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Name: Opus
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Untamed Symphony
| my mind in motion | deep | light | controversial | outrageous | witty | naughty | a chorus of free thought

Monday, February 28, 2005

Ignorance is bliss?

I previously posted my thoughts on this topic in KISS. Research shows that intelligent, attractive, high earning; capable women are at a disadvantage in the marriage arena. This is an article from the Independent by Andrew Johnson and Jonathan Thompson.


-------------------------------------

They have been dubbed the "Alpha female" and they have it all: good looks, successful careers, sharp minds and bulging bank accounts. But they have one problem: men do not want to marry them.

Research at four British universities shows that women with high IQs are less likely to get married than those with lower ones.


Researchers from Aberdeen, Bristol, Edinburgh and Glasgow universities discovered that high-IQ women saw their marriage prospects fall dramatically, but that men with high IQs had little trouble finding a partner. They found that for each 16-point rise in a girl's IQ, her marriage prospects declined by 40 per cent. But the boys' chances of marriage increased by 35 per cent with each 16-point rise.


The marital prospects of the so-called Alpha female last night prompted a debate among academics and feminists about why men are steering clear of a generation of female high achievers.


Despite the emergence of the so-called new man ­ those at ease with modern womanhood ­ the research has revealed that Alpha females are being shunned because men are scared that they will not be in control.


Another theory is that Alpha females are being avoided because men are biologically wired to avoid successful partners because of the threat of infidelity, one that could leave them bringing up a child who is not their own.


"The pattern is consistent with the possibility that there were reproductive advantages for males who preferred to form long-term relationships with relatively subordinate partners," said Stephanie Brown, a social psychologist researching the subject.


"These findings support the widespread belief that powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less-accomplished women."


The trend follows US studies that showed the problems high-earning New York women had finding partners.

Dr Linda Papadopoulos, a behavioural psychologist and relationships expert, said that Alpha females should carry some of the blame for their unwanted single status.

"If women have invested a certain amount in their career, it's going to take a hell of a lot for Mr Right to sweep them off their feet, because they've got more to lose," she said. "Women in this situation need to be honest with themselves and know what they're really looking for. Maybe they should be looking for someone who complements them, rather than hoping for someone who completes them."


But such comments last night prompted a furious row among experts on the subject. Beatrix Campbell, a feminist writer, poured scorn on the theory that men were worried about bringing up the wrong baby.


"It's nothing to do with biology," she said. "Men's expectation of a marriage is that they will be taken care of. The idea that men will care for and protect their partner is a great trick on women.


"They assume that men want to protect them. But their experience is that men want to be taken care of. Even now if a man is living with a successful partner, the woman will be doing all of the child care and housework."


Marcelle d'Argy Smith, broadcaster and ex-Cosmopolitan editor was not surprised that high-flying women had difficulties. "Of course men don't want to marry Alpha females: it means they might not get looked after. Equality was only ever a female ideal. What's wrong with the single life?"


And the author Kathy Lette said: "I've always suspected a man's ideal wife is his secretary ­ as we know how men love a woman they can dictate to. And now this his research backs up this theory."


However, Professor Lisa Jardine, an academic and broadcaster who has been married for 22 years, poured cold water on the suggestions that somehow Alpha women were losing out on love.


"I truly, truly, don't believe it," she said. "I'm an Alpha female and I feel fortunate to have been immensely successful with my career and earnings, and to have found that that has no impact whatsoever on the fabulous nature of my partnership."


'Men are scared of a strong woman'


Bibi Lynch, 38, is a successful journalist and TV presenter who describes herself as a "card-carrying Alpha female".

She has a flat "I love" in London and what she describes as a more-than-healthy social life, but has been single for five years.

"There are a lot of men that are scared and intimidated," she says. "At first they seem to like that you're an Alpha female - you're smart, with a great job and have an opinion. But that also seems to be the deal-breaker. I know an awful lot of women who have great jobs and homes. They are everything that our mothers told us to strive for. But a lot are single, and they could walk into any bar and attract all the men in there."

Ms Lynch's dating experience supports the theory that some men can't cope with a successful woman. "I had someone say 'you're in a different league to me', and now he's going out with a student," she says. "I didn't meet that many men that I wanted to go out with, but the men I did liked me in the early stages. They were enjoying what I had to offer and showing me off to their friends. Then it could start to be too much. One man I spoke to said he enjoyed bantering with Alpha females, but added that you only banter for the first few weeks of a relationship."

But there is hope in a younger generation of men. "Some men may find Alpha women hard work. They are not going to take any rubbish. The socialising role for men to be breadwinners and protective is still in place. And they want women like their mums. That doesn't reflect well on certain men, although I do think younger men have a different mindset.

"It doesn't put me off men. It's better to be on your own than with the wrong person. I'd always be prepared to wait for someone special. Alpha females are a great thing. It's great that we are equal, clever and funny."

-------------------------------------

Now if you’ve been following my posts then you’ll know that I’m 37 and have been a serial monogamist for 21 years. What you won’t know is that I have a high IQ , stand at 5’ 10”, have a sharp mind and used to me a model (although looking back I only did modelling seriously for about 4 years, not really the right career for a gal with a high IQ), but you get the picture.

I have quite happily stood back and watched all of my close girlfriends follow the traditional route, find a nice young man with the potential to be a good provider, get married, start a family and commit to a very conventional, stereotypical man woman relationship.

At a very early age I realised that this sort of set-up would not satisfy me and I have thankfully stood by my values. I understand my own truths and I know that only a relationship of equals will make me happy. I am not looking for a man to be a good provider; I seek a relationship where we both provide equally, where we both nurture equally, where we are both able to stimulate each other equally; mentally and physically. I do not want to lead or be lead, but walk side-by-side.

I have sensed that a lot of men would not feel comfortable with this way; in general they have been conditioned by their experience of childhood to aspire to the provider role, while women in general aspire to the nurturer role, but the two roles are not mutually exclusive.

I still believe its 6 of one and half a dozen of the other – many men don’t feel comfortable with the Alpha female, but just as many Alpha females choose not to marry.

In a sense I do feel that this imbalance of values and aspirations is a shame, because as my previous post mentioned, there have been many equal marriages of note, where an equal partnership has enabled the individuals to achieve great things… together.

posted by Opus at 15:03 | |

Friday, February 25, 2005

Friday fun

Book Game by Texas Biscuit

Here are the rules:
  1. Grab the nearest book.
  2. Open the book to page 123.
  3. Find the fifth sentence.
  4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
  5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

I could’ve kept some party music, but that would’ve just tried to boost me up, all this thin kind of ‘Tss-tss-tss,’ music. You get all boosted up, convinced you’re going to win in life, then the song’s over and you discover you fucken lost. That’s why you end up playing those songs over and over, in case you didn’t know.

Vernon God Little – DBC Pierre

------------------------------------

The Lobeprobe

There is no adding numbers together or subtraction… only
Lobeprobing

posted by Opus at 11:15 | |

Thursday, February 24, 2005

New balls!

Is there something in the air?

I have read two news items recently about vengeful women taking it upon themselves to remove their (ex) partners manhood.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage after her former boyfriend, Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a drunken house party. She yanked off his left testicle, which was later handed to him by a friend with the words: "That's yours."

-------------------------------------

A 44-year-old Anchorage man had his penis surgically reattached after it was cut off by an angry girlfriend. The pair had been arguing over an impending break-up. At some point, the two decided to have sex and the man agreed to let the woman tie his arms to a windowsill. The woman used a kitchen knife to amputate her partner's penis and flushed it down the toilet.

There was also the Bobbitt special back in 1993.

Now I can appreciate that some men can be complete bastards, but to start slicing up a guys private parts is something only a crazy woman would do.

So guys if you can’t keep your pecker in your pants, make sure you’re with a girl who can keep her knife in the kitchen.

posted by Opus at 14:51 | |

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

For your pleasure...

Hmm, may have overdone it slightly on changing the colours, not sure, but I was bored with the colours I had and my favourite colours are deep reds and purples, so I’ll see how it goes. Nothing to do with the results of yesterday’s seduction test, just a coincidence.

I’ve come over all considerate today, a delayed reaction after reading this article in the Sunday Times Style Magazine:

Considering the dedication with which we men pursue orgasms, it’s odd that we almost never try to describe them. Women, supposedly less orgasm-obsessed, give long, lyrical descriptions of their whole-body orgasmic experiences. Yet, for thousands of years, when even sensitive, articulate male writers have reached the sticky bits of their sex scenes, they weirdly change their point of view and start going on about the ecstatic vaginal fireworks show that they imagine exploding within their lover’s loins.

What is going on here? By far the most likely explanation for men’s reticence is that, frankly, the male orgasm is rubbish. Nature gave us the desire to ejaculate with tedious regularity, yet she also ensured that the experience, though addictive, would be a bit piffling — a cunning method to get us to have sex and spread our seed as frequently as possible. But however transitory and unsatisfying the male orgasm is, we get to see women go through the 5, 10, 30 seconds of face-contorted, white-knuckle yes, yessss ... then bliss. Sometimes, we feel the aftershocks in their vagina for even longer. We hear them purr contentedly in the afterglow. And, while we might feel rather smug for having played our part, real or imagined, we also somehow sense that we were at a different party.

For those of you who don’t know, let me explain what the male orgasm is like. It starts with an irritable sensation in our testicles and the end of our penis. WH Auden memorably called this “the intolerable neural itch”. Try to analyse the “itch” and it soon becomes apparent that it consists of little more than a large body of semen hollering to get out and go swimming as fast as possible. The mechanism by which this cargo of gunge will be released is as crudely sensitive as it is simple. It is so eager to go that, often, especially when we are young and eager, it will happen before we have even got our trousers off. But whether our sperm makes its exit in that undignified manner, or as a result of well done sex, or badly done sex, or, indeed, in the course of a good solo session, the sensation is identical. There is a slight, sweet/sour twitch from the prostate gland; a rather pleasant muscular gurgle from the testicles, followed within nanoseconds by a reasonably satisfying liquid rush the length of the old John Thomas; then, a further fraction of a second later, a moderately agreeable liquid awareness around the tip. And that, other than a few moments in a lifetime when there may be an extra fusillade within the same orgasm (typically, when we have avoided ejaculation for a lengthy period), is it. There follows a brief spell when we feel content and sleepy, and our prostate (if we are aware of its existence, which most of us aren’t, until it starts to go wrong in our forties) aches in quite a nice way.

That level of after-sales service tends to last no more than a few minutes or hours before the urge builds up again. The lasting thing, the satisfying thing, for men is not so much the scratching of that neural itch, but the (admittedly vain) feeling of having impressed, amazed, delighted, whatever, a woman you like and want to please. I am almost sorry to admit this, but more than 30 years of sex have convinced me that the male orgasm in itself is not much more satisfying than a desperately needed wee. It is my strongly held conviction, having been doing this stuff since the mullet haircut was unironically fashionable, that, because of the disappointing nature of their orgasms, it is men who crave the romantic garnish of the slow build-up, the wistful gazing, the expression of undying love around their sexual meat and two veg. Women, however, blessed with a vastly more satisfying orgasmic mechanism, are able to be more pragmatic about enjoying sex for sex’s sake.

If, and admittedly it is a big if, a woman is with a man who knows what he is doing, she will get enough physical payback from the deal to keep her happy for days afterwards and won’t be bothered by the lack of romance, let alone love. Heterosexual men are increasingly less into sex and more into love; women, more into sex and less into love. This is entirely to do with the vastly better quality of the female orgasm compared with the male version. I have talked to men about having sex with prostitutes, which many women mistakenly believe is the male ideal. Most men find it far less enjoyable than they believe it will be. Emotionally uninvolved sex is a letdown for men.

I was discussing these matters with a female friend the other day. I thought she might be the one to undermine my theory. She is a fairly traditional, monogamous, moral, quite religious girl, who, while deeply involved with her career, will admit she is also actively husband-hunting. I put my view to her that sex without a backdrop of, at least, deep affection and, at best, love, is a waste of time and we would all be better off doing it for ourselves. She couldn’t have agreed less. “I’m totally faithful to my boyfriends,” she said, “and I will practise and demand complete loyalty from my husband. In my experience, though, there’s absolutely nothing to beat a night of good, old-fashioned sex with a guy who’s really good and makes me come lots, but who leaves when he’s told — and doesn’t start phoning and e-mailing the next day and becoming a nuisance.” Vive, as they say, la différence.


Now I can appreciate that the guy who wrote this article was generalising here but it got me thinking. Biologically it makes perfectly good sense that a guy has this frequent need to spread his seed, but it doesn’t make sense that the actual mechanism for spreading it should not be as enjoyable as the female mechanism for receiving it. Yes, this is why we girls have orgasms, they increase the likelihood of conception at ovulation, oh and they are emotionally bonding, so I guess we just like to do a lot of bonding, but I digress.

So how does a guy learn to experience a more mind, body rush of orgasmic energy similar to that of a woman? Well as you can imagine this is a big topic and I couldn’t possibly attempt to cover it in this post, but briefly.

First of all you’ll need to be open to getting in touch with your feminine side, makes sense no. Adopt a more sensual approach to your love-making. If you always tend to view ejaculation as the end result requirement of sex, change your view slightly, stop chasing your orgasm and let your orgasm come to you.

Masturbate, as if I have to tell you to do that… but don’t just stick to your usual routine, play around and use different techniques and rhythms so that you can explore your sexual response, if you’re adventurous use toys, if you’re not adventurous, get adventurous.

Orgasmic girls do all of this and probably a lot more besides, in general being orgasmic is not inherent for women, it is something we learn.

Of course a man will never experience an orgasm like that of a female, but with enthusiasm, time, patience and experience a man can definitely experience the best male orgasm possible.

For your pleasure:
Maximum Orgasm DVD

Jonathan Margolis
O: The Intimate History of the Orgasm

This article has raised other thoughts in my mind, which I will of course share in a future post.

posted by Opus at 10:53 | |

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Siren

Yes I’ve tweaked the colours. Well after doing this test I thought my blog should embrace a few colours more befitting for a siren. I’m still cogitating on yesterdays post – quite a long article – but I can already hear my mind and some interesting thoughts are taking shape, but for today I give you the siren.


Your Seduction Style: Siren




You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many.
The minute you meet anyone, you can make them crave you almost immediately.
You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss.
A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract.

posted by Opus at 11:12 | |

Monday, February 21, 2005

Opposites detract... in the long term

I read this article last week and thought it was very interesting. I'm going to cogitate on it some more and will share my thoughts in a future post.

Do people tend to select romantic partners that are similar to them or opposite to them? And does spouse similarity lead to marital happiness? In one of the most comprehensive studies ever undertaken on these questions, researchers at the University of Iowa find that people tend to marry those who are similar in attitudes, religion and values. However, it is similarity in personality that appears to be more important in having a happy marriage. The findings appear in the February issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association (APA).

Psychologist Eva C. Klohnen, Ph.D., and graduate student Shanhong Luo, M.A., of the University of Iowa looked at assortative mating issues (mating based on similar or opposite characteristics) among 291 newlyweds who had participated in the Iowa Marital Assessment Project. The newlyweds had been married less than a year at the time the study began and had dated each other for an average of three and a half years. The couples were assessed on a broad range of personality characteristics, attitudes and relationship quality indicators.

Results show that couples were highly similar on attitudes and values; however, they had little or no above-chance similarity on personality-related domains such as attachment, extraversion, conscientiousness and positive or negative emotions. There is no evidence that opposites attract. What is most intriguing is that when the researchers assessed marital quality and happiness, they found that personality similarity was related to marital satisfaction, but attitude similarity was not.

"People may be attracted to those who have similar attitudes, values, and beliefs and even marry them – at least in part – on the basis of this similarity because attitudes are highly visible and salient characteristics and they are fundamental to the way people lead their lives," explain the authors. Personality-related characteristics, on the other hand, take much longer to be known and to be accurately perceived and are not likely to play a more substantial role until later in the relationship, they add.

"However, once people are in a committed relationship, it is primarily personality similarity that influences marital happiness because being in a committed relationship entails regular interaction and requires extensive coordination in dealing with tasks, issues and problems of daily living. Whereas personality similarity is likely to facilitate this process, personality differences may result in more friction and conflict in daily life," say the authors. "As far as attitudes are concerned, people who chose to marry each other should be well aware of how similar or different they are on these domains because attitudes are very visible and salient. This suggests that attitudinal and value differences, when they exist, are part of a conscious decision to stay together on the basis of other important considerations, according to Luo and Klohnen.

Given that their research indicates that similarity in attitudes and values may play a different role in relationship development than does personality similarity, Luo and Klohnen suggest that future research should examine how similarity in different domains are related to relationship outcomes for couples in earlier and later stages of relationship development.

Full text of the article is available at http://www.apa.org/journals/releases/psp882304.pdf

Source: http://www.eurekalert.org

posted by Opus at 15:10 | |

Friday, February 18, 2005

Natural porn lover

It was a $25,000 movie that became a $600 million phenomenonInside Deep Throat

It caused an administration to declare war on freedom

It turned buying a ticket into an act of revolution

Deep Throat is generally considered the most profitable motion picture of all time. The movie was released in 1972 and coincided with a time of sexual revolution. “This sexually explicit film unexpectedly became the flashpoint for an unprecedented social and political firestorm – a major cultural phenomenon whose impact continues to affect us today.”

The documentary Inside Deep Throat examines the chasm between the modest intentions of the movie’s makers and the unforeseen legacy they inadvertently created. Released in the U.S. on February 11th, attendance has been high. In the UK, Momentum plan to release the documentary in cinemas in June.


Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was born in the summer of sex drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, yes, so I’m told, 1967 was a great year. Just imagine all that sexual energy man as I entered the cosmos, inhale deeply and let it out slow.

I’m not prude I’m very liberal and I think that porn done well has its place in society. Porn is not new, it has been around in various forms since humans evolved; initially through drawing and writing with the first nude photos appearing in 1845, these were distributed at art dealerships, instrument makers, and opticians – well I guess its one way of testing a guys eyesight!

Early porn photography was predominantly focused towards men, depicting a variety of hetero, lesbian, and homo acts. Of course modern porn has moved on some and although the female market is still not hugely catered for, there are about 30 women directors producing porn with the female viewer in mind, Candida Royalle being one.


Women do watch porn, a report by Nielsen NetRatings – a company that measures and analyzes Internet usage, showed that 1 in 3 users of porn were women. Over 9 million American women accessed adult sites in September 2003 alone. At Good Vibrations a female owned pleasure box of sexual goodies, women account for 80% of the porn rental and purchase market.

I’d certainly like to see more ‘good’ porn for women. Done well, meaning – good plot, good script, good actors, sexy scenarios, erotic locations and of course great sex - it’s visually arousing, sensual and fun. The music is always an anti climax though please can someone sort out the music.

posted by Opus at 19:15 | |

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Big Hair & Beyond

Big Hair & Beyond is the theme of Red Nose Day 2005, the idea is that on Friday 11th March you change the way you normally look for one day – the bigger and redder the hair the better, and of course the Red Nose is obligatory. I’ve always enjoyed this fundraising event for Comic Relief, its so much fun to take part and you can get involved as much or a little as you like.

All the UK’s top comedy talent including, Little Britain stars Matt Lucas and David Williams, Peter Kay, Dawn French, Ricky Gervais, Lenny Henry, Ruby Wax, as well as presenters Jonathan Ross, Davina McCall, Chris Evans and Liza Tarbuck will be hitting the screens in honour of the Red Nose.

For the past few years the Internet has played a part in raising the awareness of this event – agencies submit a viral challenge in the form of a Flash game, or a video, and then the public votes for their favourite. Of the five finalists this year three are games, but be warned, Speedy Relief in particular is highly addictive.

http://www.rednoseday.com/viralchallenge/index.shtml

Red Nose Day 2005

posted by Opus at 15:50 | |

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Sensual Woman

click here to play music file

Oh my mind it flits from serious to naughty in about a nanosecond. I was listening to this last night and would like to share it with you all today. The track on the CD I have - Blue Bar Vol. 1 - is an edited version so you won’t hear all the lyrics below but you’ll get the idea. I hope you have speakers, sit back, or perhaps lie back, and enjoy.

Sensual Woman - Herbaliser

To become aware of my own sensuality,

I first become fully aware of my own tactile sense.
In dim light, I close my eyes and remove my clothes.

Do I lose his respect for being so wild?
Hardly. He treats me like a rare and precious jewel.
And he goes through the day proud of the fact, that with me,
He is the world's most imaginative lover.

Men pick amazing places for sexual adventure.
The wildest adventure proposed to me was in a bathtub which was full of Jello!
All I could think of, was how many boxes it would take?
What would be the most alluring colour?
The most delicious flavour?
And how could that affect our oral explorations?
If the Jello gets firm, would I bounce?

As you look around for what's new and different,
Remember these three important weapons that should be learned to keep a man in love.
Imagination, sensitivity to his moods and desires,
And the courage to experiment with new sexual techniques,
Enticing situations and places.

Lovemaking is physical, and so is its language.
Suck, cock, fuck, and prick, are not bad words.
Used in the bedroom by lovers to describe parts of the body,
And physical activities,
They are very proper indeed, and they distinctly enhance sex.
Overhaul a prudish attitude.
Don't whistle and stick up your nose, at least, not up in the air?

posted by Opus at 10:46 | |

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Web of deceit

It was always decreed by those who understood its potential that the Internet would change our lives. It offers us information at the click of a mouse; it takes seconds to find out what movies are showing at the local cinema, minutes to look up and start communicating with old friends from school, and about 7 days to start an illicit affair… with a man.

In a survey conducted “with 847 people who had had online affairs (70% of them women), 79% said they'd originally gone into the chatrooms just for a lark. But 56% had begun one-to-one communication with the new friend they'd met there in the space of a week; 59% had met in person. Often within a few hours of meeting, 49% had begun a physical relationship.”

There are now a number of online dating agencies specifically targeted towards married women seeking extramarital sex, so what drives married women in to a web of deceit?

Women want to revisit the passion and lust of a new physical relationship and enjoy the thrill of the chase. Some even secretly enjoy the lies and deceit; it adds a risk – a big risk, to an otherwise hum drum marriage.

Some women want to improve their marital sex life and so have a brief encounter in the hope that it will re-awaken the goddess within.

Many women – typically those in their forties and above, are sexual goddesses, they know who they are and what they want, they’re just not getting it at home, perhaps married to a much older spouse whose libido is simply not what it used to be.

The main drivers seem to be a need for attention - the kind of attention a woman perhaps no longer gets from her husband - the need to step outside of a normal everyday existence – to feel alive again. Quality of sex, quantity of sex, opportunity, and an unsatisfactory domestic situation.


To me it looks as though men and women are driven to affairs for very similar reasons, yet media and popular culture would have us believe we’re so different, men being from Mars and women being from Venus.

So going back to a previous post
Love without limits and taking in to consideration that monogamy is non-existent in the majority of marriages, is the future looking polyamorous?

Inspiration for post - The Sunday Times Magazine February 13, 2005 ‘
The Secret Lives of Wives

posted by Opus at 18:57 | |

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine’s!

click here to play music file

As its Valentine’s Day I thought I would treat you all to the Dame of love songs Shirley Bassey. If you want to surprise your loved one send them a link to this site, the words and music say it all. When sending to your lady just tell her to replace ‘he’ with ‘she’, as the song is addressed to a man, but I’m sure she’ll understand - it’s the thought that counts.

You’ll have to forgive me, but the track is taken from a compilation CD where each track is mixed in to the next so it goes in to a few seconds of the next track before starting over.

Oh and if anyone knows who wrote the lyrics I’d love to know. I imagine it’s a poem, but by who?

Link:
http://untamedsymphony.blogspot.com/

Shirley Bassey

Where Do I Begin (Love Story)

by Unknown

Where do I begin?
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love he brings to me
Where do I start?

Like a summer rain
That cools the pavement with a patent leather shine
He came into my life and made the living fine
And gave a meaning to this empty world of mine
He fills my heart

He fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs, with wild imaginings
He fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely
With him along, who could be lonely
I reach for his hand, it's always there

How long does it last?
Can love be measured by the hours in a day?
I have no answers now, but this much I can say
I'm going to need him till the stars all burn away
And he'll be there

He fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs, with wild imaginings
He fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely
With him along, who could be lonely
I reach for his hand, it's always there

posted by Opus at 10:54 | |

Friday, February 11, 2005

BlogExplosion says no to censoring…

I was very happy to receive my update e-mail from BlogExplosion. They have decided to allow adult/mature content Blogs to join their traffic exchange, members can choose to view adult Blogs or not when surfing by changing the surf settings. So if you have a more adult oriented Blog what are you waiting for… click on the image below to join.


posted by Opus at 18:56 | |

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Love without Limits

“Hollywood couple Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have agreed a pact on extramarital sex. Have they discovered the key to a successful marriage?”

Well this is an interesting headline; I’m more interested in the subject matter of the article than in the subjects. We’ve all thought about it, whether in a long-term relationship or in a marriage, and we will probably go on thinking about it – and many acting on it in secret. My question is does this open style of relationship really ever work.

The article mentions a few famous people who do or did live this way, such as Terry Jones of Monty Python fame, who was in an open marriage for 34 years until his wife find out about his affair with a 22 year old Swedish student. And according to his daughter Nina, the actor Tom Conti has been in an open marriage for many years. “Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera also had an open marriage premised on a socialist rejection of a bourgeois institution.” The TV presenter Joan Bakewell had a seven year affair with Harold Pinter which inspired his play Betrayal.

Before I continue perhaps you’d like to take a peek at these statistics. These figures show that there’s a lot of cheating going on, I’m not surprised at all.

Some people just love cheating, I was reading a separate article in some magazine last week about a guy who aims, yes aims to have sex with a different woman at least once a week. He is married to a beautiful, intelligent wife but needs the thrill of anonymous dirty sex. I mean this guy is just having his cake and eating it, a bit too much cake though. But I digress.

Given the nature of sexual desire should we truly expect ourselves to be monogamous? When you first enter in to a new relationship its all lusty passion and sex, then the relationship deepens and the sex becomes emotional as well as passionate, and you fall in love, which is wonderful of course.

However, sexual desire is sexual desire; does it turn off simply because you are in a loving, intimate relationship? I don’t think so, what happens is many of us choose not to act on our desires because we have been conditioned to see this as being unfaithful, and because we would not want to hurt the one we love or lose their trust and respect. Just as many choose to cheat.

What if this was flipped on its head, what if it was seen as normal to act on your desires, I’m not talking promiscuity here. I’m talking about when you meet someone and you connect with them on a mental level and you also desire them (sort of like when you meet someone new), but because you’re already in a happy relationship/marriage you’re not looking to start something new, but you would like to experience sex with this person.

If you had a pact with your partner, you could discuss this, you let them know who it is and they either agree to it or they don’t. Would this work and if acted on what would the outcome be? Would there be jealousy? Would trust become an issue?

If at the beginning of a relationship we can separate love and sex, why can we not do this further down the line?

posted by Opus at 18:51 | |

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Progress

I was browsing through a traffic exchange site yesterday and on loading this site I was treated to audio pleasure. The song is called ‘Progress’ and is by a Christian band called Mute Math. I don’t follow any particular religion other than my own, but it is a beautiful song, with beautiful meaning, so if you have speakers [click here] and enjoy.

Pulling your confidence through
Some courage is well overdue
I believe solely in all your promise
Why waste a second in doubt
You could be helping you out
Keeping your head in the clear

Like an instrument for a song
Like the sun for tomorrow’s dawn
Every moment of time’s just an answer to find
What you’re here for, what you breathe for
What you wake for, what you bleed for

Everyone’s counting on you
Save for yourself what to do
Life is a card that you lay down sometimes
To search for the best way of all
Is finding the best way to fall
Keeping your head in the clear

Every moment of time’s just an answer to find
What you’re here for, what you breathe for
What you wake for, what you bleed for
What you hope for, what you live for
What you’re here for, what you breathe for, what you live for
What you’re here for, what you bleed for, what you live for

posted by Opus at 11:00 | |

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Orgasmatron

Well I have to say after watching Channel 4s Bodyshock my opinion regarding Orgasmatron is unchanged. In fact this is not quite accurate; my opinion is now much stronger against the use of such a quick fix device.

In the program 3 women took part in a week long trial, I will focus on J. J has never experienced an orgasm during sex with a partner; J didn’t even know about orgasms until she read an article in Cosmopolitan when she was 41. She is sometimes able to climax by masturbating in a kneeling position.

During the trial J went through the procedure of having the electrodes implanted in her spine, Dr Meloy then applied varying currents and asked for Js feedback. Although J did experience some tingling sensations, nothing hit the spot.

After the operation J and the other two women were given some quality time with their partners in a hotel to experiment with the Orgasmatron. Toward the end of the week J became more frustrated with herself and while her partner was supportive he felt helpless.

Now I’m no psychiatrist but I do have a good understanding of psychology and body language. I really felt for J, I could see the hurt, anger, frustration, and vulnerability in her eyes. I could also see the tension, lots of tension.

The female sexual response is very complex and as J has never experienced an orgasm during sex with a partner, she does not know what to expect, she is not familiar with her sexual response, and she needs to learn this, through guided therapy, not through a device.

I sensed that J for whatever reason never grew up sexually in an emotional/psychological sense; to me she came across as still very much a child on a sexual level, and very uncomfortable with responding sexually.

Although I appreciate taking part in the trial would have been Js decision, inwardly I was outraged. How could the Orgasmatron device even begin to help J heal her sexual self.

Would you go for the operation?


posted by Opus at 09:50 | |

Monday, February 07, 2005

Orgasmatron, the instant ‘O’

Today my mind has jumped to serious mode:

Tonight at 9pm Channel 4s Bodyshock series looks at ‘Orgasmatron’ a device that can generate spontaneous female orgasms at the touch of a button. Dr Stuart Meloy, a pain relief surgeon at Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in North Carolina, said his discovery had been a complete chance.

Dr Meloy was performing a pain-relief operation on a woman's spine when he made the discovery. “We implant electrodes into the spine and use electrical pulses to modify the pain signals passing along the nerves.” Patients remained conscious throughout the process to help the surgeons determine where best to place the electrodes to maximize pain relief.

During such a procedure with a particular female patient, as Dr Meloy was placing the electrodes the patient exclaimed “You're going to have to teach my husband to do that.”

It is estimated that up to forty percent of women suffer from some form of sexual dysfunction. About five to ten percent of women never have an orgasm through any type of sexual activity - a condition called anorgasmia.

In certain cases the inability to achieve orgasm is the result of some physical, medical, or hormonal problem. The Food and Drug Administration has approved the Eros system to be sold with a doctor's prescription only to treat female sexual arousal disorder – FSAD, (no prescription is required outside the United States).

However, research indicates that anorgasmia is most often the result of sexual inexperience, performance anxiety, or past experiences, such as sexual trauma or a strict upbringing, that have led to an inhibition of sexual response.

So is the invasive procedure Orgasmatron the answer? Will women who suffer from anorgasmia be truly satisfied by an orgasm generated by the push of a button? Taking in to consideration an underlying psychological problem is likely to already exist for sufferers of anorgasmia, what sort of long-term emotional and psychological effects would this type of orgasm have, not just for the women but also for their partners?

Whilst I believe that every woman has the right to be orgasmic, I also believe that every woman has the right to heal her sexual self and experience a natural orgasm, or as near to natural as is possible. In my opinion this is the only way a woman can truly share and experience her sexuality, by opening up to herself and her partner, on a physical, emotional, and mental level.

posted by Opus at 12:42 | |

Friday, February 04, 2005

Wanted...

Received this in an e-mail yesterday and thought I'd share:




Oh and for all you liberal funsters out there:




posted by Opus at 10:31 | |

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Sweet, and, low down

Okay, sometimes I buy GQ magazine, why? Well to see what men (some, not all) are reading, and hell to salivate over the pictures of hot guys, seriously, for a guy magazine it has a good percentage of fit males adorning its pages.

Being touted as the sex issue the February edition kind of caught my eye. In among the sex pages several articles drew my attention and as is my want I will comment on one of them.

Apparently there are a lot of women out there who refuse to swallow; yes you know what I mean swallow – as in below the belly button and above the knees. Why? Well it all comes down… to a matter of taste.

Personally I love oral and I love to swallow, I find it very sensual and intimate, but I have to ask myself, have I been lucky in the taste stakes?

Thinking about it I do always tend to go out with guys who lead pretty healthy lives nutrition wise. As you may have seen from channel 4s you are what you eat, certain foods can affect your body odour, so why not your taste too.

So being the kind of girl that I am I’ve done a little research for all you young lovers out there.

For the sweetest semen:

Food/drink to avoid:
Red meat
Broccoli
Sprouts
Coffee
Chocs
Cigarettes (obviously not a food or drink, but hey)
Asparagus
Onions
Garlic
Dairy products
Chemically processed liquor

Food/drink to enjoy:
Plums
Oranges
Lemons
Limes
Cilantro (the leaf of the young coriander plant)
Spearmint
Grapefruit
Green tea
Beer (there is a god)
Wheat germ (increases seminal output)
Pineapple
Mangoes
Chamomile tea

If this just seems too much why not try a delicious fruit shake and consume about half an hour to an hour before oral.

Take a banana, one small papaya, and/or one small mango, some pineapple, a pear, one tbsp/15ml of wheat germ, mix with a little mango juice for desired consistency – of the fruit shake that is - whizz in a blender and ahem, swallow.

posted by Opus at 09:22 | |

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

249. Wild Nights - Wild Nights!

Looking back on my posts I noticed that purely by coincidence I’ve posted poems on a Wednesday, so here is another.

Emily Dickinson 1830-86


Wild Nights - Wild Nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!

Futile - the Winds -
To a Heart in port -
Done with the Compass -
Done with the Chart!

Rowing in Eden -
Ah, the Sea!
Might I but moor - Tonight -
In Thee!

posted by Opus at 12:09 | |

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

20 Questions to a Better Personality

Okay, it had to happen sooner or later so it might as well be sooner. Thanks to Müzikdüde I did the following test and have to say it’s pretty accurate. I don’t get the point of view thing as I often have several points of view on a particular issue as I tend to see the big picture. While I’m on tests, my MBTI type is ENFP


Wackiness: 56/100

Rationality: 50/100
Constructiveness: 74/100
Leadership: 68/100

You are a WECL--Wacky Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a People`s Advocate.


You are passionate about your causes, with a good heart and good endeavors. Your personal fire is contagious, and others wish they could be as dedicated to their beliefs as you are.

Your dedication may cause you to miss the boat on life's more slight and trivial activities. You will feel no loss when skipping some inane mixer, but it can be frustrating to others to whom such things are important. While you find it difficult to see other points of view, it may be useful to act as if you do, and play along once in a while.

In any event, you have buckets of charisma and a natural skill for making people open up. Your greatest asset is an ability to make progress while keeping the peace.

Of the 86121 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 6.1 % are this type.

Take the test

posted by Opus at 11:54 | |

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