not wanting to marry, or perhaps to view it another way, brainy women will only choose to be in a relationship of equals.

Elvis by the Presleys

2005-01-21T13:11:00.000Z

Twenty-seven years after his death, Elvis Presley remains one of the
worlds most beloved and iconic figures. Let’s face it he had the looks, the voice, and the moves; boy did he have the moves. Now for the first time, Elvis the man revealed, the husband, the father and the artist is remembered intimately and honestly by those who knew him best - his ex wife Priscilla, daughter Lisa Marie and other close family members.

“CBS, SONY BMG, Random House Publishers and the Elvis Presley Estate have united in a multi-tiered effort to celebrate the life and legacy of Elvis Presley with the television special, a mini-series, a commemorative 2 CD set and a lavish book all coming in May.”

Now I wouldn’t say I’m an ardent fan but I will be pre-ordering my copy of 'Elvis by the Presleys'. Here was one interesting, complex, and extraordinary man who became the King of Rock and Roll.

Elvis by the Presleys, the new television special, will be broadcasted on the CBS Television Network on Friday, May 13th. It is expected to be broadcasted in the UK at a date yet to be confirmed.

“Before Elvis there was nothing”
John Lennon

Rules of attraction

2005-01-20T16:23:00.000Z

I was socialising with a group of thirtysomething year old girlfriends the other evening and as does happen often the topic of conversation got round to men, or rather what really attracts us to a guy.

After we got over snickering about the obvious lewd reasons we got down to some serious thinking and found that for each of us the rules of attraction was very similar.

Purely on a visual basis nice eyes, hair, mouth, teeth, and hands came up as being important but we agreed that the guy need not be typically handsome, it was more important that the individual features of the face look good together.

Interestingly enough most of us (bar one) said we preferred dark hair and dark eyes, something do to with looking more intense, and on a sub-conscious level I wonder whether its connected with looking more Mediterranean.

Height seemed to be a subjective issue; we just preferred guys who were either the same height or taller than ourselves but over 6 foot 5 inches was getting a bit too tall… something to do with certain sexual positions, you see we do think hard on these matters.

No surprise in finding out that we all saw fit guys as more attractive, but we girls prefer lean and toned as opposed to chunky muscles, you see rippling muscles with a six pack not required just lean and toned in all the right places.

Personality wise we decided to go for the top five otherwise the list could have been quite extensive. Sense of humour was top of the must haves for attraction; we just love to be made to laugh. Being loving was second, affectionate third, sociable fourth and intelligent fifth.

Status, this again was interesting because we all agreed that yes if a guy has a good job and makes good money it is attractive but status in the form of a highly paid career is not an absolute must for attraction. A guy who is solvent, enjoys his job, knows how to apply himself, and is not highly stressed is most definitely attractive.

Oh yeah! Last but not least, unmarried, unattached, and completely available is quite attractive too!