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Name: Opus
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Untamed Symphony
| my mind in motion | deep | light | controversial | outrageous | witty | naughty | a chorus of free thought

Monday, January 31, 2005

Money & Marriage

Going back to a previous post The love business I read a follow-up article in the G2 section of the Guardian on Friday and I was interested to see that quite a few readers had emailed in with their comments.

One couple actually work out all their monthly expenses in advance and then split the total by the proportion of what they earn. I guess this is fair if as in this couples case the guy says that he considers his girlfriend to have chosen to earn less in a job she loves. It probably wouldn’t be so fair if the girlfriend was earning less because she chose to have some work/life balance and only worked part-time in order to also look after children.

A 30 year old English guy in a relationship with an Asian woman and currently living in Asia, says that it is normal for the woman to expect the man to be provider upon marrying. He goes on to say that men in Taiwan are pressured in to achieving status, this includes having a wife to give face to his public image, even if at home the wife rules.

Another woman started out her comment with “Brilliant article on partnerships and money. It made me weep for the women who bear the merchant banker's or the consultant's children.”

Her opinion was that other mammals put the needs of their children first, they do everything they can to ensure that their offspring grow up to be healthy, effective adults. But we humans get pre-occupied with anything and everything to do with status, children come somewhere down the ladder.

She finishes with “What would it take to convince the merchant banker and the consultant and the "sought-after designer" of Jenni Russell's article that caring for the next generation is work; the most important work anyone can ever do?”

Lastly a guy who has been married for 30 years says he has always let his wife manage their finances. He has never had to think about paying a utility bill, car tax, or insurance. He and his wife do occasionally discuss the overall financial picture, but anything else financial is only discussed when necessary.

His wife has never sought his permission to buy anything, including houses. He feels that managing the finances and the trust this bestows, helped encourage his wife to set up a business.

His approach is trust, equality of regard and mutual respect.

It is quite clear from reading the initial article and then reading these comments that we do think about the money/equality issue in relationships. My question is where does the money issue really come from what causes it to be there in the first place? I know the answer is not a simple one, and I know for sure that I don’t know the answer, but I will meditate and throw out some suggestions in a future post.

In the meantime, suggestions welcome.

posted by Opus at 18:39 | |

Friday, January 28, 2005

Up close and personal

I recently came across the book Digital Diaries; a photographic journey of sexual self exploration. The author and subject Natacha Merritt takes herself and us through an intimate, raw, frank, and tender visual voyage.

Anyone can take a picture of themselves in the buff having sex and slap it up on the web, but Natacha Merritt has created a sensual story through subjective observation of her sexuality and sexual needs.

Leave your prejudices at the door and step in to the world of Natacha Merritt

posted by Opus at 17:40 | |

Thursday, January 27, 2005

The love business

I read an article in the G2 section of the Guardian earlier this week titled The love business. (I would link to it but it’s in the digital edition which is a paid for subscription service). The article written by Jenni Russell looks at the way money can and does create inequality in long-term relationships, particularly marriage.

I have to say that this issue is another very good reason as to why I have taken the long road to serial monogamy. I am fairly independent and I love my work, but I know that if I were to marry and procreate I would want to have the option of being able to take time out to be a mother – at least in the early pre-school years.

On choosing this option I suddenly go from being financially independent to being pretty much dependent on my partner, and as this article points out this leads to all sorts of underlying issues.

On the one hand you have the husband feeling stressed because he is now the provider; pre-occupied with making ends meet, tired, not spending enough time with the children, on the other hand you have the wife feeling dependent and at the same time undervalued for everything she does around the home, overlooked – it’s the same as any business – if you’re not generating revenue you’re not seen to be directly adding value.

Of course in most parts of the world life is not the same for women as it was 50 years ago. I would also have the choice to remain at work, generate revenue, split all bills down the middle and keep a fair amount of financial independence – as long as my husband was a new, new, man. From a financial perspective this does seem to be the better alternative, pool all resources and view the marriage as a real team effort, working together as a unit. This way also probably inspires a feeling of equality, which is what today’s woman seeks.

But I guess my point is that I would still like to have the option to choose without feeling that if I chose the former it would be because I would want to be actively involved in bringing up ‘our children’ to give them the best possible emotional, educational, etc., start in life, and not because I would want to give up my financial independence. I think that a smart marriage should still be able to work as a team on this level and treat each other as equals.

Of course I am happy in my serial monogamist life, but as a thinking woman I will always have my opinions :)

posted by Opus at 15:27 | |

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

May I feel said he

Today I thought I would simply share a naughty poem.

E.E. Cummings 1894 - 1962

may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she


(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she


(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)


may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she


may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she


but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she


(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she


(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)

posted by Opus at 17:08 | |

Tuesday, January 25, 2005


Have faith?

posted by Opus at 19:08 | |

Have faith?

“Four of the most ambitious, striking and costly works of religious art commissioned by a British cathedral in the last 50 years will be revealed in St Paul’s this evening.”

The 22ft high paintings are to be placed centre stage on the walls at the head of the nave, near the dome.

The dean of St Paul’s Dr. John Moses hopes the paintings “will appeal to people that believe that we live in a pretty tormented world.”

Well yes, the world that we live in is pretty tormented, but I thought that religious people sought comfort in their faith and sacred places of worship, away from the tormented world; I wonder whether such people will be able to see what is comforting in this costly work of religious art.

posted by Opus at 18:50 | |

Monday, January 24, 2005

KISS

The KISS principle - "Keep it Simple, Stupid" is a popular maxim often invoked when discussing design. Humans want products; software, furniture, cars, etc to be easy to use.

One reading this article it would seem that this principle also applies to what men look for in a potential wife:

“In spite of emancipation, the feminist movement, gender equality, staunch efforts to avoid gender-stereotyping, men still prefer to marry women who are not too brainy.”

A study by four British universities indicates that if a woman has a high IQ she is less attractive as marriage material, “with a 40 per cent drop in marital prospects for every 16-point rise.”

I have to say a smile came across my face as I was reading this article, as Margaret Cook the writer of the article pointed out, it is funny how it’s automatically assumed that men don’t want to marry brainy women, as opposed to brainy women not wanting to marry. My preference would be to go with the latter as I can think of quite a few famous marriages where joint intellect brought about great achievements.

Alfred Lunt and Lynn Fontanne, Pierre and Marie Curie, Anne Morrow and Charles A. Lindbergh, DeWitt and Lila Acheson Wallace, Martin and Osa Johnson, Sir Winston and Lady Churchill, and I think most of these were early 20th century marriages, so surely late 20th century and 21st century marriages will have advanced.

In addition and in general most of a child’s pre-school education will be down to the mother, so why would any intelligent guy want to marry a not too brainy woman, a child’s early years; the informative years are so important.

Furthermore any intelligent guy is going to want to enjoy intelligent conversation with his wife, as well as lively banter, and quick wit and repartee.

No I’m sticking with the brainy women not wanting to marry, or perhaps to view it another way, brainy women will only choose to be in a relationship of equals.

posted by Opus at 23:14 | |

Friday, January 21, 2005

Elvis by the Presleys

Twenty-seven years after his death, Elvis Presley remains one of the
worlds most beloved and iconic figures. Let’s face it he had the looks, the voice, and the moves; boy did he have the moves. Now for the first time, Elvis the man revealed, the husband, the father and the artist is remembered intimately and honestly by those who knew him best - his ex wife Priscilla, daughter Lisa Marie and other close family members.


“CBS, SONY BMG, Random House Publishers and the Elvis Presley Estate have united in a multi-tiered effort to celebrate the life and legacy of Elvis Presley with the television special, a mini-series, a commemorative 2 CD set and a lavish book all coming in May.”

Now I wouldn’t say I’m an ardent fan but I will be pre-ordering my copy of 'Elvis by the Presleys'. Here was one interesting, complex, and extraordinary man who became the King of Rock and Roll.

Elvis by the Presleys, the new television special, will be broadcasted on the CBS Television Network on Friday, May 13th. It is expected to be broadcasted in the UK at a date yet to be confirmed.

“Before Elvis there was nothing”
John Lennon

posted by Opus at 13:11 | |

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Rules of attraction

I was socialising with a group of thirtysomething year old girlfriends the other evening and as does happen often the topic of conversation got round to men, or rather what really attracts us to a guy.

After we got over snickering about the obvious lewd reasons we got down to some serious thinking and found that for each of us the rules of attraction was very similar.

Purely on a visual basis nice eyes, hair, mouth, teeth, and hands came up as being important but we agreed that the guy need not be typically handsome, it was more important that the individual features of the face look good together.

Interestingly enough most of us (bar one) said we preferred dark hair and dark eyes, something do to with looking more intense, and on a sub-conscious level I wonder whether its connected with looking more Mediterranean.

Height seemed to be a subjective issue; we just preferred guys who were either the same height or taller than ourselves but over 6 foot 5 inches was getting a bit too tall… something to do with certain sexual positions, you see we do think hard on these matters.

No surprise in finding out that we all saw fit guys as more attractive, but we girls prefer lean and toned as opposed to chunky muscles, you see rippling muscles with a six pack not required just lean and toned in all the right places.

Personality wise we decided to go for the top five otherwise the list could have been quite extensive. Sense of humour was top of the must haves for attraction; we just love to be made to laugh. Being loving was second, affectionate third, sociable fourth and intelligent fifth.

Status, this again was interesting because we all agreed that yes if a guy has a good job and makes good money it is attractive but status in the form of a highly paid career is not an absolute must for attraction. A guy who is solvent, enjoys his job, knows how to apply himself, and is not highly stressed is most definitely attractive.

Oh yeah! Last but not least, unmarried, unattached, and completely available is quite attractive too!

posted by Opus at 16:23 | |

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Short & sweetish

I’ve been doing a bit of tidying up; well in fact I’ve had some boxes full of books lying around unpacked for ages. So I’m finally getting them out and putting them where they should be, but you know what we girls are like, we start reading books as we're unpacking and it ends up taking a very long time.

Not that I mind as I read a few of my favourite short poems and have decided to share these with you today, hope they make you smile.

Arthur Buller 1874 – 1944

Relativity

There was a young lady named Bright,
Whose speed was far faster than light;
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

Edna St Vincent Millay 1892 – 1950

First Fig

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends –
It gives a lovely light!


Felix Dennis 1947

Sex with Your Ex

Less guilt,
Less wilt,

Less nag,
More shag.


Felix Dennis 1947

The Devil to Pay

The Almighty made the universe and
then He went away,
Casting down the Devil, saying:
“Here, sir, you shall stay!”
But the Devil growing bored and having
talent, in his way,
Mated demons with orang-outangs, and

- here we are today.

posted by Opus at 15:38 | |

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Paint to pull…

Single, living in London, so what are your options?

Well if you work in the city I guess you can always saunter off to your local bar of an evening, get drunk, engage in meaningful banter (oxymoron intended), with your chosen prey in the hope that you might impress him/her/it with your linguistic skills.

You could of course try a local speed dating event, where you can play musical chairs with 29 or so other guys/girls, and really put your communication and body language skills to the test with the quick fire 3 minutes per person questions and answers routine.

Or for something new to do on a Saturday evening you could try your hand at painting, no previous experience required. Fig108 is located in trendy Notting Hill inside the Westbourne Studios on Acklam Road, a few minutes walk from Westbourne Park tube.

Every Saturday evening they hold a sort of paint party (you need to book). You’ll be given all that you need to create your masterpiece or simply just to have fun. If your creative juices start to run dry you can ask for guidance or seek alternative inspiration by means of the buzzy bar.


With 5 hours to create, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to mingle with other aspiring artists, and practise your brush strokes at the same time. You really are given a blank canvas; the rest is up to you.

posted by Opus at 17:52 | |

Monday, January 17, 2005

Kinky Kinsey!

Kinsey - Let’s talk about sex – opens in the UK March 4 2005

Alfred C. Kinsey, the pioneer sex researcher from Indiana University, published Sexual Behavior in the Human Male in 1948, followed by Sexual Behavior in the Human Female in 1953.

People under the age of 40 may not be familiar with these publications or the outrage they caused. There are those who believe Kinsey’s reports broke down certain boundaries and helped pave the way toward the sexual revolution of the 60’s and 70’s. Another view shared by many is that Kinsey promoted free sex regardless of the human cost; sex with anyone, anywhere, with any gender, at any age.

Through his research in to sexual behaviour and by interviewing thousands of people, Kinsey sought to prove that sexual normalcy is a myth.

People argue that his findings were fraudulent because rather than interviewing a geographic and ethnic cross-section, Kinsey's subjects were nearly all from the Midwest, white, college-educated, with many homosexuals. In their 1990 book Kinsey, Sex and Fraud, Dr. Judith Reisman and Edward Eichel revealed that as much as 25 percent of the male sample was prison inmates, including sex offenders.

Undoubtedly some of Kinsey’s findings in particular his notion that children are sexual beings from birth can be seen as a very dark way of using science to condone adult-child sex. It is quite understandable that this sort of scientific notion of Kinsey’s meets with complete opposition.

On a broad objective level one could say that Kinsey opened the door to adult sexual liberation and sexual knowledge. What sort of sexual experience would women be having today if the stated belief that performance of cunnilingus would reduce a woman's fertility was still held as true? I shudder to think. What sort of life would we have to today if the door had not been opened up for better sex education, contraceptives, and the pill?

Kinsey may not have conducted his research in the best possible way and yes there are some darker aspects to his findings, but he was a pioneer and his publications brought about a much needed sexual awareness, an awareness that society has used to progress to where we stand sexually today.

posted by Opus at 17:47 | |

Friday, January 14, 2005

Read my lips!

Following on from yesterdays post Are you sexually cliterate? I wonder just how many women feel comfortable with giving a man guidance in the art of the oral caress. I doubt very much we’re all as verbal as the character Samantha in ‘Sex and The City’, giving a lick by lick commentary, I think that would be a bit off putting, still I would imagine that many guys would welcome some input.

I mean how do we learn to be good at oral sex, mostly through trial and error, practise, and listening out for the right noises, but even then we may only know the basics, and not try different techniques.

If a woman is sexually aware of her body she will probably enjoy trying several different masturbation techniques while alone, taking her time to explore and play around with her sexual reponse, but she may not feel able to articulate these techniques to her lover.

On reading Ian Kerner’s book ‘She Comes First’, in particlar the second and third chapter, Rules of Usage and Putting it All Together respectively, I wondered whether Kerner hadn’t secretly spied on a woman pleasuring herself, for it seems to me that what he has managed to do is put in to words every womans clitoral desires.

posted by Opus at 22:30 | |

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Are you sexually cliterate?

This is the question of Ian Kerner author of the book ‘She Comes First’. I bought this book for a boyfriend knowing that he would enjoy reading it and decided to read it myself too - well two heads are better than one right ;-) I found this book well written, informative, and descriptive, with nice touches of humour, and the best thing is it’s written by a guy.

I mean I didn’t know that “the clitoris has eighteen parts, all of which play a role in the production of pleasure.” Neither did I know that the clitoral glans (the head) has “approximately eight thousand nerve endings, twice as many as the head of the penis and more than any other part of the human body…” ooh no wonder she’s so wonderfully sensitive!

I’m going to keep it brief today as I will probably elaborate on this post tomorrow, but I shall leave you with this from the book:

“It’s time to ‘think outside her box’. When it comes to the oral caress, every man should make a mantra of Rhett Butler’s infamous line to Scarlett O’Hara in Gone with the Wind: ‘You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.”

posted by Opus at 17:39 | |

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

City Swinger!

‘Sexy and The City’ actress Kim Cattrall has disclosed that she has decided to imitate her on screen character Samantha Jones and take on lovers. Cattrall 48 said “In my twenties and thirties I was a serial monogamist. Now I'm going to swing."

If you’ve followed my posts thus far I know what you might be thinking. In my earlier post - ‘Baby, baby, please!’ I stated that because of a personal choice I had been a serial monogamist for the last 21 years (yes I started early). So do I feel like swinging? Well no but I’d like to share my thoughts with you.

I’ve always been a one on one kind of girl there’s something about really getting to know a partner sexually, for me, that is very sensual and intense. Sex at the beginning of a new relationship is still great, passionate, and sexy, but after a while – and a lot of practising – I find it moves on to a deeper level (no pun intended).

Personally, I start to feel very connected to my amour and visa versa, this opens up a whole new dimension to sex as opposed to just lusty passion, we can tune in to each others rhythms and sexual nuances, whereas at the beginning this is all very much a guessing game, which can of course be fun, but at some point I get more pleasure from not having to guess.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not one of those girls who need to be in love with my partner before I can experience great sex, not at all, I figure if you put two experienced lovers together then the sex is going to be of a good standard, but for me this is just sex.

I’m not being a romantic fool either, I believe that great sex, no, fantastic sex, is part experience, part understanding, part listening, and part technique, plus a whole lot of being comfortable with truly letting go and opening up. This last part is very important and I wonder if constant ‘new sex’ really allows for this to take place.

posted by Opus at 19:01 | |

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

All together now…

For regular radio listeners Monday the 17th January will be a very odd day, a sort of Groundhog Day of the airwaves. The reason being, that some 250 UK commercial radio stations will be transmitting exactly the same show. Yes, no point in twiddling any knobs if you see what I mean, for 12 hours from 6am to 6pm the entire commercial radio network will join forces to broadcast a show UK Radio Aid from Capital Radio in London, Band Aid without the visuals.

The tsunami has rightly so had an overwhelming emotional effect on people from all cultures and backgrounds, personally some dear friends of mine have a relative missing and I cannot begin to imagine what they must be going through.

I also cannot imagine waking up one day to a land that has been ravaged by one of natures most powerful forces, to lose not only every security I have personally known, my home, my high street, my town, but also every love I have ever known, my family, my friends.

I know that once media coverage has tailed off so will much of our efforts to donate, whether to the tsunami or other such disasters. UK Radio Aid will be encouraging us to donate the last hour of this month’s salary to the appeal; I would like to suggest that we do this every month for our chosen appeal.

Figures

As of 10th January
Asian death toll - 156,193

As of 11th January
Foreign death toll – 402
Known missing – 2,998
Unaccounted for – 3,837

UK Radio Aid

Make a donation

posted by Opus at 18:35 | |

Monday, January 10, 2005

Baby, baby, please!

Well another A-list celebrity marriage bites the dust; Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have decided to separate and released a statement - “After seven years together we have decided to separate. We would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media. This decision is the result of much thoughtful consideration. We happily remain committed and caring friends with great love and admiration for one another.”

The cause of the separation is thought to be Pitt’s unreciprocated desire to have children, while Aniston has expressed a desire to focus on her movie career, she has signed up to make six films back-to-back. Whatever the reason for their separation, (and the career/kids things may well be the reason), the news of it got me thinking on something kind of relative, no surprise there.

Today in western society women have much more choice and freedom than they did 50 years ago, and perhaps moreso if a good career has resulted in a certain degree of success. My own personal choice has been (to date), to live child-free, I have nothing against children and love chatting and being silly with the children of my family and friends.

At a very early stage in my life I decided that I wanted more, many women do aspire to settle down one day and start a family, my aspirations have always been broader than the self and the personal, I enjoy being independent and connected to what’s happening out there.

On a relationship level this choice has meant 21 years of serial monogamy and looking back sometimes I subconsciously chose men who were commitment phobic sensing that the question of marriage and children would never come up and I was right. Well in fact that’s not entirely accurate, the questions did come up, but only when socialising with friends and then I’d get “when are you two going to get married and have kids, it’s been what, four years now?” This comment often came up while socialising and then gradually I would notice a morphing of my commitment phobic boyfriend(s), then I’d sense that the questions might just come up, within a few months I’d go AWOL.

I’m not commitment phobic, I have simply never felt the maternal urge to procreate and I don’t particularly believe in marriage, does this make me weird, I don’t think so, in fact some of my friends (the same friends who in the past have questioned me), now think that I’m wise to have stood by my values and not followed the herd.
The problem is that at 37 years of age (and well preserved so I’m told), I’m in that zone, it doesn’t matter whether I look to younger guys, similar age guys, or older guys… they all have a mission for marriage and babies. I just want to have a healthy, loving, intimate relationship with a special guy without the need to create a mini me and spiral in to a life of mundane madness. For now if I’m asked any questions by boyfriends my best defence is, “have you seen the new drama desperate housewives on Channel 4, now your question was again?”

posted by Opus at 23:36 | |

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Domestic Bliss?

Brimming with dark humour ‘Desperate Housewives’ started last week (Wed Channel 4 10pm). It’s the latest hit US drama to arrive on our doorstep that exposes the reality behind a veneer of domestic bliss of a group of housewives (aged early-thirties to mid-forties) in upmarket suburbia. If David Lynch’s ‘Twin Peaks’ had you missing social engagements and you happily watched ‘Sex & The City’ with a touch of ‘The Stepford Wives’ then ‘Desperate Housewives’ is one for you.

In the same vein (but far less dramatic), on Saturday 8th The Independent published an article ‘Desperate Husbands’. Five married men - who probably when they were single, would have been able to use words such as solvent, good job, GSOH, in a singles advert - revealed the reality of their domestic bliss.

Dan 32 is feeling the pressure of bringing up twins. He’s now the only one working and is kind of in denial over being the sole financial provider. At the same time he is being very hands on with the twins and is fast realising that the word twins simply defines the biological way in which they entered the world, and they look very similar, aside from this their rhythms, needs, and emotions are rarely in tempo. Sleep depravation, space depravation, tranquillity depravation, quality time depravation, along with an overwhelming sense of responsibility, is all kicking in at the same time. There is one good point though; they’ll both be off to nursery then to school at the same time. Well actually that’s two good points.

Martin 52 is a romantic and an idealist, nothing wrong with that, unless you get married that is. I sense his wistfulness of what life was like as a young man, free to roam, no responsibilities, chasing his dreams. He meets his princess falls in love and marries in to the happy ever after, except the real tale has a different plot. It would seem that his princess is realistic and likes her tangibles, so needs to acquire - the house, the children, and the bigger house. Perhaps this chafes against his more sensitive and romantic vision of what being married means but at the same time he realises that he’d be misplaced without the love, the children, and the house.

Olly 30 is married to a tidy (perhaps obsessively so) woman and he admits that he is not the tidiest of guys. What do think is happening? What do most tidy women do when married (and in love with), and living with an untidy guy… they tidy up after him (constantly). Olly complains of “the hand”. “It has become an entity in its own right”. I imagine an Addams Familyesque ‘Thing’ running around on all fours picking up Olly’s newspaper, keys, notebook, etc. and whisking them off to a safer, tidier home. The situation is so advanced that Olly has to call his wife at work to ask where stuff is! Olly’s wife is aware of her behaviour, but my guess is that in the politics of domestic bliss tidy always wins over untidy.

Iain 46 met his wife at university, he recalls always being the one who wanted to stay up all night when they were out socialising and his partner would prefer to leave early. They’ve been together now for 23 years and as one would imagine any relationship of such a length will encounter problems. It seems this happened with Iain, there were underlying problems not being discussed, and then to top it all off a mid-life crises of the grass is always greener variety (is there any other) struck. Iain had an affair and lived away from home for one year. The grass was not greener, but the affair acted as a catalyst in solving Iain’s marital problems. The flip side is that during Iain’s year away his wife started to socialise a lot and got used to not having him around. She didn’t stop socialising on Iain’s return and now she is the one often out late socialising with friends. Although he doesn’t recommend it Iain thinks his mid-life crisis helped his marriage in the long-term, and now he and his wife both realise that space and a certain amount of independence in a relationship is healthy.

Dean 38 has a good marriage, but still he worries. He worries about the possibility of not having a good marriage at some point in the future, and what this would mean. As coverage in the media last year proved fathers fear losing their children; the law is on the side of the mother – even if the father feels that the breakdown of the marriage was the mothers fault.

Dean feels immobilized in the face of such a possibility. Knowing that not only would he lose his children he would also lose his home. Everything a father loves can so easily be taken away from him if he makes any mistakes. But should fatherhood really be such a test?

This article made me smile in a way because it confirms in my mind that men and women are in fact not so far apart when it comes to the experience of marriage and living together.

We do go through the same emotions, have the same needs, concerns, and fears. But there is all too often a lack of clear open communication; true emotions get left unexpressed needs get overlooked, concerns get swept under the rug, and fears grow into ugly monsters. Then for some reason irrational behaviour sets in.

I don’t know about you but I’d rather share the experience – the ups and downs, the stresses and strains, the laughter the tears – in a more full and complete way, through promoting a relationship of true equals where the channel of communication is always open.

posted by Opus at 23:32 | |

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posted by Opus at 22:10 | |

50 Things

1 I’m the youngest of three
2 I have one brother and one sister
3 I share the same birthday and year as
Pammie
4 I’m 5’ 10”
5 I’m mixed race
6 My inside leg measurement is 34 inches
7 I’m often told I have beautiful eyes
8 As a young child I did ballet
9 I love being creative
10 I have a passion for music
11 I’m optimistic
12 I have one tattoo
13 My navel is pierced
14 I don’t eat red meat
15 I love writing
16 I’ve studied astrology
17 My ascendant is Leo
18 I don’t work in astrology
19 I enjoy good porn
20 I don’t look my age
21 I don’t feel my age
22 I don’t act my age
23 I’m very sociable, and charming – so I’m told
24 I lived in Manhattan, NY for 3 years
25 I lived in Paris, France for 3 years
26 I’ve travelled by rickshaw in Karachi, Pakistan
27 When absolutely necessary, I can pee standing up
28 I’d like to learn how to ride a motorcycle
29 Then I’d love one of
these
30 I’m feminine but not girly
31 I’m fiery but not volatile
32 I have very sensitive nipples – in a good way
33 It’s official, I’m a good kisser
34 At the age of sixteen I was strip searched
35 I don’t suffer from PMS
36 I get horny instead, or rather hornier (see above)
37 My dad comes from
here
38 I appeared on TV when I was nineteen
39 I’m an innuendo guru
40 I love to have a
screaming orgasm
41 My favourite Island to date is St. Barts
42 I stayed here, it was bliss (see above)
43 I can hold my breath under water for 180 seconds
44 I’ve seen 3 spirits
45 I have no fillings, none, niente
46 My favourite flower is the
Oriental Lilly
47 I’ve stood next to a naked Naomi Campbell
48 In fact she’s pinched my arse
49 I make a yummy Thai green salmon curry
50 I’m a lush for big reds… wine that is

posted by Opus at 21:45 | |

Need to know

I’m a passionate observer and participant of human interaction, how we relate. I love conversation and debate as well as quick wit and repartee. I love reading articles, books, and seeing films relevant to my interests, and listening to my mind as I hear an opinion taking shape, this happens a lot :-D

My mind is constantly in motion, leaping from lily pad to lily pad in search of its sustenance; knowledge food – I like my food to be interesting and unusual, replenishing me daily with vital nutrients.

I also enjoy snacking on light, frivolous, naughty food. So don’t be surprised to see my posts jump from serious to silly, from deep to light, I need variety and my mind is diverse.

My blog is a place where I get to taste my food in a more permanent way; I can come back and take nourishment again and again. I freely share my food with you; I hope you are tempted to revisit and dine with me again.

posted by Opus at 21:22 | |

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