about me
Name: Opus
Location: London, UK
Sun Cancer/Moon Aries
Year of The Goat
my links
previous posts
favourite posts
rings & directories
Listed on BlogShares
moon phase
currently clicking

help me evolve
Blogroll Me!
link to me!

Design by May
Modified by Opus
Comments Haloscan

eXTReMe Tracker
Powered by
Powered by Blogger
Untamed Symphony
| my mind in motion | deep | light | controversial | outrageous | witty | naughty | a chorus of free thought

Monday, January 10, 2005

Baby, baby, please!

Well another A-list celebrity marriage bites the dust; Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have decided to separate and released a statement - “After seven years together we have decided to separate. We would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media. This decision is the result of much thoughtful consideration. We happily remain committed and caring friends with great love and admiration for one another.”

The cause of the separation is thought to be Pitt’s unreciprocated desire to have children, while Aniston has expressed a desire to focus on her movie career, she has signed up to make six films back-to-back. Whatever the reason for their separation, (and the career/kids things may well be the reason), the news of it got me thinking on something kind of relative, no surprise there.

Today in western society women have much more choice and freedom than they did 50 years ago, and perhaps moreso if a good career has resulted in a certain degree of success. My own personal choice has been (to date), to live child-free, I have nothing against children and love chatting and being silly with the children of my family and friends.

At a very early stage in my life I decided that I wanted more, many women do aspire to settle down one day and start a family, my aspirations have always been broader than the self and the personal, I enjoy being independent and connected to what’s happening out there.

On a relationship level this choice has meant 21 years of serial monogamy and looking back sometimes I subconsciously chose men who were commitment phobic sensing that the question of marriage and children would never come up and I was right. Well in fact that’s not entirely accurate, the questions did come up, but only when socialising with friends and then I’d get “when are you two going to get married and have kids, it’s been what, four years now?” This comment often came up while socialising and then gradually I would notice a morphing of my commitment phobic boyfriend(s), then I’d sense that the questions might just come up, within a few months I’d go AWOL.

I’m not commitment phobic, I have simply never felt the maternal urge to procreate and I don’t particularly believe in marriage, does this make me weird, I don’t think so, in fact some of my friends (the same friends who in the past have questioned me), now think that I’m wise to have stood by my values and not followed the herd.
The problem is that at 37 years of age (and well preserved so I’m told), I’m in that zone, it doesn’t matter whether I look to younger guys, similar age guys, or older guys… they all have a mission for marriage and babies. I just want to have a healthy, loving, intimate relationship with a special guy without the need to create a mini me and spiral in to a life of mundane madness. For now if I’m asked any questions by boyfriends my best defence is, “have you seen the new drama desperate housewives on Channel 4, now your question was again?”

posted by Opus at 23:36

design by may / modified by opus