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Name: Opus
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Untamed Symphony
| my mind in motion | deep | light | controversial | outrageous | witty | naughty | a chorus of free thought

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Web of deceit

It was always decreed by those who understood its potential that the Internet would change our lives. It offers us information at the click of a mouse; it takes seconds to find out what movies are showing at the local cinema, minutes to look up and start communicating with old friends from school, and about 7 days to start an illicit affair… with a man.

In a survey conducted “with 847 people who had had online affairs (70% of them women), 79% said they'd originally gone into the chatrooms just for a lark. But 56% had begun one-to-one communication with the new friend they'd met there in the space of a week; 59% had met in person. Often within a few hours of meeting, 49% had begun a physical relationship.”

There are now a number of online dating agencies specifically targeted towards married women seeking extramarital sex, so what drives married women in to a web of deceit?

Women want to revisit the passion and lust of a new physical relationship and enjoy the thrill of the chase. Some even secretly enjoy the lies and deceit; it adds a risk – a big risk, to an otherwise hum drum marriage.

Some women want to improve their marital sex life and so have a brief encounter in the hope that it will re-awaken the goddess within.

Many women – typically those in their forties and above, are sexual goddesses, they know who they are and what they want, they’re just not getting it at home, perhaps married to a much older spouse whose libido is simply not what it used to be.

The main drivers seem to be a need for attention - the kind of attention a woman perhaps no longer gets from her husband - the need to step outside of a normal everyday existence – to feel alive again. Quality of sex, quantity of sex, opportunity, and an unsatisfactory domestic situation.


To me it looks as though men and women are driven to affairs for very similar reasons, yet media and popular culture would have us believe we’re so different, men being from Mars and women being from Venus.

So going back to a previous post
Love without limits and taking in to consideration that monogamy is non-existent in the majority of marriages, is the future looking polyamorous?

Inspiration for post - The Sunday Times Magazine February 13, 2005 ‘
The Secret Lives of Wives

posted by Opus at 18:57

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